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Many women expect to become mothers but are childless through social rather than biological reasons - perhaps they haven't met the right person or they prioritised career or education earlier in life. Featuring international interviews by grief counsellor and researcher Lois Tonkin, this collection of first-person stories provides insight into the under-discussed situation of being childless by circumstance. Each story highlights the different aspects of being childless by circumstance, as women move through their 30s, 40s, and 50s, and beyond their ages of fertility. The book explores feelings of grief and loss, and also how women adapt positively to their changed life expectations, finding excitement in the alternative, rich and complex shapes their lives have taken.
The absence of a child or loss of a pregnancy is a void and, frequently, a profound loss experienced as a failure, a lack, a shame, something that needs to be fixed or hidden, even when it is a choice. For the most part, there is no frame, no structure, no rituals, no celebration, no acknowledgment, often even no words. It has no name, no category. The pain, loneliness and awkwardness can be unimaginable until it happens to you.What if "not children" isn't really that unusual? What if the vast majority of women have had, are having, or will have some experience of what we call missed motherhood in their lifetime, whether or not they ever have children?Based on available statistics, it appears that is the case-that as many as 75% of women in America have had or will have one or more experiences of missed motherhood at some time in their lives through miscarriage, adoption, abortion, infertility or the choice to be childfree. This is a stunning percentage! If this is true, the experience of missed motherhood appears to be as common an experience as being a mother. As a society, we need to name and include missed motherhood as part of the cultural norm, to bring it out into the open and offer effective steps for grieving and healing that go beyond what each woman can accomplish on her own. When we do this, each of us can move forward in life with passion and enthusiasm.
An insatiable need for sex and love. Periods of overeating or starving. A pattern of unstable and painful relationships. Does this sound painfully familiar? Trauma counselor Kelly McDaniel has seen these traits over and over in clients who feel trapped in cycles of harmful behaviors-and are unable to stop. Many of us find ourselves stuck in unhealthy habits simply because we don't see a better way. With Mother Hunger, McDaniel helps women break the cycle of destructive behavior by taking a fresh look at childhood trauma and its lasting impact. In doing so, she destigmatizes the shame that comes with being under-mothered and misdiagnosed. McDaniel offers a healing path with powerful tools that include therapeutic interventions and lifestyle changes in service to healthy relationships. The constant search for mother love can be a lifelong emotional burden, but healing begins with knowing and naming what we are missing. McDaniel is the first clinician to identify Mother Hunger, which demystifies the search for love and provides the compass that each woman needs to end the struggle with achy, lonely emptiness, and come home to herself.
Previously published as Mum Face. Best described as The Wrong Knickers for mums, in this wry, resonant and darkly funny memoir, journalist Grace Timothy explores motherhood as an issue of identity.
This book looks at what it feels like to be an autistic parent, offering valuable insights, knowledge and wisdom on parenting autistic and non-autistic children. Three mothers reflect on their experiences of growing up as undiagnosed autistics, venturing into and embracing motherhood, and connecting with their children in a unique and powerful way. They offer advice on overcoming the challenges of parenting when you are autistic, such as socialising with other parents or sensory issues that come with excessive touch. Reflecting on their own experiences, they also emphasize the positives of being an autistic parent to an autistic child, such as understanding of why their child is struggling or the open-mindedness that can come from not being constrained by societal norms. They also explain how out-of-the-box thinking leads to creative parenting of non-autistic children, forming strong and loving bonds. Full of wit and warm advice, this book empowers autistic parents and reassures them that autism is a strength in raising their children with love, knowledge and experience, while also giving non-autistic parents and professionals a fresh perspective on helping autistic children to thrive.
Nearly 20% of all pregnancies in the U.S. end in miscarriage or stillbirth. Yet pregnancy loss is seldom acknowledged and rarely discussed. Opening the topic to a thoughtful and informed discussion, Linda Layne takes a historical look at pregnancy loss in America, reproductive technologies and the cultural responses surrounding miscarriage. Examining both support groups and the rituals they create to help couples through loss, her analysis offers valuable insight on how material culture contributes to conceptions of personhood. A fascinating examination, Motherhood Lost is also a provocative challenge to feminists and other activists to increase awareness and provide necessary support for this often hidden but critically important topic.
Mother Truths is a beautiful, funny, and raw collection of poetry about early motherhood. The perfect gift for expectant mothers and new mums.
The groundbreaking guide to self-healing and getting the love you missed “Years ago, I was on vacation and read The Emotionally Absent Mother. That book was one of many that woke me up. . . . I began the process of reparenting and it’s changed my life.”—Dr. Nicole LePera, New York Times–bestselling author of How to Do the Work Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships—or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can’t quite put a finger on what’s missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse—but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. In this second edition of her pioneering book, with compassion for mother and child alike, she explains: Possible reasons your mother was distracted or hurtful—and what she was unable to give The lasting impact of childhood emotional neglect and abuse How to find the child inside you and fill the “mother gap” through reflections and exercises How to secure a happier future for yourself (and perhaps for your children).
Are you an imperfect, trying-her-best mom? If you're over reading parenting advice, The Magic of Motherhood should be your next read. Motherhood can often feel overwhelming and isolating. Your feelings swing between joy and uncertainty, intense love and anxiety, laughter and tears. Ashlee Gadd and the writers behind the popular blog Coffee + Crumbs have written a beautiful reminder of your identity, both as a woman and a mother. The Magic of Motherhood is a curated collection of honest stories weaving together the love, joy, and magnificent heartache of motherhood. Instead of offering advice, the writers offer something even better: their hearts. You'll read essays about identity, adoption, body image, miscarriage, friendship, faith, and more. After reading, mothers will: Find joy in both beauty and mess Discover a renewed strength and sisterhood Be reassured that they are not alone Want to gift this book on Mother's Day, birthdays, baby showers, National Best Friend Day, and other holidays New and seasoned moms will enjoy The Magic of Motherhood. This book is a love letter to mothers everywhere. Essays from Ashlee Gadd of Coffee + Crumbs and its contributors will provide solidarity for all moms.
Discover the power, joy, and love of living a present, authentic, and intentional life despite a world full of distractions. If technology is the new addiction, then multitasking is the new marching order. We check our email while cooking dinner, send a text while bathing the kids, and spend more time looking into electronic screens than into the eyes of our loved ones. With our never-ending to-do lists and jam-packed schedules, it's no wonder we're distracted. But this isn't the way it has to be. Special education teacher, New York Times bestselling author, and mother Rachel Macy Stafford says enough is enough. Tired of losing track of what matters most in life, Rachel began practicing simple strategies that enabled her to momentarily let go of largely meaningless distractions and engage in meaningful soul-to-soul connections. Finding balance doesn't mean giving up all technology forever. And it doesn't mean forgoing our jobs and responsibilities. What it does mean is seizing the little moments that life offers us to engage in real and meaningful interaction. In these pages, Rachel guides you through how to: Acknowledge the cost of your distraction Make purposeful connection with your family Give your kids the gift of your undivided attention Silence your inner critic Let go of the guilt from past mistakes And move forward with compassion and gratefulness So join Rachel and go hands-free. Discover what happens when you choose to open your heart--and your hands--to the possibilities of each God-given moment.