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Are you feeling exasperated and helpless about your family member's addiction? Are you at your wit's end, having tried everything you can think of to make them stop? If someone you love is engaging in addictive behaviors such as alcohol and drug misuse, eating disorders, smoking, gambling, Internet addiction, sex addiction, compulsive overspending, or relationship addiction, you are undoubtedly experiencing unpredictability in your relationship. Some of the most common emotions you will experience include: - Guilt and shame - Anger and anxiety - Confusion and powerlessness Whether the addict in your life is your spouse, partner, parent, child, friend, or colleague, the key to changing this reality for yourself lies in shifting your focus from your loved one's addiction to you own self-care. This book presents a dramatically fresh approach to help you get off the roller-coaster chaos of addiction, maintain your own sanity and serenity, and live your best life.
It's okay to love them. It's your right to help them. Addiction destroys people and can even end lives. When you know or suspect that someone you love is suffering from addiction you have two goals: getting your loved one into treatment and turning that treatment into full-fledged sobriety. Many addiction experts tell you that you have to disengage or risk being an enabler, a codependent bystander, in the wreckage of an addict's life; that you have to cut all ties or be taken advantage of financially and emotionally; that you have to protect yourself from your loved one, who isn't the person you used to know. But many friends and family members find it unnatural, even impossible, to turn away from a person they love who is at his lowest point, and refuse to believe that their addict is lost to addiction. Backed by his years of experience, Dr. Westreich guides you through the process of getting the addict you love on the road to treatment and recovery. He provides detailed scripts to lead you through pivotal conversations with the addict in your life, highlighting the words that he's found to be most effective and the words to avoid. With this book in hand, family and friends will know, for example, how to motivate their addict to recognize his problem based on the addict's own definition of what addiction looks like; how to "raise the bottom" that addicts so often must hit to a more acceptable level -- such as embarrassment, job loss, or ill health; and when to use gentle disagreement, quiet listening, or forceful confrontation to move the addict toward treatment, while managing and protecting their own emotions. Dr. Westreich also shows you how to engage a therapist in the process and provides methods for combating an addict's defense mechanisms. By outlining several treatment options, he helps you to weigh what each can and cannot accomplish, which is the most effective treatment for the kind of addiction you are dealing with, what each treatment requires of the recovering addict and the friend or family member, and how successful each is. Dr. Westreich also takes care to discuss the kinds of special situations you may face when the addict in your life, in addition to having a substance abuse problem, is a minor, is pregnant, has mental or medical diseases, or has other issues that are likely to affect recovery. Helping the Addict You Love is the guide that so many loved ones of addicts have desperately needed. Dr. Westreich supports you through the emotional process of helping the addict you love, tells you it's okay to want to help, and teaches you how to do so.
Recovering addicts are faced with many challenges, and these challenges can often extend to their romantic partners. During the recovery period, couples often struggle with overcoming feelings of betrayal and frustration, and may have a hard time rebuilding trust and closeness. While there are many resources available to recovering addicts, there are limited resources for the people who love them. In Loving Someone in Recovery, therapist Beverly Berg offers powerful tools for the partners of recovering addicts. Based in mindfulness, attachment theory, and neurobiology, this book will help readers sustain emotional stability in their relationships, increase effective communication, establish boundaries, and take real steps toward reigniting intimacy. The material in this book is drawn from the author’s successful Conscious Couples Recovery Workshop. With more than 25 years in the field, she has developed a unique set of exercises that address the issues faced by couples in recovery. This book addresses the roles that both partners play in recovery, and aims to help readers develop a new appreciation for one another and improve self-confidence and acceptance. The road to recovery is never an easy one, but by building a strong support system, the chances of success are exponentially greater. For more information on Berg’s work, visit consciouscouplesrecovery.com
Love addiction manifests in many forms, from Fatal Attraction-type obsessive lust to less extreme but nonetheless psychologically and emotionally harmful forms. The most common of these is staying in a bad relationship because of a fear of being alone-the "I hate you but don't leave me" relationship. In ADDICTION TO LOVE, recovering love addict Susan Peabody explains the variety of ways this disorder plays out, from the obsessively doting love addict to the addict who can't disentangle from an unfulfilling, dead-end relationship. Peabody provides an in-depth and easy-to-follow recovery program for those suffering from this unhealthy and often dangerous addiction and explains how to create a loving, safe, and fulfilling relationship. • A seminal work on unhealthy and obsessive behaviors in love, and how to change behavior to have a positive relationship. This third edition includes a new introduction and revisions to the text throughout. • Some symptoms of love addiction include love at first sight, excessive fantasizing, abnormal jealousy, nagging, and accepting dishonesty. • Even relationships with parents, children, siblings, or friends may be addictive-dependency is not always related to romantic love. • Previous editions have sold more than 40,000 copies. "Love addiction is a three-headed serpent that Susan Peabody adeptly slays. This is the quintessential book for any love addict or counselor needing to fully understand this highly prevalent and complex disorder. Susan detects and dissects aspects of this condition not comprehended in other books of its kind. Recovery is possible. This book makes it possible to take the succinct steps necessary toward a loving and reciprocal long-term intimate relationship." —Sudi Scull, M.F.T., C.N., psychotherapist and nutritionist
