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Love addiction manifests in many forms, from Fatal Attraction-type obsessive lust to less extreme but nonetheless psychologically and emotionally harmful forms. The most common of these is staying in a bad relationship because of a fear of being alone-the "I hate you but don't leave me" relationship. In ADDICTION TO LOVE, recovering love addict Susan Peabody explains the variety of ways this disorder plays out, from the obsessively doting love addict to the addict who can't disentangle from an unfulfilling, dead-end relationship. Peabody provides an in-depth and easy-to-follow recovery program for those suffering from this unhealthy and often dangerous addiction and explains how to create a loving, safe, and fulfilling relationship. • A seminal work on unhealthy and obsessive behaviors in love, and how to change behavior to have a positive relationship. This third edition includes a new introduction and revisions to the text throughout. • Some symptoms of love addiction include love at first sight, excessive fantasizing, abnormal jealousy, nagging, and accepting dishonesty. • Even relationships with parents, children, siblings, or friends may be addictive-dependency is not always related to romantic love. • Previous editions have sold more than 40,000 copies. "Love addiction is a three-headed serpent that Susan Peabody adeptly slays. This is the quintessential book for any love addict or counselor needing to fully understand this highly prevalent and complex disorder. Susan detects and dissects aspects of this condition not comprehended in other books of its kind. Recovery is possible. This book makes it possible to take the succinct steps necessary toward a loving and reciprocal long-term intimate relationship." —Sudi Scull, M.F.T., C.N., psychotherapist and nutritionist
Offers advice & a practical guide to making relationships work
In Love and Addiction, published 40 years ago and sold as a mass-market paperback on love, Stanton Peele and Archie Brodsky laid out every major issue confronting the addiction field today. This pioneering classic, which was excerpted in Cosmopolitan and spawned the codependence movement, is the first-and still the definitive-book on addictive love. But it is much more than that; it is the book that explains why addiction is not what we think it is. Love and Addiction focuses on dependent love relationships to explore what both love and addiction really are-psychologically, socially, and culturally. Addiction is an overgrown, dependent, destructive relationship. Love is the opposite, a sharing, growth-inspiring one. The authors' analysis makes clear that an addiction is an experience that takes on meaning and power in light of a person's needs, desires, beliefs, expectations, and fears. By showing how addiction grows out of ordinary human experience, Peele and Brodsky offer a liberating understanding of all addictions-to alcohol, drugs, tobacco, food, gambling, shopping, electronic media, sex, or love. In 1975, Love and Addiction boldly proposed ideas whose truth is only now being recognized: Addiction is not limited to drugs, and drugs are not necessarily addictive. AA's 12 steps are not the last word in addiction treatment. On the contrary, practically oriented addiction treatments are more effective. The goal of addiction treatment and recovery is not abstinence to the exclusion of all else, but to build a life that rules out addiction. Love is the opposite of the self-protective constriction of addiction; it is the expansion of your spirit with another human being. Remarkably, all of these issues-the widespread application of the addiction diagnosis, the limited value of AA and its disease theory, the possibility that people can continue using but still eliminate addiction (harm reduction)-are as hotly debated today as when Peele and Brodsky first analyzed addiction forty years ago. Most remarkably of all, the answers Peele and Brodsky arrived at in Love and Addiction are only now being embraced by progressive thinkers in the field. "Destined to become a classic " Psychology Today proclaimed in 1975. Rereading Love and Addiction 35 years later, addiction researcher Rowdy Yates wrote that the book "still reads absolutely true as an understanding of addictive behavior." Reading today this clairvoyant analysis of the most challenging issues we face in the twenty-first century-the meaning of love and the cure for addiction-you will recognize both the current relevance and enduring value of Love and Addiction, now reissued with a new (2015) Authors' Preface, the Authors' Preface written for the 1991 paperback reissue, and a brief new introduction to each chapter. Otherwise, nothing has been changed in the original book.
A brilliant new guide to understanding the origins of codependence and the path to recovery by a nationally recognized authority on dependency and addiction. In this fresh new look at codependence, Pia Mellody traces the origins of this illness back to childhood, describing a whole range of emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, and sexual abuses. Because of these earlier experiences, codependent adults often lack the skills necessary to lead mature lives and have satisfying relationships. Recovery from codependence comes from clearing up the toxic feelings left over from childhood and learning to reparent oneself by intervening on the adult symptoms of codependence. Central to Mellody's concept is the idea of the "precious child" that needs healing within each adult. She creates a framework for identifying codependent behavior and describes an effective approach to recovery that includes both therapy and self-help processes. Designed to be used with her new workbook for codependents, Breaking Free, this is a powerful tool for understanding the nature of codependence.
