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In this groundbreaking new work, David Kessler—an expert on grief and the coauthor with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross of the iconic On Grief and Grieving—journeys beyond the classic five stages to discover a sixth stage: meaning. In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler Ross first identified the stages of dying in her transformative book On Death and Dying. Decades later, she and David Kessler wrote the classic On Grief and Grieving, introducing the stages of grief with the same transformative pragmatism and compassion. Now, based on hard-earned personal experiences, as well as knowledge and wisdom earned through decades of work with the grieving, Kessler introduces a critical sixth stage. Many people look for “closure” after a loss. Kessler argues that it’s finding meaning beyond the stages of grief most of us are familiar with—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—that can transform grief into a more peaceful and hopeful experience. In this book, Kessler gives readers a roadmap to remembering those who have died with more love than pain; he shows us how to move forward in a way that honors our loved ones. Kessler’s insight is both professional and intensely personal. His journey with grief began when, as a child, he witnessed a mass shooting at the same time his mother was dying. For most of his life, Kessler taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about end of life, trauma, and grief, as well as leading talks and retreats for those experiencing grief. Despite his knowledge, his life was upended by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son. How does the grief expert handle such a tragic loss? He knew he had to find a way through this unexpected, devastating loss, a way that would honor his son. That, ultimately, was the sixth state of grief—meaning. In Finding Meaning, Kessler shares the insights, collective wisdom, and powerful tools that will help those experiencing loss. Finding Meaning is a necessary addition to grief literature and a vital guide to healing from tremendous loss. This is an inspiring, deeply intelligent must-read for anyone looking to journey away from suffering, through loss, and towards meaning.
Some losses are so subtle they go unnoticed, some so overwhelming and cruel they seem unbearable. Coping with grief and experiencing loss overwhelms us in ways that seem both hopeless and endless. In painful moments like these, we must make a choice: Will we allow the difficulties we face to become forces of destruction in our lives, or will we find a way to begin learning from loss, transforming our suffering into a source of strength? A theologian with the heart of a poet, Rabbi David Wolpe explores the meaning of loss, and the way we can use its inevitable appearance in our lives as a source of strength rather than a source of despair. In this national bestseller, Wolpe creates a remarkably fluid account of how we might find a way out of overwhelming feelings of helplessness and instead begin understanding grief in all its forms and learn to create meaning in difficult times.
A prominent theme presented in this volume is that symptoms in the bereaved individual have meaning-making significance and that meaning reconstruction in response to loss is the central process in grieving. More scientifically oriented readers will find comprehensive discussions of research programs supporting these tenets, particularly those linking grief with responses to loss involved in trauma. Practitioners will find clinically informed models and ample case descriptions to bridge concepts with real people suffering real loss. All will find new paradigms for approaching loss and reconstruction of meaning in a respectful, revealing way that has significance both personally and professionally. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2004 APA, all rights reserved).
How to release anger and reconnect to yourself using mindfulness techniques. Anger is one the most common human emotions, so if you’re not feeling it, then you’re probably unconsciously burying it. But anger that is buried isn’t actually gone. In fact, hidden or covert anger may be just as damaging as the overt, outwardly destructive kind, only it wreaks havoc from the inside-out. All sorts of physical and emotional problems can stem from suppressed anger: headaches, digestive problems, insomnia, just to name a few. Buried anger is expressed in a continuum, with rage and aggression at the top, and frustration, annoyance, irritation at the bottom, and everything in between. Unless this anger is addressed, it is impossible to overcome. This book urges readers to practice mindfulness-deliberately allowing physical sensations and emotions to surface so they can be examined and released. This sort of processing of anger-fully felt in the body as it happens, moved out through appropriate expression, and let go-will allow readers to process anger before it becomes unhealthy. Whether for you or your clients, this book offers simple tools of mindfulness to strengthen your connection with your inner world and learn to explore your anger, paying heed to the important messages it is sending.
The use of the arts in psychotherapy is a burgeoning area of interest, particularly in the field of bereavement, where it is a staple intervention in hospice programs, children’s grief camps, specialized programs for trauma or combat exposure, work with bereaved parents, widowed elders or suicide survivors, and in many other contexts. But how should clinicians differentiate between the many different approaches and techniques, and what criteria should they use to decide which technique to use—and when? Grief and the Expressive Arts provides the answers using a crisp, coherent structure that creates a conceptual and relational scaffold for an artistically inclined grief therapy. Each of the book’s brief chapters is accessible and clearly focused, conveying concrete methods and anchoring them in brief case studies, across a range of approaches featuring music, creative writing, visual arts, dance and movement, theatre and performance and multi-modal practices. Any clinician—expressive arts therapist, grief counselor, or something in between—looking for a professionally oriented but scientifically informed book for guidance and inspiration need look no further than Grief and the Expressive Arts.
