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Our New World of Adult Bullies connects the dots to show how bullies at all levels of society follow the same predictable patterns of behavior. Bullies exist everywhere: families, workplaces, neighborhoods and communities, politics and government, and organizations of all types and sizes. And in a media landscape where conflict, crisis, chaos, and fear reign supreme, every day we see the worst behavior of celebrities, politicians, and other public figures who serve as role models. Winners and losers. Friends and enemies. Heroes and villains. People with high-conflict personalities think almost solely in these extremes. They regularly express unmanaged emotions, routinely blame others, and do harmful things that 90% of people would never do. Bullies share these characteristics, plus a drive to dominate or destroy their victims. But all bullies act in the same highly predictable patterns, regardless of their demographics and situation. By focusing on the ten hidden powers bullies employ—from their unrestrained nature and bully story to manipulating emotions and playing the victim—Bill Eddy unpacks the way bullies rely on primitive emotions and nonverbal behavior. He helps readers spot these behaviors and offers practical actions before they become immobilized by helplessness, blame, and shame. In today’s world, we all may have an adult bully in our lives sooner or later. For anyone who has a bully in their life now, for professionals who counsel victims of bullying, and for anyone who is concerned about the fraying of our culture and society, this book gives effective strategies to prevent bullies from taking over. Eddy’s six-step approach includes useful advice on how to: Recognize the patterns of bully behavior Pull the plug on the bully’s story Set limits with credible threats Impose serious consequences Communicate effectively about bullies to others Stand strong with others against bullies Our New World of Adult Bullies takes a closer look at the dangerous behavior of bullies and how to stop the behavior before it starts.
This book translates a decade of research about adult bullying at work. It can help targets understand and feel better about their situations as they come to see that bullying is never their fault. They will discover they are not alone: Sadly, many others also suffer at the hands of aggressors at work. Contents include studies on prevalence of bullying in the US, how targets fight back, how to repair the trauma and stigma of being targeted, and many other topics. The book is an outstanding resource to read before and use as evidence during grievances, complaints, or concerns with upper-management and HR professionals because the contents are based on peer-reviewed scientific research. -- From publisher s description.
When it comes to bullying, there is a vast amount of information written on this topic. Unfortunately most of the research and advice has been written with regards to bullying amongst children, within the school playground, etc. Unfortunately many bullies don't grow out of this mind-set and as such, end up as adult bullies and unfortunately, there is not much advice on how to deal with an adult bully! In Beat The Bully, you will learn what exactly a bully is and discover a simple test to see whether you are being bullied or not. Yet most importantly, you will discover the techniques that you can put in place to stop the bullying once and for all, no matter what type of bully is targeting you. Even if you don't believe that you are being targeted by a bully, the tools in this book will provide you with the resources so that if you ever are, you will not be powerless.
Straightforward and simple, this story tells how one child found the courage to tell a teacher about Ray, who was being picked on and bullied by other kids in school. Faced with the fact that "nobody knows what to do" while Ray is bullied, the children sympathetic to him feel fear and confusion and can only hope that Ray will "fit in some day." Finally, after Ray misses a day of school and the bullies plot mean acts for his return, our narrator goes to a teacher. The children then invite Ray to play with them, and, with adult help, together they stand up to the bullies.
The impossible people who make life’s journey so difficult are everywhere—at the office, in restaurants, on airplanes, living next door, members of your own family. They’re . . . • your “nothing is ever good enough” boss • the “no price is ever low enough” client • the next-door neighbor who redefines the meaning of paranoia • the maître d’ who looks through you as if you don’t exist • the father-in-law who you know is always thinking about how much better a life his Janey or Joey would have if only married to someone other than you Ron Shapiro and Mark Jankowski give you a simple and highly effective 4-point plan for dealing with all of them and more—N.I.C.E. Their system shows you how to neutralize your emotions so you don’t just react but act purposefully and wisely. It enables you to identify the type of bully, tyrant, or impossible person you’re facing—the situationally difficult (something has happened that turns an otherwise reasonable person into a temporary terror); the strategically difficult (she has empirical evidence that being difficult is a strategy that gets results); or simply difficult (being difficult is his 24/7 M.O.). Then you’ll learn how to shape the outcome by controlling the encounter and, finally, how to get “unstuck” by exploring your options. Using colorful stories from all walks of life— “He called me the scum of the earth and it went downhill from there,” “First, lock all your vendors in a small room,” and “The boss from hell”—the authors bring their lessons to life, from business life to family life.
Explores different ways children and teenagers are bullied (both mentally and physically), how the bully becomes a bully, how the victim becomes a victim, and what can be done about it.
