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THE ULTIMATE BOOK OF BATHROOM ETIQUETTE AND HUMOR (REVISED 2023 EDITION) Stories, Quotes, Rules, Songs, Musings, and More to Educate, Entertain & Inspire. www.UltimateBathroomBook.com There are other books on the market designed to give bathroom users a few laughs, or a lot of arcane facts, while they are passing their time...and gas. But there are very few if any other books that are about all aspects of the bathroom itself. The Ultimate Book of Bathroom Etiquette and Humor will uniquely give you the expertise you need to make you a more considerate bathroom user, and have you laughing your butt off in the process. Bathroom etiquette expert and author Larry Glanz, a longtime traveling salesman in the nutritional products industry, has experienced more than his share of bathroom follies, committed by both hosts and guests alike. And indeed, as he hilariously shares in the Introduction of this book, he has also committed his own embarrassing acts, which he describes as some “real doozies”. Having seen the best and the worst of countless bathrooms over his many years on the road, he is determined to make better hosts and guests of us all. Glanz dispenses advice on everything from flushing to spraying the air to taking proper care of pets (or Pet-iquette) through clever and catchy rhymes and parodies. The Ultimate Book of Bathroom Etiquette and Humor features: • Hundreds of tidbits of advice conveyed in catchy, rhyming form • 60-plus full song parodies • Dozens of Commandments of Bathroom Etiquette •Oodles of Fartlett’s Unfamiliar Quotations • The exclusive, hilarious advice of the ancient bathroom philosopher Confuse-us ...and so much more to learn about, laugh at and sing to!!! Author Larry Glanz, who had previously earned a guest appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show to highlight his first book, “How to Start a Romantic Encounter”, believes that the timing is right for this book, as we can all use the laughs...not to mention clean, fragrant bathrooms. So pick up a copy for yourself, for family and friends, or for anyone who is liable to be a guest in your bathroom! You’ll thank us later.
Funny Bathroom Guest Book Do you know who's been in your bathroom? You will now! Enjoy the comments left behind from your guests (hopefully that's all they left) and provide some entertainment while sitting on the thrown.
"With universal appeal (everyone poops, after all), this witty, illustrated description of over two dozen dookies (each with a medical explanation written by a doctor) details what one can learn about health and well-being by studying what's in the bowl. A floater? It's probably due to a buildup of gas. Now think back on last night's dinner, a burrito perhaps? . . .All the greatest hits are here: The Log Jam, The Glass Shard, The Deja Poo, The Hanging Chad ... the list goes on. Sidebars, trivia, over 60 euphemisms for number 2, and unusual case histories all make this the ultimate bathroom reader. Who knew you could learn so much from your poo?"--Publisher website (October 2007)
It's drinks, it's chickens: It's the cocktail book you didn't know you needed! To add some extra happy to your happy hour , invite a chicken and pour yourself a drink. Author Kate Richards serves up cocktails made for Instagram with the spoils of her Southern California garden, chicken friends by her side. Enjoy any (or all) of the 60+ deliciously drinkable garden-to-glass beverages, such as: Lilac Apricot Rum Sour Meyer Lemon + Rosemary Old Fashioned Rhubarb Rose Cobbler Blackberry Sage Spritz Cantaloupe Mint Rum Punch Cocktails are arranged seasonally, and are 100% accessible for those of us without perpetually sunny backyard gardens at our disposal. Drinking with Chickens will quickly become a boozy favorite, perfect for gifting or for hoarding all for yourself. You don't need chickens to enjoy these drinks or the colorful photos, but be careful, because you may even find yourself aspiring to be, as Kate is, a home chixologist overrun by gorgeous, loud, early-rising egg-laying ladies, and in need of a very strong drink.
Instant New York Times Bestseller Longlisted for Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence 2020 New England Society Book Award Winner for Fiction “The Guest Book is monumental in a way that few novels dare attempt.” —The Washington Post The thought-provoking new novel by New York Times bestselling author Sarah Blake An exquisitely written, poignant family saga that illuminates the great divide, the gulf that separates the rich and poor, black and white, Protestant and Jew. Spanning three generations, The Guest Book deftly examines the life and legacy of one unforgettable family as they navigate the evolving social and political landscape from Crockett’s Island, their family retreat off the coast of Maine. Blake masterfully lays bare the memories and mistakes each generation makes while coming to terms with what it means to inherit the past.
