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An experienced psychotherapist explores how mothers unwittingly pass on their self-esteem and body image issues to their daughters and shows readers how they can break the cycle.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: I Am My Mother After All is the story of a daughter's resistance to repeating the enmeshed relationships and patriarchal oppressions suffered by her brilliant and talented mother. The work relates a mother's struggle to achieve and flourish despite an abusive childhood with a cruel and crazed father and the disillusionment and heartbreak of a failed and broken marriage. It follows the author's quest for enlightenment and her determination to forge new paths from the patriarchal oppression she grew up with. Along the way, she discovers similar vulnerabilities and ultimately travels full circle to understand her mother as she learns to accept herself. Mirror, Mirror appeals to those who enjoy biographies and those seeking self-enlightenment and growth. The book quietly details a pursuit for balance between the masculine and the feminine and offers the challenge of following one's calling with unanticipated outcomes.
Mom in the Mirror: Body Image, Beauty, and Life after Pregnancy is for every woman who has ever doubted herself or her self-worth after the birth of a child. Because most women spend much of their lives attempting to change their bodies, it’s not surprising that the weight gain that comes along with pregnancy (and post-pregnancy), coupled with the challenges of parenting, only exacerbate issues with weight, body image, disordered eating, and self-esteem. Drawing on the wisdom of eating disorders expert Dr. Dena Cabrera, as well as the personal experiences of former anorexic Emily Wierenga, Mom in the Mirror is a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual response to a female generation seeking its true identity in an appearance-based world. With chapters that deal with bruises from the past, misconceptions about pregnancy, life before and after children, marriage and motherhood, spiritual and physical nourishment, relationships with friends and family, and the changing role of a mother as her children age, it is a holistic approach to the age-old questions: Who am I, and why am I here? Comprising personal stories, expert advice, reflection questions, and helpful tools, this book is an inspiring read intended for women everywhere who want to restore a positive body image and to overcome the insecurities that arise when pregnancy is over and child-rearing begins.
Comprises ninety-four selections from her private journals with new pieces written for this book.
The one book every mother of a girl age 9 to 19 needs to have on her shelves. Girl in the Mirror is the book we've all been looking for. It teaches us that our daughters' adolescence isn't a time to be gotten through or survived; instead, it's a tremendous opportunity not just to foster social, emotional, and intellectual growth, but to forge new connections between us and our daughters. Drawing on the latest research and interviews with experts in different fields, Girl in the Mirror sheds new light on the journey that is adolescence, the crucial interaction between mother and daughter, and the ways in which our own parenting skills must evolve as our daughters move into a new stage of growth.
As a daughter untangles herself from the traumatic relationship with her mother, her life unfolds in ways she could never have imagined. A fascinating memoir of growing up in the outrageous 1960’s & 1970’s. Shockingly honest, warm, humorous and deeply insightful. Andrea Kitt was the sole survivor of seven miscarriages: the answer to her parents’ dreams, and the carrier of their pain, confusion, naivete and fear. As a child she hid: in silence, in a semi-numbness in which she tried not to feel anything much at all. The journey out of this hiding place was shameful, ecstatic, tragic and wonderful... She explored psychedelic drugs, danced in a strip club, worshipped an Indian god, and fell in love again and again. She screamed at inner demons, swam in coral seas, climbed mountains and gave birth to two beautiful children. And behind all this runs the story of how the challenging relationship with her mother shaped her life: As Andrea says: ‘How complicated, the mother daughter dance: what indignance and fury, softness, and soul-wrenching longing. How hard we try to be different, and how hard we try to be the same. Yet in the end, whether your mother has been jealous and critical, humble and kind, or painfully absent, there will come a day when you look in the mirror and see her looking back at you.’ After her own children have grown up, a major life crisis causes her to look deeply at the mother daughter dynamic that has dominated her life. At last she is able to unravel the painful cords of trauma and misunderstanding and find the peace and strength she has been looking for, and to enter into a healthy relationship...
Dee I always thought it would be cool to escape into another world. I never believed I'd find one in my reflection. But there I was, falling through the mirror into a parallel life—Samara's life. And she needed me. The cutting, the dead mom, no friends...She was hurting, and I knew it was up to me to fix it. She needed me to fix her. She'll thank me... Samara I never had a friend until I met Dee, at least not a real friend. But then she's my reflection, so maybe I'm just crazy. When she suggested we switch places, it seemed like the perfect answer. So I let her live in my world, and I lived in hers. With her mom, her boyfriend, her friends—her perfect life...I don't belong here. But how can I go back after what she's done? Two girls, one reflection, and a startling discovery about what really lies beyond the bathroom mirror...