Loving The Addict is based on a true story. This story has everything from love , lust , hate, dominance, obsession, sex, police chases, drug lords, violence , abuse, deceit, betrayal and most of all survival. Know one understood the power that Jake controlled over my heart. A Spell some would say that could not be broken. An addiction I would say. In the beginning the motivation behind writing the book Loving The Addict was a jotting down in a journal as self therapy to cope with what happened to me., and was used to help me deal with the abuse that had occurred in my life "Loving the Addict was an incredible read from beginning to end, not just because it is a page turner but because it is a true story about intense, compelling and emotional subject matter that morphs into a honest insight into survival and ultimately personal redemption. When I read the book I couldn't put it down. The story of Jake and Brenda has so many layers that it keeps you constantly guessing what the highs and lows are going to bring. The complexities of both characters and Brenda's personal points of view make for an amazing read but also a change of insight and perception of the core themes: love, addiction and domestic violence." -Natalie
Addiction is an increasing problem in our society. While there are a variety of programs and “steps” that addicts can follow to work towards recovery, there is no rule book for us—the people who are in love with an addict. All of our journeys are different and yet, the same—filled with chaos, uncertainty, and confusion. This book may not hold any magical solutions to your challenges, but it just might provide you with the comfort and companionship that the author longed for when she traveled through life in love with an addict. She hopes her story can be a support for you as you experience the trials and tribulations that come with loving an addict.
The family recovery classic, Addict in the Family, has been revised and updated to offer parents and other family members even greater support when faced with the reality of a loved one’s addiction. Solid, actionable advice and information about what helps and what doesn’t—and how to care for themselves—make this an indispensable guide. For families of addicts, fear, shame, and confusion over a loved one’s addiction can cause deep anxiety, sleepless nights, and even physical illness. The emotional distress family members suffer is often compounded by the belief that they somehow caused or contributed to their loved one’s addiction—or that they could have done something to prevent it. Addict in the Family is a book about the pain of addiction, but more importantly it is a book of comfort, understanding, and hope for anyone struggling with a loved one’s addiction. As the compelling personal stories reveal, family members do not cause their loved one’s addiction—nor can they control or cure it. What family members can do is find support, set boundaries, detach with love, and eventually discover how to enjoy life more fully. This book helps them do just that—whether the loved one achieves recovery or not.
The author recounts her struggles trying to let go of a relationship that she knew was unhealthy, but to which she was addicted.
This workbook helps readers understand what will and won't work in their relationships with their addicted loved ones--and in their relationships with themselves. As people become familiar with the top 10 survival tips for loving someone with an addiction, they will learn how to offer healthier and more effective choices to the addicted loved one.
Your partner's addiction takes a toll on both of your lives. That doesn't mean you should turn your back on the person you love. We've been told that staying with a partner who struggles with addiction—whether it be with drugs, alcohol, or addictive behaviors—means that we're enabling their destructive behavior. That wanting to help them means we're codependent, and that the best thing for both of us is to walk away from the relationship entirely. But is that true? When Your Partner Has an Addiction challenges the idea that the best chance for recovery—for the addict and their partner—is to walk away. Instead, it makes the revolutionary claim that you, and the love you have for your partner, can be a key part of his or her journey to recovery. Together, addiction activist and bestselling author Christopher Kennedy Lawford and psychotherapist Beverly Engel, MFT, take a fresh look at addiction and codependency—the latest research on what causes them and what the two have in common. Rather than treat addiction or codependency as disease or weakness, When Your Partner Has an Addiction honors the trauma and shame that often lie at their source and shows you how to use your love to combat that shame, allowing you to more effectively support your partner and heal yourself. The research proves that, while you cannot "fix" your partner, you can have a positive impact on their recovery. Whether you suffer from codependency, and whether your partner is already in recovery, When Your Partner Has an Addiction provides you with proven techniques and strategies to drastically improve your relationship and help get your partner the help he needs—without leaving and while taking care of yourself in the process.