A USA TODAY BESTSELLER! The cozy comedy of Joe Pera meets the darkly playful illustrations of Joe Bennett in A Bathroom Book for People Not Pooping or Peeing But Using the Bathroom as an Escape, a funny, warm, and sincere guide to regaining calm and confidence when you're hiding in the bathroom. “Nothing says ‘class’ to your dinner guests more than a Joe Pera book next to the can.” —Seth Meyers Joe Pera goes to the bathroom a lot. And his friend, Joe Bennett, does too. They both have small bladders but more often it’s just to get a moment of quiet, a break from work, or because it’s the only way they know how to politely end conversations. So they created a functional meditative guide to help people who suffer from social anxiety and deal with it in this very particular way. Although, it’s a comedic book, the goal is to help these readers: 1. Relax 2. Recharge 3. Rejoin the world outside of the bathroom It’s also fun entertainment for people simply hiding in the bathroom to avoid doing work. A Bathroom Book for People Not Pooping or Peeing But Using the Bathroom as an Escape will be waiting in the bathroom like a beacon for anxious readers looking to feel calm, confident, and less alone. “Nothing says ‘class’ to your dinner guests more than a Joe Pera book next to the can.” —Seth Meyers “A beautiful and funny book about something I have done all my life. Thank you, Mr. Joseph Pera.” —Aidy Bryant At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Chaos prevails when the barnyard animals decide to live in the house with Farmer Beanbuckets and his family.
Natalie's uplifting story of using the scientific process to "save" her mother from depression is what Booklist calls "a winning story full of heart and action." Eggs are breakable. Hope is not. When Natalie's science teacher suggests that she enter an egg drop competition, Natalie thinks that this might be the perfect solution to all of her problems. There's prize money, and if she and her friends wins, then she can fly her botanist mother to see the miraculous Cobalt Blue Orchids--flowers that survive against impossible odds. Natalie's mother has been suffering from depression, and Natalie is sure that the flowers' magic will inspire her mom to love life again. Which means it's time for Natalie's friends to step up and show her that talking about a problem is like taking a plant out of a dark cupboard and giving it light. With their help, Natalie begins an uplifting journey to discover the science of hope, love, and miracles. A vibrant, loving debut about the coming-of-age moment when kids realize that parents are people, too. Think THE FOURTEENTH GOLDFISH meets THE THING ABOUT JELLYFISH. NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY NPR * KIRKUS REVIEWS * THE CHICAGO PUBLIC LIBRARY * "Natalie's Korean heritage is sensitively explored, as is the central issue of depression." --Publishers Weekly "A compassionate glimpse of mental illness accessible to a broad audience." --Kirkus Reviews, STARRED REVIEW "Holy moly!!! This book made me feel." --Colby Sharp, editor of The Creativity Project, teacher, and cofounder of Nerdy Book Club
The immensely popular blogger behind Little House Living provides a timeless and “heartwarming guide to modern homesteading” (BookPage) that will inspire you to live your life simply and frugally—perfect for fans of The Pioneer Woman and The Hands-On Home. Shortly after getting married, Merissa Alink and her husband found themselves with nothing in their pantry but a package of spaghetti and some breadcrumbs. Their life had seemingly hit rock bottom, and it was only after a touching act of charity that they were able to get back on their feet again. Inspired by this gesture of kindness as well as the beloved Little House on the Prairie books, Merissa was determined to live an entirely made-from-scratch life, and as a result, she rescued her household budget—saving thousands of dollars a year. Now, she reveals the powerful and moving lessons she’s learned after years of homesteading, homemaking, and cooking from scratch. Filled with charm, practical advice, and gorgeous full-color photographs, Merissa shares everything from tips on budgeting to natural, easy-to-make recipes for taco seasoning mix, sunscreen, lemon poppy hand scrub, furniture polish, and much more. Inviting and charming, Little House Living is the epitome of heartland warmth and prairie inspiration.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Psychologist Alex Delaware and detective Milo Sturgis unravel a shocking crime at a raucous wedding reception in this gripping psychological thriller from the bestselling master of suspense. “Jonathan Kellerman’s psychology skills and dark imagination are a potent literary mix.”—Los Angeles Times LAPD Lieutenant Milo Sturgis is a fine homicide detective, but when he needs to get into the mind of a killer, he leans on the expertise of his best friend, the brilliant psychologist Dr. Alex Delaware. While Sturgis has a knack for piecing together the details of a crime, Delaware can decipher the darkest intents driving the most vicious of perpetrators. And there’s no better place for the doctor’s analytical skills to shine than a rowdy hall full of young men and women intoxicated on life and lust . . . and suddenly faced with the specter of death. Summoned to a run-down former strip joint, Delaware and Sturgis find themselves crashing a wild Saints and Sinners–themed wedding reception. But they’re not the only uninvited guests. A horrified bridesmaid has discovered the body of a young woman, dressed to impress in pricey haute couture and accessorized with a grisly red slash around her neck. What’s missing is any means of identification, or a single partygoer who recognizes the victim. The baffled bride is convinced the stranger snuck in to sabotage her big day—and the groom is sure it’s all a dreadful mistake. But Delaware and Sturgis have a hundred guests to question, and a sneaking suspicion that the motive for murder is personal. Now they must separate the sinners from the saints, the true from the false, and the secrets from those keeping them. The party’s over—and the hunt for whoever killed it is on. “As usual, [Delaware and Sturgis] form a formidable team. Also as usual, the characters here are varied and described with gritty clarity, and the puzzle facing the duo involves a delightful mix of L.A. culture, this time from its dive bars to its much more serious side.”—Booklist