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Peter Harrison is not a wizard. He’s just a regular guy, too broke and lazy to escape living in his uncle’s basement. It’s not exactly paradise. So when a case of mistaken identity leads to a white van coming totake him to wizarding school, he’s happy to be whisked away. He’s also pleased to discover that the teachers are all beautiful women, but when they take a sexual interest in Peter for no reason, his secret is dangerously close to being discovered. Plus, these wizards seem to have a dark secret, and getting kicked out of school will be the least of Peter’s worries if they find out he’s not a wizard. Motherfucking Wizards is an erotic mashup of explicit fucking and badass god damn sorcerers. What superauthor Leonard Delaney lacks in sexual experience, he makes up for in the magic of imagination. This novella is for awesome adults only.
Encourages you to move beyond your comfort zones in search of stories.
In the late seventeen hundreds and early eighteen hundreds, I was Beethovens prized pupil, can believe it. Unfortunately I had to quit him for reasons not concerning music. It was really quite silly. I was supposed to be protecting my good name. You see, it was rumored that the maestro, Beethoven, was a womanizer and while conducting orchestras he also conducted many affairs with his young female students. In those times, although mostly behind their backs, some men and even some women were referred to as libertines. Of course any man as emotional as Beethoven had to be romantically exotic but I didnt consider him a libertine; it was just that young women threw themselves at him and he used the opportunities. The saddest part was this remarkable man was almost deaf; in later years he became almost completely and totally deaf. Yet this man was such a genius, just by reading the written notes, he could hear the music inside his head. Often, he laid his hands on the piano as I played. At times, when I played, particularly when we were alone, after hed closed the piano, thus containing the sound, hed than lay his head down on the piano; by doing so, with his temple held tightly on the lid, it enabled him to hear it fully the way it was meant to be heard. This was done only prudently and only witnessed by certain people, as he was embarrassed and at first, not wanting to admit being deaf. No matter how much relief Id get by forgetting the music I never would forget it on purpose. That music is a part of me, more so than my arms and limbs even; the music is more part of me than my perceived beauty or my Immortality.
If you love the Wizard of Oz and also curse like a longshoreman, we'd like to introduce you to Arabella Grimsbro. Arabella Grimsbro is a 15-year-old girl with a mouth like a dock worker and an attitude to match. When she walks into Voyages Through Literature-a cheesy mall store promising virtual reality tours of public domain classics-the last thing she expects is to be whisked away to an actual magical world. To make things worse, this Oz is very different from the one she saw in a movie when she was little. Ferocious beasts with grizzly bear bodies and tiger heads? A town of creepy porcelain dolls? The Tin Woodsman lying broken and battered at the bottom of a ditch? Arabella will need more than surliness and silver slippers to find the answers at the end of this rainbow-or even just survive the trip. --- PLEASE NOTE --- This book has cursing, and lot's of it. Plot-wise, it's perfectly suitable for teens, but if harsh language is not your cup of tea, Arabella Grimsbro won't be either.
Straight from the virtual pages of oedipusmotherfuckingtyrannus.tumblr.com comes this second instalment of invective-laden mythology in offensively delicious bite-sized chunks. Throw away the swear jar as Dr. Lightslayer drags you kicking and screaming through the mythology of Greece, Rome, Japan, Britain and various other cultures.
Perhaps while reading Shakespeare you've asked yourself, What exactly is Hamlet trying to tell me? Why must he mince words and muse in lyricism and, in short, whack about the shrub? But if the Prince of Denmark had a Twitter account and an iPhone, he could tell his story in real time--and concisely! Hence the genius of Twitterature. Hatched in a dorm room at the brain trust that is the University of Chicago, Twitterature is a hilarious and irreverent re-imagining of the classics as a series of 140-character tweets from the protagonist. Providing a crash course in more than eighty of the world's best-known books, from Homer to Harry Potter, Virgil to Voltaire, Tolstoy to Twilight and Dante to The Da Vinci Code. It's the ultimate Cliffs Notes. Because as great as the classics are, who has time to read those big, long books anymore? Sample tweets: From Hamlet: WTF IS POLONIUS DOING BEHIND THE CURTAIN??? From the Harry Potter series: Oh man big tournament at my school this year!! PSYCHED! I hope nobody dies this year, and every year as if by clockwork. From The Great Gatsby: Gatsby is so emo. Who cries about his girlfriend while eating breakfast...IN THE POOL?