The journey through a significant loss in your life such as the death of a loved one, a special relationship or ailing health is something that no one is truly ever prepared for. Your life is forever changed in that moment. The meaning is lost and it's hard to know how to continue moving forward. This book shares the author's stories of her loss of her baby, going through a divorce, experiencing a debilitating illness and how she guided her teenage daughter through the tragic death of her best friend. She has been writing her thoughts, her emotions and what she has learned from all of her losses since her baby died and has now combined all of it in this book. The insights, teachings and lessons that are shared will provide you with reassurance that what you are feeling and experiencing in your grieving process is normal, how to begin to create meaning in your life once again and provide you with hope for your future. The grieving process, the experience of the void and the choice to live fully once again takes a willingness to accept what is, surrender and release the grief and a decision to move forward and rise.
Combining the science of emotional trauma with concrete psychological techniques— including dream interpretation, journaling, mindfulness exercises, and meditation—Shulman's frank and empathetic account will help readers regain their emotional balance by navigating the passage from profound sorrow to healing and growth.
Making Meaning of Loss: Change and Challenge Across the Lifespan is about how change brings loss to our lives, how we make meaning of loss, and how our experience with loss directs our encounters with loss in the future. Each loss challenges us in this way: to rethink our world view, to ask who we have become, and to reinvent ourselves anew. Taking a lifespan approach, Hayes examines how we make sense of the losses that change brings in each period of our lives and how the way in which we meet the challenge that each loss brings directs our encounters with loss in the future. In addition, he provides suggestions for how earlier losses can become fruitful allies in encounters with change in the present and how caregivers can help others to make meaning of the loss in their lives. Above all, this book is about how caregivers can help others learn from the losses in their lives and to recognize what part of the past to bring along into the present in constructing a more reliable self for meeting the challenges of an uncertain future.
This book is not about one story of loss or one grief therapy approach. This book contains exactly what grieving couples have asked for: what they wanted to know in exactly your situation; what they have mentioned and pointed out they would need or would have needed in that horrendous time of loss. Books written by bereaved parents often follow the formula: "My life was beautiful, then my child or baby died and then my life was never the same again. I had to write a book about it." These books are usually self-therapy, rather than a way to help others. Books by therapists often talk about their work from a theoretical basis that lacks personal experience. They discuss people who experience complicated or chronic grief as opposed to encouraging the resilience that lies within each and every one of us. I have experienced the loss of a child and I am a grief therapist, but this book is not a memoir about my loss. Neither is it just a book written from the perspective of a therapist having worked with countless clients experiencing loss. This book focuses on the effect parental bereavement has on the parents and their relationship. It is about surviving loss as a couple and the re-emerging from grief into a life of joy and melancholy, laughter and tears, happiness and sadness. Not either/or but BOTH/AND. This book will, teach you understanding and acceptance of the grieving process each and everyone chooses. In a relationship, each partner is equally responsible to take part in sailing the ship together. Surviving Loss as a Couple is about how you can re-emerge from this crazy ride through the darkness of grief with renewed depth and understanding with your partner. This book is based on bereaved parents' needs, challenges and what they said has helped them, based on a worldwide survey I have conducted. It contains detailed descriptions of what has helped eighteen individuals and couples that I have interviewed, couples in varying situations and at different stages of their journey with grief.
Ten years after the death of Elisabeth K bler-Ross, this commemorative edition of her final book combines practical wisdom, case studies, and the authors' own experiences and spiritual insight to explain how the process of grieving helps us live with loss. Includes a new introduction and resources section. Elisabeth K bler-Ross's On Death and Dying changed the way we talk about the end of life. Before her own death in 2004, she and David Kessler completed On Grief and Grieving, which looks at the way we experience the process of grief. Just as On Death and Dying taught us the five stages of death--denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance--On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the grieving process and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, including sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, isolation, and healing. This is "a fitting finale and tribute to the acknowledged expert on end-of-life matters" (Good Housekeeping).