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In a friendly, nonconfrontational manner, Of Course You're Angry guides readers to discover the source of their anger and the forms it takes –violence, depression, resentment, and manipulation. Though we may not like to admit it, all of us get angry. At times we feel irked, exasperated, irritated, resentful, even enraged. Anger is a normal and healthy human emotion; learning to acknowledge and express it appropriately, however, especially for those in early recovery, is another story. Of Course You're Angry, first published in 1985, is a timely revision of the best-selling Hazelden title on the nature and resolution of anger, it shows us how to make anger work in a positive and effective way that can ease, rather than exacerbate, the problems and challenges of early recovery.In a friendly, nonconfrontive manner, Of Course You're Angry guides readers to discover the source of their anger and the forms it takes -- such as violence, depression, resentment, and manipulation. Authors Gayle Rosellini and Mark Worden continue by exploring various anger styles, and then provide clear, sensible, and practical guidelines for expressing anger, conquering "common conceits," and "wrangling with rancor." Their real-life examples and down-to-earth advice for dealing with anger without fear or guilt -- and without hurting oneself or others -- offers addicts as well as their family members and friends a way passed one of the most dangerous pitfalls of early recovery.
This is THE book on anger, the first book to explain exactly why we get mad, what anger really is - and how to cope with and use it. Often confused with hostility and violence, anger is fundamentally different from these aggressive behaviours and in fact can be a healthy and powerful force in our lives. What is anger? Who is allowed to be angry? How can we manage our anger? How can we use it? It might seem like a day doesn't go by without some troubling explosion of anger, whether we're shouting at the kids, or the TV, or the driver ahead who's slowing us down. In this book, the first of its kind, Dr. Ryan Martin draws on 20 years plus of research, as well as his own childhood experience of an angry parent, to take an all-round view on this often-challenging emotion. It explains exactly what anger is, why we get angry, how our anger hurts us as well as those around us, and how we can manage our anger and even channel it into positive change. It also explores how race and gender shape society's perceptions of who is allowed to get angry. Dr. Martin offers questionnaires, emotion logs, control techniques and many other tools to help readers understand better what pushes their buttons and what to do with angry feelings when they arise. It shows how to differentiate good anger from bad anger, and reframe anger from being a necessarily problematic experience in our lives to being a fuel that energizes us to solve problems, release our creativity and confront injustice.
"[W]e can't come off as a bunch of angry white men.” Robert Bennett, chairman of the Ohio Republican Party One of the enduring legacies of the 2012 Presidential campaign was the demise of the white American male voter as a dominant force in the political landscape. On election night, after Obama was announced the winner, a distressed Bill O'Reilly lamented that he didn't live in “a traditional America anymore.” He was joined by others who bellowed their grief on the talk radio airwaves, the traditional redoubt of angry white men. Why were they so angry? Sociologist Michael Kimmel, one of the leading writers on men and masculinity in the world today, has spent hundreds of hours in the company of America's angry white men – from white supremacists to men's rights activists to young students –in pursuit of an answer. Angry White Men presents a comprehensive diagnosis of their fears, anxieties, and rage. Kimmel locates this increase in anger in the seismic economic, social and political shifts that have so transformed the American landscape. Downward mobility, increased racial and gender equality, and a tenacious clinging to an anachronistic ideology of masculinity has left many men feeling betrayed and bewildered. Raised to expect unparalleled social and economic privilege, white men are suffering today from what Kimmel calls "aggrieved entitlement": a sense that those benefits that white men believed were their due have been snatched away from them. Angry White Men discusses, among others, the sons of small town America, scarred by underemployment and wage stagnation. When America's white men feel they've lived their lives the ‘right' way – worked hard and stayed out of trouble – and still do not get economic rewards, then they have to blame somebody else. Even more terrifying is the phenomenon of angry young boys. School shootings in the United States are not just the work of “misguided youth” or “troubled teens”—they're all committed by boys. These alienated young men are transformed into mass murderers by a sense that using violence against others is their right. The future of America is more inclusive and diverse. The choice for angry white men is not whether or not they can stem the tide of history: they cannot. Their choice is whether or not they will be dragged kicking and screaming into that inevitable future, or whether they will walk openly and honorably – far happier and healthier incidentally – alongside those they've spent so long trying to exclude.
