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This guy walks into a bar ... No no! Have you heard the one about ... Oh, how did it go? There was this blonde who ... Hmm. Do you ever wish you could remember all the gags and one-liners you've heard over the years and become the envy of all your friends and colleagues? Well, wish no more. Hot on the heels of the hugely successful Aussie Gags, John Blackman presents another hilarious collection of the funniest jokes and one-liners Australia has to offer. No stone is left unturned – whether it be lawyers, religion, blondes, mothers-in-law or Viagra, Blackman has a gag for every occasion.
"My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep. Which is more than I can say for the three passengers he had in his car at the time." At school, John Blackman was voted the student most likely to recede. Despite this, he has emerged as one of our best-loved funny men. Now the master of the microphone on TV's 'Hey Hey It's Saturday', the voice behind the hat that is Dickie Knee, the king of the backhanders has compiled over 1400 of his all-time favourite one-liners and jokes. "It was so cold today, I saw a politician with his hand in his own pocket." Following the side-splitting success of his previous books Don't Come the Raw Prawn! and The Best of Aussie Slang, John has become the undisputed master of Aussie lingo. Now he takes on his biggest challenge to date: to plumb the depths of the Aussie sense of humour! "I have a lot of trouble sleeping. Sometimes I toss and turn at my desk all day." Ever wished you could come up with an unforgettable one-liner at a crucial moment? Or be known as the king or queen of jokes? This is the definitive book of jokes from all over the world that make Aussies laugh.
If you don't buy this book you're one chop short of a barbecue! Is your knowledge of Aussie slang sadly lacking? Are you feeling like a bandicoot on a burnt ridge, and running around like a blue-arsed fly? If so, don't chuck a wobbly, simply take a squiz at John Blackman's Best of Aussie Slang and she'll be apples! This latest literary triumph from John Blackman is the ultimate guide to the lingo of Down Under. Known to millions of Australians as the voice of Hey Hey It's Saturday and the alter ego of Dickie Knee, Blackman defines all the great slang and phrases that confront everyone, every day, all around Australia. So take a Captain Cook at this little beauty, impress the world with your grasp of the Aussie vernacular and find a special place for this masterpiece in your home – preferably one that doesn't flush!
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with sheep? A woolly jumper! Mitchell Johnson, Australian cricketer Why did the cockatoo sit on the clock? So he would be on time! Kate Ritchie, actor What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick! Jeremy Lindsay Taylor, actor, Sea Patrol With 362 more hilarious jokes inside, this is a book that will keep you and the kids laughing for hours! Publicity will again be extensive; with a focus on radio, national newspapers, news, children's print media, online and more. This phenomenal fun-raiser will continue to sky-rocket!
This book is to the joke what a telephone directory is to the phone number. No taxi has been left unturned, no dunny wall unread, no pub unvisited in rounding up these funnies. The result is a naughtier, even more notorious volume than the bestselling Penguin Book of Australian Jokes. Of course, you should be reading serious fiction or uplifting works of theology - but if you don't mind feeling thoroughly ashamed of yourself, this is the book for you.
"Brilliant", "Arguably the most important work in its field", "A literary masterpiece" ... just a few of the accolades critics didn't shower on John Blackman's first book, The Aussie Slang Dictionary. Despite this, it became a smash-hit success. Don't Come the Raw Prawn! is the side-splitting, risque sequel of words and phrases so dear to the Australian heart. Blackman, the multimedia personality best known as the voice of 'Hey Hey It's Saturday' (and the brains behind the rascally Dickie Knee) is now more than ever convinced of the world's insatiable desire to learn more about the lingo of the Land Down Under – so ... Stop alecking around and don't be a bunny ... this latest book is a lot more useful than a glass door on a dunny. You'd have to be one sandwich short of a picnic or have death adders in your pocket not to pull out the Oscar and take a geek at a book that's as funny as a hatful. Don't be a grape on the business, or a half-back flanker; when it comes to Aussie phrases, this book's fuller than a seaside dunny on Boxing Day. Starve the lizards, it's London to a brick that you'll be cracking yourself when you find out what getting off at Redfern means. Books like this are as rare as rocking horse poop and it's no good arguing the toss about that. Stone the crows, have a fair suck of the sav!
Popular YouTubers the Labrant Fam share their inspiring love story of how Savannah, a young, single mom, fell in love with Cole, a 19-year-old from Alabama, highlighting the redemptive, surprising nature of God at work in our lives. The Labrant Fam—Cole, Savannah, and their daughter, Everleigh—have laughed, pranked, and danced their way into the hearts of millions of viewers. But by all accounts, Cole and Savannah shouldn’t have met each other—let alone fallen in love. Sav was a 23-year-old from Southern California who had grown up with the pain of her parents’ broken marriage. As a single mother with a history of unhealthy relationships, she had all but given up on a happily ever after. Cole was a 19-year-old from a small town in Alabama who had never dated seriously but held high hopes for marriage. Cole was slowly learning how to trust life's twists and turns. Then, through a surprise encounter, their lives changed forever. In this heartwarming memoir, you’ll discover: The heartbreak Savannah faced as a young, single mom before she met Cole Their individual stories growing up Savannah’s pregnancy at 19 and how she found fame on social media How they met and fell in love With their signature charming and engaging style, Cole and Sav take you behind the camera and open up about past heartaches and mistakes; painful secrets and difficult expectations; the joys and challenges of raising their daughter, Everleigh; and the spiritual journey that changed their hearts—and relationship—forever.
A collection of Australian loos with great views
Rejacket of this hilarious title from the hugely popular Selby series. From the only talking dog in Australia, and perhaps the world, comes a rip-snorting, rib-tickling collection of good-time gags, jokes, riddles and funny sayings guaranteed to send you into peels of laughter! With help from Gary Gaggs and a few other favourite characters, Selby focuses on his witty side, letting his ears flop in the wind and howling to the moon like never before. Superbly illustrated by legendary doggy doodler Allan Stomann, Selby's Joke Book is the ideal gift for the Selby devotee and the perfect companion to this highly successful and popular series of books. Ages 7-12+
Fall in love with Rob Elliott’s #1 bestselling Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids as it gets more heartwarming than ever! A laugh-a-minute joke book for kids 5 to 10, including anyone looking for a boredom buster when home from school. Q: What do bad guys give on February 14th? A: Villain-tines. Kids are sure to love this bouquet of Valentine’s Day-themed jokes, puns, and zingers that are perfect for the whole family. Perfect for young comedians, class clowns, and jokesters of all ages! Rob Elliott’s bestselling Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids series has sold more than 5 million copies!