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Don’t take the title as a metaphor: it really is the worst book ever. Governor General Literary Award winning children’s book author and illustrator Elise Gravel takes readers on an unexpected journey through the world’s most boring book. The story’s characters and omniscient readers alike quickly become annoyed by the author’s bland imagination and rebel against her tired tropes and stale character choices, spouting sass in an attempt to get her attention and steer the narrative in a more interesting direction. After all, you don’t even have to buy the book, but the characters? They’re stuck in there for an eternity, and they’re going to do their best to make the most of it, or at least have a little fun where they can. As the charming and bizarre true nature of the characters overpowers the dry attributes given to them by the author, this once blasé story quickly picks up speed, transforming the story into something much more unique than originally promised. With Gravel’s signature goofy characters behind the wheel, no silly twist or rude body function is off the table!
A book about all the things that can go wrong when you try to write one, by the picture-book dream team that produced The Pencil and Hooray for Bread Picture books are such good fun and so is making them— but who knew there were so many things that could go wrong? This is the story of a picture book doomed from the very start. Allan has a good idea for a book about a crocodile, but every time he sits down to write, he’s interrupted. The manuscript gets soaked in coffee, nibbled by snails, and when Bruce gets started on the pictures, he gets overexcited and draws a hippo, not a crocodile, at which point the publishers get overexcited too—they want a dinosaur and experiment with all kinds of different fonts. Allan and Bruce finally think they’ve straightened things out, when the book goes off to the printer and—you guessed it—the trouble really starts. My Worst Book Ever is a clever and amusing introduction to the process of writing books for children, and they—along with their parents—will be delighted to see how hilariously wrong Allan and Bruce’s book turns out.
OH NO!!! You found The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World! Well, since you're already here I may as well tell you about it... Poor Nameless tries to explain to the reader why this book is simply the WORST book in the whole entire world. Will he succeed in his noble quest? Is he the reason this book is the worst?? Will it have a happy ending or the worst ending ever??? The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World is a humorous and witty tale for young and seasoned readers. Whatever you do though, don't read it out loud! You may catch wind of these words: toot, stinky, booger, and booty. You've been warned, but you'll still want to see what happens next!
Most bad books are happy hanging out at rummage sales. Not this bad book. Its goal is to be featured on the Banned Books List. Problem is, no one seems to notice¿ until the book teams up with its boisterous readers. Together, the book and its readers shout, sing, and wiggle their way into the attention of a local librarian. Will the book see its cover on the library wall¿ or will it end up in the recycling bin? Full of bold, colorful graphics and laugh-out-loud humor, The Worst Book Ever is another high-lo book for reluctant readers by Beth Bacon. Uses meta-storytelling and interactivity to get kids laughing, wiggling, shouting¿and reading. Ideal for read-alouds, story time, as well as independent reading for beginning to intermediate reluctant readers.
"Zade Holder has always been a free-spirited young woman, from a long dynasty of tarot-card readers, fortunetellers, and practitioners of magick. Growing up in a small town and never quite fitting in, Zade is determined to forge her own path. She leaves her home in Tennessee to break free from her overprotective mother Dela, the local resident spellcaster and fortuneteller. Zade travels to Las Vegas and uses supernatural powers to become part of a premiere magic show led by the infamous magician Charles Spellman. Zade fits right in with his troupe of artists and misfits. After all, when everyone is slightly eccentric, appearing 'normal' is much less important. Behind the scenes of this multimillion-dollar production, Zade finds herself caught in a love triangle with Mac, the show's good-looking but rough-around-the-edges technical director and Jackson, the tall, dark, handsome and charming bandleader. Zade's secrets and the struggle to choose between Mac or Jackson creates reckless tension during the grand finale of the show. Using Chaos magick, which is known for being unpredictable, she tests her abilities as a spellcaster farther than she's ever tried and finds herself at death's door. Her fate is left in the hands of a mortal who does not believe in a world of real magick, a fortuneteller who knew one day Zade would put herself in danger and a dagger with mystical powers"--Amazon.com
A new, hilarious picture book for kids from the #1 New York Times bestselling authors of P IS FOR PTERODACTYL! What makes this picture book for kids be THE WORST read aloud book ever? Try reading these sentences aloud: The mummy prepared farro for dinner. The mummy prepared pharaoh for dinner. Sounds the same, right? But they're totally different! Kids will laugh at the irreverent, super silly humor and witty illustrations that provide context clues and help explain the outrageous sentences. While kids are cracking up at you repeating yourself, they also will be learning about homonyms and homophones! There's also a glossary to help explain the sound-alike words. This hysterical book for kids is sure to delight parents, teachers, and anyone who loves to laugh at the absurdity of the English language. "Those who love wordplay are the natural constituency for No Reading Allowed: The Worst Read-Aloud Book Ever, a picture book that's bright with comic scenes... [and] brilliant pairings of picture and word (and word with word)."—The Wall Street Journal "If you're a logophile (=word nerd), grammar geek, or a bookworm, and especially, if you're a teacher or homeschooler, snag a copy of No Reading Allowed for yourself and a friend. This will be a hot holiday gift for us word nerd folks!"—Imagination Soup
This is not a hoax. Jim Theis was a real person, who wrote The Eye of Argon in all seriousness as a teenager, and published it in a fanzine, Osfan in 1970. But the story did not pass into the oblivion that awaits most amateur fiction. Instead, a miracle happened, and transcribed and photocopied texts began to circulate in science fiction circles, gaining a wide and incredulous audience among both professionals and fans. It became the ultimate samizdat, an underground classic, and for more than thirty years it has been the subject of midnight readings at conventions, as thousands have come to appreciate the negative genius of this amazing Ed Wood of prose.
A New York Times Bestseller! A "raucous trip through the odd corners of our alphabet." —The New York Times Let's get real—the English language is bizarre. A might be for apple, but it's also for aisle and aeons. Why does the word "gnat" start with a G but the word "knot" doesn't start with an N? It doesn't always make sense, but don't let these rule-breaking silent letters defeat you! This whimsical, funky book from Raj Haldar (aka rapper Lushlife) turns the traditional idea of an alphabet book on its head, poking fun at the most mischievous words in the English language and demonstrating how to pronounce them. Fun and informative for word nerds of all ages!
In Miami, where the sun always shines and the people are always fabulous, sixteen-year-old Hugo is ready for something more than school and hanging out. When he meets Glenn Elliot Paul, he thinks that, maybe, he had found something to look forward to. Hugo gets more than he bargained for, however, when he realizes that the man of his dreams is also dating his mother.My Worst Date is a humorous and insightful novel--an innovative take on the traditional coming-of-age novel.
In this hilarious novel, written in the voice of eighth-grader Wyatt Palmer, Dave Barry takes us on a class trip to Washington, DC. Wyatt, his best friend, Matt, and a few kids from Culver Middle School find themselves in a heap of trouble-not just with their teachers, who have long lost patience with them -- but from several mysterious men they first meet on their flight to the nation's capital. In a fast-paced adventure with the monuments as a backdrop, the kids try to stay out of danger and out of the doghouse while trying to save the president from attack-or maybe not.