The author of The Flying Boy describes how repressing anger can have profound effects on personal health and guides readers step by step through the process of getting past their fears. “Facing the Fire is the best book on anger I have read; it is responsible, honest, practical, and a good read. I know the techniques Lee describes work, and the exercises alone make it a valuable book. I will use Facing the Fire personally and professionally.”—Dr. Patricia Love, author of The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent’s Love Rules Your Life Do you believe: Anger is a “negative” emotion? “Nice” or “emotionally sophisticated” people don't get angry? Anger will disappear when you have understood intellectually what causes it? You won’t be angry if you just learn to forgive? If so, you are not alone. Anger is the most misunderstood and, consequently, painful of all our emotions. But denying, suppressing, and avoiding our own and others’ anger can have unfortunate results: weakened immune systems, numbing addictions, stormy relationships, lowered self-esteem. Now, John Lee, the nationally renowned speaker, teacher, and author, shows you a better way of dealing with anger. Based on his work with clients and his own experiences with anger, he: • Uses real-life scenarios to help you understand what anger is, what causes it, and why it cannot and should not be avoided • Carefully guides you through a process of confronting and getting past the fears—of losing control, of alienating people, of hurting yourself or someone you love—that keep you from honestly experiencing and accepting your anger • Gently demonstrates ways in which you can express anger constructively—from talking it out to pounding your pillow • Demonstrates why another person’s anger, if it is expressed appropriately, need not be threatening or harmful to you—but in fact can help you “Anger is our most misunderstood emotion. It is a fire that will either consume or purify. In this book, through effective and practical exercises, John Lee carefully guides the reader into a healthy relationship with this powerful emotion.”—Wayne Kritsberg, author of The Invisible Wound
Psychologists Anne Hilde Vassbø Hagen and Joanne Dolhanty explain everything you need to know about your child’s anger and how to manage it. Anger can be normal and healthy when it enables us to stand up for ourselves and defend against injustice. However, it can also lead to aggression—even violence—while also hiding other, more vulnerable emotions. For instance, an angry child may be hiding embarrassment, shame, disappointment, sadness, loneliness, or fear. As a parent, it is your job to help your child understand their anger, express it in an appropriate way, and address the underlying need. In Angry Kids, Angry Parents you will learn how to respond to your child’s anger in a sensitive and productive way that validates their feelings, addresses their needs, and teaches them to manage their own anger. It can be nerve-wracking to watch your child explode in rage. This book will teach you how to stay calm and protect your boundaries. Supported by years of psychological research and therapeutic practice, the strategies in this practical, compassionate book will help any parent who struggles with their child’s anger.
Acting in anger is bad, but anger itself is not. It's a communication, like pain: you get angry only when something's wrong. With lots of client stories, this book shows you how anger tries to protect you, and how you can honor its messages. When you improve your relationship with anger, you take better care of yourself, and then -- you're no longer angry.
Everyone gets angry. And in a turbulent economy where finances are stretched, property prices waver and unemployment booms, blowing a fuse is par for the course. But you don't have to take it out on others! Anger Management For Dummies, UK Edition shows you how to work through feelings of rage, emerge from the red mist, and lead a healthier, happier and more positive life. This fully adapted UK edition guides you through ways to recognise and deal with the underlying causes of anger at work, in relationships and in your personal life - and teaches you how to stay positive in spite of all the stresses and strains life throws your way. From letting go of resentments, preventing new rage and dealing with the anger of others, to improving self-expression, honing spiritual calm and getting a good night's sleep, this user-friendly guide tackles the latest anger-busting exercises and therapies (including CBT) and demonstrates how to deal with anger constructively.
An illustrated journal for meeting grief with honesty and kindness—honoring loss, rather than packing it away With her breakout book It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine struck a chord with thousands of readers through her honest, validating approach to grief. In her same direct, no-platitudes style, she now offers How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed—a journal filled with unique, creative ways to open a dialogue with grief itself. “Being allowed to tell the truth about your grief is an incredibly powerful act,” she says. “This journal enables you to tell your whole story, without the need to tack on a happy ending where there isn’t one.” Grief is a natural response to death and loss—it’s not an illness to be cured or a problem to be fixed. This workbook contains no clichés, timetables, or checklists of stages to get through; it won’t help you “move past” or put your loss behind you. Instead, you’ll find encouragement, self-care exercises, and daily tools, including: •Writing prompts to help you honor your pain and heartbreak • On-the-spot practices for tough situations—like grocery store trips, the sleepless nights, and being the “awkward guest” • The art of healthy distraction and self-care • What you can do when you worry that “moving on” means “letting go of love” • Practical advice for fielding the dreaded “How are you doing?” question • What it means to find meaning in your loss • How to hold joy and grief at the same time • Tear-and-share resources to help you educate friends and allies • The “Griever’s Bill of Rights,” and much more Your grief, like your love, belongs to you. No one has the right to dictate, judge, or dismiss what is yours to live. How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed is a journal and everyday companion to help you enter a conversation with your grief, find your own truth, and live into the life you didn’t ask for—but is here nonetheless.
Challenging conventional wisdom on grief, a pioneering therapist offers a new resource for those experiencing loss When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. “Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form,” says Megan Devine. “It is a natural and sane response to loss.” So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible? In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to “fix” your pain • How to help the people you love—with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to “solve” grief. Megan writes, “Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution.” Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face—in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world. It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.