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How did Jason defeat the dreaded farting Harpies? Was Hercules's hair really that great, really? And why did Perseus love fish milkshakes so much?It's fractured fairy tales meets Homer in this hysterical collection of rollicking classic tales aimed squarely at 7 to 13 year olds who like to laugh, and laugh a lot. You might even become an Ancient Greek Expert along the way!With giants, magic, monsters (including Medusa, Cyclops and the Minotaur), adventure, comedy, jokes, silliness and everything that appeals to 7 to 13 year olds, this funny fast paced, comical retelling of the classic myths is a book kids will love to read and read again.
Get this: Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.
A laugh-out-loud funny graphic novel "for fans of either comic books or Percy Jackson, or both.”—School Library Journal From Hercules' snake assassin slippers to Arachne's wicked weaver rap songs, these are the mythic monsters and Hellenic heroes that have captured Western culture for centuries--but a whole lot more fun. Each story showcases the wondrous and blunderful antics of gods and mortals in bright graphics that rival the super-heroic action of The Lightning Thief, burst with the knock-yoursocks- off humor of Jeff Kinney, and still remain unerringly faithful to the original myth. Kids won't be able to resist the bickering sheep, unruly rulers, and undercover details of Amazing Greek Myths--while teachers, librarians, and parents can relish this new way to share moral messages that remain as relevant today as they were a thousand years ago.
Sit Back & Enjoy Classic Myths of Imagination, Fun & Adventure For Kids! Imagine, for thousands of years people have been telling each other stories…, Eventually, someone decided it’s such an AMAZING story that they should write it down. Those are the myths we have today! They are the greatest stories ever written. Mythology is the rich collection of stories called myths from cultures all over the world. They are stories about how the world was created and why certain things happen. Myths tell of gods, heroes, and events that a group believes, or at one time believed, to be real. Studying them is like following a map of the human imagination. These mythological stories are perfect to introduce your children of all ages. It will help them to develop strong reading skills It will introduce them to positive character traits It will teach them about culture & history It will unlock their imagination and much more, At History Brought Alive we have a passion for everything from the past. The books we write are full of fun facts and even more fun stories that will make you think about the past and our ancestors in new and exciting ways. In this book you will discover: Where Myths Come From Myths From Ancient Egyptian, Greek, Rome, Norse, Celtic & More How Thor, of Marvel Fame Got His Hammer Moral Stories Including, The Shepherd Boy & The Wolf Rome - Beginnings of The World's First Superpower Mysteries & Secrets Surrounding The Egyptian Pyramids And much, much more…. Enter into a world of Mythology for Kids with This Book.
Every culture and time has its myths. You might say that myths help us to understand people, since just like people they can be inspirational and beautiful, as well as cruel and violent. The main players in mythology are the original drama kings and queens — they hang themselves in shame, poke out their own eyes, rule cities, and marry their relatives — and the fun doesn’t stop there! If you want all the scoop on gods and goddesses, fates and furies, monsters and heroes from around the world, Mythology for Dummies is the Who’s Who of mythological figures that you can’t do without. It’s no secret that mythology can be confusing for anyone. From cultural hero Johnny Appleseed, to manly Odysseus, to femme fatale Aphrodite, and those pesky Cyclops running amuck on that faraway island, Mythology for Dummies covers all the bases, including information on: Greek mythology Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey Roman mythology Virgil’s Aeneid Beowulf Non-European mythology Also, this book will get you up to speed on the heavy stuff—like how mythology intersects with our lives, and explores the meaning of existence. Organized into chapters on specific topics, it breaks down the common types of myths and mythological figures, and offers plain-English explanations of how myths have appeared in cultures throughout the ages. You’ll find what you need to know on these topics and many more: What makes myths different from legends and fairy tales Greek creation myths and those really ancient Greek Gods The Olympian Gods (taller, younger, and better looking than you) The Greek goddesses (the fairest and the meanest of them all) Heroes — made, born, and re-born Mythological places from Elysium Fields, to Atlantis, and Xanadu Roman religion — how it was begged, borrowed, and stolen You’ll also enjoy helpful features like charts comparing major figures, and a tear-out tip-sheet with a timeline of world civilizations. Whether you want to dabble in the wonders of mythology or get serious, Mythology for Dummies will demystify the subject, and show you how important myths can be to a culture. You’ll never say, “It’s only a myth” again!
Reveals how key myths of the world present timeless truths that enrich our understanding of the world and the role humans play today.