The New York Times–bestselling graphic memoir about Alison Bechdel, author of Fun Home, becoming the artist her mother wanted to be. Alison Bechdel’s Fun Home was a pop culture and literary phenomenon. Now, a second thrilling tale of filial sleuthery, this time about her mother: voracious reader, music lover, passionate amateur actor. Also a woman, unhappily married to a closeted gay man, whose artistic aspirations simmered under the surface of Bechdel's childhood…and who stopped touching or kissing her daughter good night, forever, when she was seven. Poignantly, hilariously, Bechdel embarks on a quest for answers concerning the mother-daughter gulf. It's a richly layered search that leads readers from the fascinating life and work of the iconic twentieth-century psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, to one explosively illuminating Dr. Seuss illustration, to Bechdel’s own (serially monogamous) adult love life. And, finally, back to Mother—to a truce, fragile and real-time, that will move and astonish all adult children of gifted mothers. A New York Times, USA Today, Time, Slate, and Barnes & Noble Best Book of the Year “As complicated, brainy, inventive and satisfying as the finest prose memoirs.”—New York Times Book Review “A work of the most humane kind of genius, bravely going right to the heart of things: why we are who we are. It's also incredibly funny. And visually stunning. And page-turningly addictive. And heartbreaking.”—Jonathan Safran Foer “Many of us are living out the unlived lives of our mothers. Alison Bechdel has written a graphic novel about this; sort of like a comic book by Virginia Woolf. You won't believe it until you read it—and you must!”—Gloria Steinem
“You will devour these beautifully written—and very important—tales of honesty, pain, and resilience” (Elizabeth Gilbert, New York Times bestselling author of Eat Pray Love and City of Girls) from fifteen brilliant writers who explore how what we don’t talk about with our mothers affects us, for better or for worse. As an undergraduate, Michele Filgate started writing an essay about being abused by her stepfather. It took her more than a decade to realize that she was actually trying to write about how this affected her relationship with her mother. When it was finally published, the essay went viral, shared on social media by Anne Lamott, Rebecca Solnit, and many others. This gave Filgate an idea, and the resulting anthology offers a candid look at our relationships with our mothers. Leslie Jamison writes about trying to discover who her seemingly perfect mother was before ever becoming a mom. In Cathi Hanauer’s hilarious piece, she finally gets a chance to have a conversation with her mother that isn’t interrupted by her domineering (but lovable) father. André Aciman writes about what it was like to have a deaf mother. Melissa Febos uses mythology as a lens to look at her close-knit relationship with her psychotherapist mother. And Julianna Baggott talks about having a mom who tells her everything. As Filgate writes, “Our mothers are our first homes, and that’s why we’re always trying to return to them.” There’s relief in acknowledging how what we couldn’t say for so long is a way to heal our relationships with others and, perhaps most important, with ourselves. Contributions by Cathi Hanauer, Melissa Febos, Alexander Chee, Dylan Landis, Bernice L. McFadden, Julianna Baggott, Lynn Steger Strong, Kiese Laymon, Carmen Maria Machado, André Aciman, Sari Botton, Nayomi Munaweera, Brandon Taylor, and Leslie Jamison.
In her acclaimed New York Times bestseller, Motherless Daughters, Hope Edelman explored the profound and lasting effects of mother loss, as well as her own search for healing. Now, in her compelling new work, Edelman explores another complex, life-changing relationship, the intricate bond between generations. Drawing from her own experience and the recollections of over seventy other granddaughters, Edelman explores the three-generation triangle from which women develop their female identities: the grandmother-mother-daughter relationship. With eloquent personal testimony, she demonstrates the vital roles grandmothers have played in their granddaughters' lives, as a source of unconditional love, family values and traditions, and backup parent, the ultimate safety net. Here are grandmothers in all their glory: The "Benevolent Manipulator", whose love for her family is matched only by her desire for control; The "Gentle Giant", awesome, respected, who possesses a quiet, behind-the-scenes power; The "Autocrat", who rules her extended family like a despot; The "Kinkeeper", the family hub, who offers a sense of cohesion to the extended clan. With insight and compassion, Edelman probes this unique and emotionally-charged relationship in a book that is a true celebration of an extraordinary bond--and a must read for every woman.