Laytham Ballard once protected humanity as part of the Nightwise, a secret order of modern-day mages dedicating to holding hellish supernatural forces at bay, but that was before a string of sadistic ritual murders shook everything he believed in—and sent him down a much darker path. One that has already cost him most of his soul, as well as everything he once held dear. Now a powerful faerie mob boss has hired Ballard to find his lost-lost daughter, who went missing several years ago. The long-cold trail leads him across the globe, from the luxurious playgrounds of the rich and famous to the seedy occult underbelly of Los Angeles, where creatures of myth and legend mingle with street gangs and sex clubs, and where Ballard finds his own guilty past waiting for him around every shadowy corner. To find Caern Ankou, he will have to confront old enemies, former friends and allies, and a grisly cold case that has haunted him for years. But is Caern still alive? And, perhaps more importantly, does she even want to be found? At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Ruth Devon starred for Georgetown Basketball back in college—until she injured her knee, married her coach, and found a new career calling games on the radio. Twenty years later, Ruth and her now-ex-husband, Lester, are two of the most famous faces in sports media. When Lester decides to retire from the announcers’ booth, Ruth goes after his job. If she gets it, she will be the first woman to call NBA games on national television. For now, Ruth is reporting from the sideline of the NBA finals, immersed in the high-pressure spectacle of the post-season. But in a deserted locker room at halftime, Ruth makes a discovery that shatters her vision of her future. Instantly, she is torn between the two things she has always wanted most: the game and motherhood. With warmth and incisive observation, Adrian brings to life the obsessions, emotions, and drama of fandom. The Second Season asks why, how, and whom we watch, while offering a rich and complicated account of motherhood, marriage, and ambition. Adrian’s character study of Ruth Devon illuminates a beautiful basketball mind—and the struggle of a woman who claims authority in a male-dominated world.
When the Devil needs a rogue demon killed, who does he call? The Player: Necromance-for-hire Dante Valentine is choosy about her jobs. Hot tempered and with nerves of steel, she can raise the dead like nobody's business. But one rainy Monday morning, everything goes straight to hell. The Score: The Devil hires Dante to eliminate a rogue demon: Vardimal Santino. In return, he will let her live. It's an offer she can't refuse. The Catch: How do you kill something that can't die?
Leonard Delaney's Digital Desires Inbox contains three stories of close encounters with technology. The words in this collection are powerfully erotic, and for super mature audiences only. Taken by the Tetris Blocks When blocks started falling from the sky, Christie Aackerlund welcomed the excitement. Now she's having a bad day at work, and craving some fun and games. Luckily, she runs into some Russian blocks that are looking to score. Soon, she'll be the one falling ... in lust. Conquered by Clippy Christie Aackerlund doesn't need help with anything. So when the world's biggest technology company offers to fly her to a remote location and investigate an alien artifact, all by herself, she's all like "I'll do it!" But the artifact isn't what it seems, and soon an overly helpful giant living paperclip is getting her all bent out of shape. Invaded by the iWatch Christie Aackerlund loves technology, so she is happy to try out a smartwatch prototype that mysteriously arrives at her door. When she asks the watch how it can make her less lonely, she has no idea how many sensual features are packed into the tiny device. Discover how a forbidden sexual romance between a woman and a watch is possible. Cry out in joy at guest appearances from your favourite technology personalities. Squirm at a twist ending to the Digital Desires trilogy that will leave you uncomfortably aroused. Exclusive to This Set: The Digital Desires Study Guide A set of questions for educators and Delaney scholars to provoke discussion with and dig deeper into the Digital Desires universe.