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Many adopted or foster children have complex, troubling, often painful pasts. This book provides parents and professionals with sound advice on how to communicate effectively about difficult and sensitive topics, providing concrete strategies for helping adopted and foster children make sense of the past so they can enjoy a healthy, well-adjusted future. Approximately one of every four adopted children will have adjustment challenges related to their separation from the birth family, earlier trauma, attachment difficulties, and/or issues stemming from the adoption process. Common complicating issues of adopted children are feelings of rejection, abandonment, or confusion about their origins. While many foster and adoptive parents and even many professionals are reluctant to communicate openly about birth histories, silence only adds to the child's confusion and pain. This revised and significantly expanded edition of the award-winning Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child equips parents with the knowledge and tools they need to communicate with their adopted or foster child about their past. Revisions include coverage of significant new research and information regarding the importance of understanding the child's trauma history to his or her well-being and successful adjustment in his foster or adoptive family. The authors answer such questions as: How do I share difficult information about my child's adoption in a sensitive manner? When is the right time to tell my child the whole truth? How do I obtain more information on my child's history? Detailed descriptions of actual cases help the parent or caregiver find ways to discover the truth (particularly in closed and international adoption cases), organize the information, and explain the details of the past gently to a toddler, child, or young adult who may find it frightening or confusing.
There are great rewards that come along with being a foster parent, yet there are also great challenges that can leave you feeling depleted, alone, and discouraged. The many burdens of a foster parent's day--hurting children, struggling biological parents, and a broken system--are only compounded by the many burdens of a foster parent's heart--confusion, anxiety, heartache, anger, and fear. With the compassion and insight of a fellow foster parent, Jamie C. Finn helps you see your struggles through the lens of the gospel, bringing biblical truths to bear on your unique everyday realities. In these short, easy-to-read chapters, you'll find honest, personal stories and practical lessons that provide encouragement and direction from God's Word as you walk the journey of foster parenting.
"I'm excited to be a sister in our foster family, but I'm worried about new rules. I feel happy and sad at the same time. What about when our help isn't needed anymore?" It's Okay to Wonder is a story about Avery, a loquacious girl whose parents have decided to become foster parents. While Mom and Dad attend another foster training class, Avery shares with her Nana and Pop about her mixed-up feelings. She and her grandparents learn together what it might be like to become a foster family--that it's okay to feel two emotions at the same time and that it's okay to wonder! The Joy of Avery series offers resources for foster care families and brings the world of foster care to life by exploring Avery's feelings as her family welcomes foster children into their home. It's Okay to Wonder is the first book in the series.
Will I live with my parents again? Will I stay with my foster parents forever? For children in foster care, the answer to many questions is often "maybe." Maybe Days addresses the questions, feelings, and concerns these children most often face. Honest and reassuring, it also provides basic information that children want and need to know, including the roles of various people in the foster care system and whom to ask for help. An extensive afterword for adults caring for foster children describes the child's experience, underscores the importance of open communication, and outlines a variety of ways to help children adjust to the "maybe days"—and to thrive. From the Note to Foster Parents and Other Adults: The enormity of adjustment that children in foster care are asked to make is hard to over-state. Children in foster care may experience and express a range of feelings, many of which may emerge during the reading of this book. Multiple feelings may occur at the same time and may include: Relief and a sense of safety Happiness and a sense of enjoyment Sadness Anger Fear or worry Confusion Guilt Shame Loneliness Sense of loss ​Some children respond well to verbal discussion about their feelings....Keep in mind that asking questions and encouraging activities can be useful for some children, but it is not always necessary and is never a substitute for simply listening.
“Kids are important… They need safe places to live, and safe places to play.” For some kids, this means living with foster parents. In simple words and full-color illustrations, this book explains why some kids move to foster homes, what foster parents do, and ways kids might feel during foster care. Children often believe that they are in foster care because they are “bad.” This book makes it clear that the troubles in their lives are not their fault; the message throughout is one of hope and support. Includes resources and information for parents, foster parents, social workers, counselors, and teachers.
