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One of the world's top experts on betrayal looks at why we often can't see it right in front of our faces If the cover-up is worse than the crime, blindness to betrayal can be worse than the betrayal itself. Whether the betrayer is an unfaithful spouse, an abusive authority figure, an unfair boss, or a corrupt institution, we often refuse to see the truth order to protect ourselves. This book explores the fascinating phenomenon of how and why we ignore or deny betrayal, and what we can gain by transforming "betrayal blindness" into insight. Explains the psychological phenomenon of "betrayal blindness", in which we implicitly choose unawareness in order to avoid the risk of seeing treachery or injustice Based on the authors' substantial original research and clinical experience carried out over the last decade as well as their own story of confronting betrayal Filled with fascinating case studies involving unfaithful spouses, abusive authority figures and corrupt institutions, to name a few In a remarkable collaboration of science and clinical perspectives, Jennifer Freyd, one of the world's top experts on betrayal and child abuse, teams up with Pamela Birrell, a psychotherapist and educator with 25 years of experience.
Responding Right When You've Been Wronged We all know what it’s like to be lied to, cheated, tricked, or swindled. Whether you want revenge or to protect yourself from future harm, Phil Waldrep understands your pain. Waldrep had no idea of the steep journey that lay ahead of him when two men walked into his office and revealed an unfolding story of a friend turned colleague who was living what amounted to a second life. For years following, Waldrep sought to heal the wounds of this broken relationship and confront the pain he felt in the aftermath of this betrayal. Along the way, he discovered God’s solutions to overcoming resentment. In Beyond Betrayal, you’ll learn about the biblical principles and practical tools that can help you identify betrayers in your life and name the pain you feel rediscover God as the healer of your wounds avoid bitterness and express your anger in healthy ways learn to remain open to trusting others again as you build new relationships choose forgiveness and develop strategies to prevent future betrayal Whether you’ve been hurt by a family member, friend, colleague, or trusted leader, you are not alone. Even Jesus was betrayed. You don’t have to let past hurts limit your future relationships—you can move beyond betrayal.
Recovering from betrayal can be hard, but it can be done with grace, love, and dignity, using the tips and tools in this warm and engaging book on learning to trust again. You couldn’t brace yourself because you never saw it coming. Your sense of safety and security is shattered in an instant, and the shock is imprinted on your body and mind. Your heart breaks, you feel like you got sucker punched, and the pain is so raw, consuming, and overwhelming you can barely breathe. Someone close to you, possibly a family member, partner, or friend, just pulled the rug out from underneath you—lies you so easily believed and actions you dismissed because it never crossed your mind that the one you trusted the most could ever hurt you. You thought this person had your back. You thought the two of you were honoring the same rules, sharing the same moral code, and respecting the same beliefs. This was a person you loved, trusted, and believed. This is what it feels like to be blindsided by betrayal. During times of betrayal, when we most need support, sometimes the ones we would turn to first are the betrayers. Other times, we’re saddled with shame and fear. But it’s during these times when we need to turn for help and learn to trust again. This work offers support, comfort, and community to those struggling with feelings associated with betrayal and guides them to healing from a painful experience with betrayal. Readers will learn about, and move through the proven five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, and will be lovingly guided with tools and strategies along the way. They’ll also learn how predictable healing can be as they read not only Debi’s journey through betrayal, but the stories of others who have learned to copy, heal, and move on from betrayal to a place of trust and well-being. Readers will identify with at least a few of the many people in the book who share their unique experiences. In addition, they’ll learn about the three groups who didn’t heal and be inspired to take a different course of action so that they can have a more positive outcome.
"This volume deals with the subject of betrayal, and is appropriate as a self-help aid for clients. It also contains useful suggestions for therapists dealing with those who have experienced betrayal of trust."--Lucy R. Ferguson, Ph.D., member, AFTNC Faculty Member and Dean Emerita, CSPP, Alliant University.
Betrayal underlies all psychic trauma, whether sexual abuse or profound neglect, violence or treachery, extramarital affair or embezzlement. When we betray others, we violate their confidence in us. When others betray us, they pierce the veil of our innocent reliance. Betraying and feeling betrayed are ubiquitous to the scenarios of trauma and yet surprisingly neglected as a topic of specific attention by psychoanalysis. This book fills this gap. The first part deals with developmental aspects and notes that while the experience of betrayal might be ubiquitous in childhood, its lack of recognition by the parents is what leads to fixation upon it. Attention is also given to Oedipally-indulged and seduced children who feel betrayed later in the course of their development. Feelings of betrayal during early adolescence are also discussed. This section of the book closes with an account of situations where our bodies betray us. The realms of body image betrayal, body self betrayal, and the body's ultimate betrayal via physical death are addressed.
Whether you have felt the sting of betrayal or the sting of guilt from betraying another, author and speaker Carol Kornacki understands. Her heart-wrenching personal testimony will resonate with all who have been hurt or betrayed. Kornacki offers a four-step recovery process that begins with admitting something is wrong, then proceeding to forgiveness, giving it to God in prayer, and not seeking revenge. She refers to betrayal as the ?Judas kiss, ? which can take many forms, such as adultery, lying, gossiping, sexual abuse, breaking down of confidence, letting someone down, and deserting someone in need. According to Kornacki the recovery process is the same for each. Through her journey and experiences, readers will learn how to let go of the hurt and begin to forgive. Readers will find healing on each page and experience a future worth living to the fullest.
"Canada's journey to Confederation kicked off with a bang - or rather, a circus, a Civil War (American), a small fortune's worth of champagne, and a lot of making love in the old-fashioned sense (courting, that is). Miss Confederation is a rare opportunity to look back through a woman's eyes at the men and events at the centre of this pivotal time in Canada's history. Mercy Coles, the daughter of PEI delegate George Coles, kept a diary of the social happenings and political manoeuvrings as they affected her and her desires. A unique historical document, her diary is now being published for the first time, offering a window into the events that led to Canada's creation, from a point of view that has long been neglected."--
One of the world's top experts on betrayal looks at why we often can't see it right in front of our faces If the cover-up is worse than the crime, blindness to betrayal can be worse than the betrayal itself. Whether the betrayer is an unfaithful spouse, an abusive authority figure, an unfair boss, or a corrupt institution, we often refuse to see the truth order to protect ourselves. This book explores the fascinating phenomenon of how and why we ignore or deny betrayal, and what we can gain by transforming "betrayal blindness" into insight. Explains the psychological phenomenon of "betrayal blindness", in which we implicitly choose unawareness in order to avoid the risk of seeing treachery or injustice Based on the authors' substantial original research and clinical experience carried out over the last decade as well as their own story of confronting betrayal Filled with fascinating case studies involving unfaithful spouses, abusive authority figures and corrupt institutions, to name a few In a remarkable collaboration of science and clinical perspectives, Jennifer Freyd, one of the world's top experts on betrayal and child abuse, teams up with Pamela Birrell, a psychotherapist and educator with 25 years of experience.
Written by an experienced investigator, Ultimate Betrayal is the complete guide to recognizing, uncovering, and dealing with a cheating partner. You will learn how to evaluate your mate’s history, note changes in his routine, and gather evidence of his extracurricular activities—from phone bills and ATM receipts to computer records and hair on the headrest. The author also provides guidelines for confronting your mate, evaluating his reaction, and finally, choosing your next step, whether separation or reconciliation.