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Drawing upon interviews with adults married to a partner of a different class background, The Power of the Past reveals the intimate connections between love and class and how enduring class attributes shape who they love and how their marriage unfolds.
What separates happy marriages from miserable ones? Surprisingly, it’s not healthy communication. It’s not conflict resolution skills. It’s actually the size of the marriage’s joy gap . Joy Gap/joi gap/ (n.)-1. The length of time between moments of shared joy When the joy gap gets bigger, problems are more likely to overwhelm you, resentment creeps in, and you start to feel distant and alone in your marriage. When the joy gap is smaller, you regularly feel connected and happy, problems feel manageable, and your marriage becomes a reliable source of joy. But how do you ensure that you’re experiencing joy regularly? Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey have studied relationships (and neuroscience) and discovered four habits that keep joy regular and problems small. Some couples do them naturally, but anyone can learn. That’s why each chapter includes 15-minute exercises that boost joy and re-train your brain to make joy your default setting. You’ll learn new skills including how to: return to joy more quickly after disconnection create stronger bonds and elongate times of happiness boost your enjoyment of physical and emotional intimacy Find out what your marriage looks like after a little work and a whole lot of joy.
“After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now...”—Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages—from the “traditional” to the utterly nontraditional—and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try “lovehacks.” This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.
A Marriage of Any Length Is Many Marriages By: Ed Bassford A Marriage of Any Length Is Many Marriages reflects on marriages, indeed lives, which are a matter of loving and trying.
“Where does ‘highly happy’ come from—and can we have some too?!” Have you ever looked at a blissfully married couple and thought, I wish I could know their secret? Now you can. After years of investigative research, Shaunti reveals twelve powerful habits that the happiest marriages have in common. Best news of all? Anyone can learn the secrets of a highly happy marriage! In The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, Shaunti Feldhahn shares her findings about little, very unexpected, often overlooked actions that make a huge difference. You’re about to discover that highly happy couples: • Go to bed mad • Keep score (just not in the way you think) • Boss their feelings around • Have factual fantasies • Get in over their heads • Don’t tell it like it is • Don’t look to marriage to make them happy… Packed with eye-opening research and practical helps, this book delivers relationship insights that will take your marriage from “just fine” to “just the marriage we’ve always wanted.”
Therapists Linda and Charlie Bloom have been married more than 35 years. To understand what makes a happy marriage, they interviewed 29 couples who have been married more than 20 years, who seem as happy as newlyweds--and share their findings.
WHAT DO EXCEPTIONAL COUPLES KNOW THAT OTHERS DON’T? If roughly fifty percent of marriages fail, what about the other fifty percent—the ones that “succeed”? Are those couples who stay together necessarily happy? No, not necessarily. In fact, many marriages that remain intact are far less than ideal. A mere seven percent are really good—in fact, exceptional. These couples have much greater than average passion, happiness, longevity, and fulfillment. And the good news is, luck has nothing to do with it. But if less-than-exceptional marriages are made up of men who are supposedly from Mars and women who are supposedly from Venus, what planet do exceptional husbands and wives come from? What are the secrets of exceptional couples . . . and what can they teach us? Marriage therapist Gregory K. Popcak believes that ways of relating employed by exceptional couples can benefit all marriages. In The Exceptional Seven Percent, he looks at the most successful couples and exposes their secrets. Each chapter examines in detail the basic characteristics of exceptional couples, including: · Developing a marital imperative—the key to unlocking all the other Exceptional Couple qualities · Setting and achieving emotional goals · Cultivating exceptional levels of fidelity, loving, service, rapport, negotiation, gratitude, joy, and sexuality Through anecdotes, analyses, exercises, quizzes, and guidance that is consistently supported by marriage research, you’ll learn what your weaknesses are and how you can begin to make positive changes. You have the power to turn your marriage into the most precious thing in your life. Why settle for anything less?
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.
Describes what marriage should be according to the Bible, arguing that marriage is a tool to bring individuals closer to God, and provides meaningful instruction on how to have a successful marriage.
Just when the clamor over "traditional" marriage couldn’t get any louder, along comes this groundbreaking book to ask, "What tradition?" In Marriage, a History, historian and marriage expert Stephanie Coontz takes readers from the marital intrigues of ancient Babylon to the torments of Victorian lovers to demonstrate how recent the idea of marrying for love is—and how absurd it would have seemed to most of our ancestors. It was when marriage moved into the emotional sphere in the nineteenth century, she argues, that it suffered as an institution just as it began to thrive as a personal relationship. This enlightening and hugely entertaining book brings intelligence, perspective, and wit to today’s marital debate.