Almost every woman has experienced bullying. Whether her role was that of victim, aggressor, or bystander, the pain of relational aggression (female bullying) lasts long after the incident has passed. In Mean Girls Grown Up, Cheryl Dellasega explores why women are often their own worst enemies, offering practical advice for a variety of situations. Drawing upon extensive research and interviews, she shares real-life stories from women as well as the knowledge of experts who have helped women overcome the negative effects of aggression. Readers will hear how adult women can be just as vicious as their younger counterparts, learn strategies for dealing with adult bullies, how to avoid being involved in relational aggression, and more. Dellasega outlines how women can change their behavior successfully by shifting away from aggression and embracing a spirit of cooperation in interactions with others.
Who knew wearing a red hat could cause such trouble? "My Red Hat" is a modern anti-bullying story with a twist. For Piper and her father Rick, what was a fun-filled day, and an ordinary trip to the store changes quickly when a bully is triggered by the sight of matching hats. They have to think fast and act smart. Else, they stand a chance of being the subject of the latest viral video to be passed around online. Intended to be a work of fiction, this type of behavior between adults bullying children is an increasingly modern reality. Using a layered approach to storytelling, "My Red Hat" is designed to provide discussion opportunities between children and parents. As serious as it is entertaining, this anti-bullying children's book serves as an early detection if a child is being bullied, has been a witness to others being bullied, or if the child has been taking on the role of a bully. We live in a very digital world, and the rules have changed. One wrong move in public can be a big problem, edited down to a few seconds of video, with no context of what happened before or after. We owe it to children to teach smart approaches to navigate the world. We owe it to adults to remind them to take the high road, control their impulses, and be a role model. Too many adults are seeking their 15 minutes of fame, even if it's at the expense of a child. We hope this type of behavior between adults bullying children is a modern fade. Until that changes, it is essential to ensure kids are equipped with the skills to recognize bullies living in bubbles, along with acquiring the confidence to make smart decisions on what to do next. Using a layered approach to storytelling, "My Red Hat" is an entertaining take, on a serious topic. Designed to provide discussion opportunities between children and adults, this anti-bullying children's book serves as an early detection if a child is being bullied, has been a witness to others being bullied, or if the child has been taking on the role of a bully. We owe it to children to teach smart approaches to navigate the world. We owe it to adults to remind them to take the high road, control their impulses, and be a role model. Too many adults are seeking their 15 minutes of fame, even if it's at the expense of a child. The bully in our story is a work of fiction. However, stories of adult bullies trying to trap and record others in an effort to shame and post a video online seem to be a modern trend that repeats itself every few weeks. One wrong move in public can be a big problem, edited down to a few seconds of video, with no context of what happened before or after. The way the story uses imagery is covert. Some will see this as political humor. That's not the intent. Regardless of your political affiliation, most adults can find value in using a red hat as an example. They either view the red hat as a metaphor to not bully a person because of his/her appearance or as a more direct example that highlights modern concerns that parents have towards bullies in the digital age. While many adults will enjoy the storyline, ultimately children are the audience. Young children are taught about the importance of tolerance towards others different than them. In early reviews, children have universally seen the bully as a villain with behavior that is inappropriate. And while parents and other family members of these children may have a very different view of the bully, and at the extreme end some will believe the young girl was 'asking for it,' it gives us great hope that children reject the bully, and side with Piper for her freedom to wear the red hat of her choice. Children see Piper's choice to wear a red hat as something that should be respected. We agree 100%.
Our New World of Adult Bullies connects the dots to show how bullies at all levels of society follow the same predictable patterns of behavior. Bullies exist everywhere: families, workplaces, neighborhoods and communities, politics and government, and organizations of all types and sizes. And in a media landscape where conflict, crisis, chaos, and fear reign supreme, every day we see the worst behavior of celebrities, politicians, and other public figures who serve as role models. Winners and losers. Friends and enemies. Heroes and villains. People with high-conflict personalities think almost solely in these extremes. They regularly express unmanaged emotions, routinely blame others, and do harmful things that 90% of people would never do. Bullies share these characteristics, plus a drive to dominate or destroy their victims. But all bullies act in the same highly predictable patterns, regardless of their demographics and situation. By focusing on the ten hidden powers bullies employ—from their unrestrained nature and bully story to manipulating emotions and playing the victim—Bill Eddy unpacks the way bullies rely on primitive emotions and nonverbal behavior. He helps readers spot these behaviors and offers practical actions before they become immobilized by helplessness, blame, and shame. In today’s world, we all may have an adult bully in our lives sooner or later. For anyone who has a bully in their life now, for professionals who counsel victims of bullying, and for anyone who is concerned about the fraying of our culture and society, this book gives effective strategies to prevent bullies from taking over. Eddy’s six-step approach includes useful advice on how to: Recognize the patterns of bully behavior Pull the plug on the bully’s story Set limits with credible threats Impose serious consequences Communicate effectively about bullies to others Stand strong with others against bullies Our New World of Adult Bullies takes a closer look at the dangerous behavior of bullies and how to stop the behavior before it starts.