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Ever since being brought up by The Beatles, Frankie Boyle has been a tremendous liar. Join him on his adventures with his chum Clangy The Brass Boy and laugh as he doesn’t accidentally kill a student nurse when a party gets out of hand.
"Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A stunning “portrait of the enduring grace of friendship” (NPR) about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. A masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century. NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST • MAN BOOKER PRIZE FINALIST • WINNER OF THE KIRKUS PRIZE A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. Look for Hanya Yanagihara’s latest bestselling novel, To Paradise.
There's a mantra that real writers know but wannabe writers don’t. And the secret phrase is this: NOBODY WANTS TO READ YOUR SH*T. Recognizing this painful truth is the first step in the writer's transformation from amateur to professional. From Chapter Four: “When you understand that nobody wants to read your shit, you develop empathy. You acquire the skill that is indispensable to all artists and entrepreneurs—the ability to switch back and forth in your imagination from your own point of view as writer/painter/seller to the point of view of your reader/gallery-goer/customer. You learn to ask yourself with ev­ery sentence and every phrase: Is this interesting? Is it fun or challenging or inventive? Am I giving the reader enough? Is she bored? Is she following where I want to lead her?
Brace yourself, Frankie's back, and he's more outspoken and brilliantly inappropriate than ever. There are fears that this year could see the start of a double-dip recession, or worse still a double-dip-with-misery-sprinkles and f∗∗k-where's-my-job?-sauce. Why not chuckle into the howling void as taloned fingers reach up to consume you with Frankie Boyle's new book, Work! Consume! Die! In Work! Consume! Die! stand-up comedy's favourite pessimist, Frankie Boyle, offers his outrageous, laugh-out-loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it. He describes your reality as viewed through a bloodshot eye pressed against a shit-smeared telescope, focused on hell: * 'Charlie Sheen's life consists of going on huge drug benders with groups of porn stars. If he straightened himself out he could have a really mediocre career as a bit-part Hollywood actor. Playing the role of Martin Sheen's corpse. He's crazy like a fox! And also actually crazy. What a tragic waste, not being Charlie Sheen is. How majestic it will be for him to die, possibly quite soon, knowing that when they make a movie of his life, it will be a porno.' * 'The X Factor will be allowed to show product placements. That's powerful advertising. Last series I realised that looking at the judges alone had made me subconsciously buy a gnome, a scrag-end of mutton, a vacuous mannequin and a suspected gay.' * 'The Taliban are running out of bullets. Operation 'Get our troops to absorb them with their bodies' is finally paying off. The Taliban are finding it impossible to get hold of essential supplies - at last we're fighting on equal terms. But let's not get complacent. Just because they're running out of bullets we mustn't assume our boys won't get shot. Remember, the US troops have still got plenty.' A no-holds-barred tour de force of comic writing, Work! Consume! Die! is Frankie Boyle at his brutal, taboo-busting best. This is nothing more or less than the clanging call to arms of a dying mechanical God.
Good advice for tough times "To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone." —Reba McEntire "You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." —Mary Tyler Moore "Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink." —Charles Bukowski "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." —Mark Twain "Anyone who trades liberty for security deserves neither." —Benjamin Franklin "When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum." —Desmond Tutu Ever had one of those days when nothing seems to go your way? Poor little you. Now deal with it! Life is too short to spend moping around when instead you could be taking things with a pinch of salt—and a shot of tequila. Here's a book packed with straight-talking quotations to help you get a grip and find the brighter side.
From her humble roots in the Bronx to Laverne and Shirley and her unlikely ascent in Hollywood, the beloved actor and director tells the story of her incredible life.
From the New York Times bestselling author Kristin Hannah comes a powerful novel of love, loss, and the magic of friendship. . . . now a #1 Netflix series! In the turbulent summer of 1974, Kate Mularkey has accepted her place at the bottom of the eighth-grade social food chain. Then, to her amazement, the "coolest girl in the world" moves in across the street and wants to be her friend. Tully Hart seems to have it all---beauty, brains, ambition. On the surface they are as opposite as two people can be: Kate, doomed to be forever uncool, with a loving family who mortifies her at every turn. Tully, steeped in glamour and mystery, but with a secret that is destroying her. They make a pact to be best friends forever; by summer's end they've become TullyandKate. Inseparable. So begins Kristin Hannah's magnificent new novel. Spanning more than three decades and playing out across the ever-changing face of the Pacific Northwest, Firefly Lane is the poignant, powerful story of two women and the friendship that becomes the bulkhead of their lives. From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she longs to be loved unconditionally. In the glittering, big-hair era of the eighties, she looks to men to fill the void in her soul. But in the buttoned-down nineties, it is television news that captivates her. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the globe, finding fame and success . . . and loneliness. Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. Throughout college, she pretends to be driven by a need for success, but all she really wants is to fall in love and have children and live an ordinary life. In her own quiet way, Kate is as driven as Tully. What she doesn't know is how being a wife and mother will change her . . . how she'll lose sight of who she once was, and what she once wanted. And how much she'll envy her famous best friend. . . . For thirty years, Tully and Kate buoy each other through life, weathering the storms of friendship---jealousy, anger, hurt, resentment. They think they've survived it all until a single act of betrayal tears them apart . . . and puts their courage and friendship to the ultimate test. Firefly Lane is for anyone who ever drank Boone's Farm apple wine while listening to Abba or Fleetwood Mac. More than a coming-of-age novel, it's the story of a generation of women who were both blessed and cursed by choices. It's about promises and secrets and betrayals. And ultimately, about the one person who really, truly knows you---and knows what has the power to hurt you . . . and heal you. Firefly Lane is a story you'll never forget . . . one you'll want to pass on to your best friend.
So Far, So Good beautifully lays out life like a mosaic-opportunities of acclaim and fortune among moments of deep heartbreak, regret, and personal disappointment, all culminating in a life destined for purpose. If you have ever felt alone, uncertain, or overwhelmed, or questioned why God has allowed difficult circumstances to become part of your personal narrative, Jody's story is for you. Every word on these pages comes with the hope that as you read them you will find healing and comfort in knowing you are not alone.
Most of my life, I have heard, "Only you, Lauren," and have frequently asked myself, "Why does crazy shit always happen to me?" Now I have found an answer to the question I have asked myself over the years....to share my stories with you! The way I figure it is that there is no point to annoying, frustrating, funny and downright unbelievable shit to happen, unless you are going to share those stories with others. In this book, you will find a series of true stories written and experienced by me. Some will be very short, while others needed multiple pages to get the full story down. You will read about my family members, friends, former friends, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, colleagues, past clients and many more people who have helped me fill the pages of my life so far. After reading this book, I encourage you take a minute to think about all the stories of your life, both good and bad, and look at how they have contributed to who you are today. For me, these stories are more than just funny and crazy shit that has happened to me over the years. Each one of these stories has taught me something I may not have learned without them, and have helped to shape me into the person I am today. At the end of each chapter, you will read what I learned from each one of the stories I share. Some lessons were life-changing, while others simply taught me not to cut 12 inches off a bridesmaid dress before trying it on. Actually, come to think of it, maybe that should be considered a life-changing lesson! As I always say, everything happens for a reason, even the bad stuff. It is our job to figure out what that reason is, no matter how small, and use that information to expand our horizons and live a happier and healthier life. Enjoy!