NEW YORK TIMES EDITORS’ CHOICE • “A powerful, heartbreaking, necessary masterpiece.”—Cheryl Strayed, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Wild The moving story of what one woman learned from fostering a newborn—about injustice, about making mistakes, about how to better love and protect people beyond our immediate kin May you always feel at home. After their decision not to have a biological child, Sarah Sentilles and her husband, Eric, decide to adopt via the foster care system. Despite knowing that the system’s goal is the child’s reunification with the birth family, Sarah opens their home to a flurry of social workers who question them, evaluate them, and ultimately prepare them to welcome a child into their lives—even if it means most likely having to give the child back. After years of starts and stops, and endless navigation of the complexities and injustices of the foster care system, a phone call finally comes: a three-day-old baby girl named Coco, in immediate need of a foster family. Sarah and Eric bring this newborn stranger home. “You were never ours,” Sarah tells Coco, “yet we belong to each other.” A love letter to Coco and to the countless children like her, Stranger Care chronicles Sarah’s discovery of what it means to mother—in this case, not just a vulnerable infant but the birth mother who loves her, too. Ultimately, Coco’s story reminds us that we depend on family, and that family can take different forms. With prose that Nick Flynn has called “fearless, stirring, rhythmic,” Sentilles lays bare an intimate, powerful story with universal concerns: How can we care for and protect one another? How do we ensure a more hopeful future for life on this planet? And if we’re all related—tree, bird, star, person—how might we better live?
This work provides a deeper understanding of how the adoption process works and supports children with the feelings they have about adoption. Mental health interventions provided.
Understanding Looked After Children is an accessible guide to understanding the mental health needs of children in foster care and the role of foster carers and support networks in helping these children. The authors provide foster carers with an insight into the psychological issues experienced by children in the care system, and the impact of these issues on the foster family. Chapters cover cultural, social and legal structures associated with foster care and both the relevant child psychology theory and examples drawn from real-life situations. The authors give advice on how to address common psychological issues in collaboration with multi-agency professionals, as well as how to access to statutory services. They also explain the possible impact of assessments on foster children and the causes and management of foster carers' own feelings of frustration, anger or disappointment with social and mental health services or the placement itself. Chapters are complemented by case studies, and the book includes a helpful glossary to common terminology. Understanding Looked After Children is essential reading for registered foster carers and those considering fostering, as well as adoptive parents, and a useful reference for trainee and experienced practitioners in the care system, including social workers, psychologists, counsellors, teachers and others looking after vulnerable children.
Foster Care Law: A Primer introduces social work professionals and attorneys to the most significant and typical legal problems that may arise from the moment a neglected or abused child enters the foster care system to the child's exit from it. The authors look at law through the eyes of the main participants -- the foster child, the foster parents, biological parents, public foster care agencies, private foster care agencies, and the courts -- and describe the legal relationships that each has to the other. In explaining the problems most likely to occur, they note the legal authorities that must be consulted and ways that courts and legislatures have resolved the issues. The book presents numerous aids to help social work professionals cope with the legal milieu: a glossary of legal terms; an appendix describing how to find cases, law journals, and legislative material; and a flow chart describing the legal life of a foster care case. Moreover, the text provides reader-friendly descriptions of the legal context. Lawyers will welcome explanations of the intricate legal relationships between such entities as public foster care agencies, their private contractors who provide foster homes, federal funding agencies, and the courts. A pertinent selected bibliography and an appendix dedicated to liability issues will give any lawyer a running start to resolve a particular foster care case. This ground-breaking book gives an overview of this complex field because each state has its own practices, laws, and local rules that govern both foster care systems and court process. The authors have untangled this confusing web, and shown the patterns that prevail overall. The book will work for anyone trying to make sense of the foster care system, in any state. "This book does what few child advocacy books do. It deftly communicates real-life practice, policy and law to front line social workers without sounding like a training manual. It is a book that should truly help us lawyers and social workers do our jobs better." -- Prof. Daniel Pollack, JD, MSW, Wurzweiler School of Social Work, Yeshiva University