2. What is a Sex and Love Addiction? Definition of Addiction, The High, Tolerance, Dependence, Craving, Withdrawal, Obsession, Compulsion, Secrecy, Personality Change, Getting It All Together: Diagnostic Criteria. 3. The Disease Concept of Addictions: Competing Theories of Addictions, The Disease Model of Addiction, The Disease of Sex and Love Addiction, Severity of Sex and Love Addictions. 4. Short-Term Treatment and Recovery: Twelve-Step Programs - H.O.W., Bottom Lines and Triggers, Secrecy, Why Me?, Masks and Attitudes, Relapse and Relapse Prevention. 5. Long-Term Treatment and Recovery: Self-Affirmation, Support Systems, Families, Boundaries, Nurturing and Discipline, PTSD, Healthy Intimacy.
Everyone makes mistakes in relationships at one time or another. Sometimes they learn from those mistakes. Other times, they return to those behaviors and cycle through failed relationship after failed relationship. Sometimes those behaviors become an addiction to love that may leave a person feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, lonely, or worse. Lesbian Love Addiction: Understanding the Urge to Merge and How to Heal When Things go Wrong makes visible the elements of love addiction that many lesbians suffer from. Love addiction for lesbians comes in many forms. Some struggle by sexually acting out and others are serial relationship junkies, jumping from one relationship into the next. Some are addicted to the high of falling in love and once that wears off don’t know how to handle the day-to-day realities of a committed relationship. Some are even addicted to fantasy and intrigue, while others are love avoidants and sexual anorexics. Love avoidants may be able to get into a relationship but once they are fully committed, struggle with feeling smothered. Others may avoid intimate or sexual relationships all together, becoming sexually anorexic. Some may even vacillate between all of these. The underlying component and common denominator in all of these scenarios is the “Urge to Merge.” Lesbian Love Addiction is designed to help ameliorate at least part of this problem. Lauren D. Costine offers insight for lesbians, bisexual women in relationships with women, queer women, and more specifically, any woman who loves women, as well as their family and friends, and health care professionals, into the psychology of lesbian love addiction. It will give those who struggle with and suffer from love addiction ways to understand, cope, and heal from this debilitating addiction. It will give those who work with this population new tools to use to do this more effectively. Mostly, it will help lesbians understand their relationship failures and how to heal from problems associated with them, so they may grow and cultivate happier, more fulfilling connections in the future.
Love addicts are so obsessed with romance & with meeting the expectations of their partners that they completely lose their sense of self and their own legitimate needs. This book is unique because it teaches the skills you need to identify and change the circular, illogical and obsessive thoughts that fuel your addiction.
The author recounts her struggles trying to let go of a relationship that she knew was unhealthy, but to which she was addicted.
Neuroscience now shows us--in living color, thanks to PET scans and fMRI technology--that falling in love affects our brains precisely the same way as snorting cocaine. Award-winning author and screenwriter Ethlie Ann Vare already knew that; she's been addicted to both. She survived to tell the tale . . . with humor, honesty, and hope. Just because something is addictive doesn't mean that you will get addicted to it. But . . . if your stomach ties up in knots while you count the seconds waiting for a phone call from that special someone . . . if you hear a loud buzzing in your ears when you see a certain person's car (or one just like it) . . . if your eyes burn when you hear a random love song or see a couple holding hands . . . if you suffer the twin agonies of craving for and withdrawing from a series of unrequited crushes or toxic relationships . . . if you always feel like you're clutching at someone's ankle and dragged across the floor as they try to leave the room . . . welcome to the club. With a light touch and a sharp wit, Ethlie has enlisted some famous love junkies--including supermodel Amber Smith, movie star William McNamara, and comedienne Margaret Cho--and the top therapists and researchers in the field to help lead you from the dark of despair into the dawn of recovery.
After Rihanna and Alanis Morissette and Amber Smith and Rachel Uchitel, we've all heard about love addiction--people who feel they can only be happy when they are deep in an all-consuming love. There are a handful of books about it (including Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody, Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood, Love Addict by Ethlie Ann Vare, and others), and many rehab and recovery centers are now advertising that they help clients with love addictions and codependency. But no one has approached the subject of its equally damaging cousin--relationship addiction. Relationship addicts are so in love with love with love and romance and being coupled up that they continually move from one relationship to another, always on the rebound, never giving themselves time to heal and learn how to be independent. They get into relationships again and again, just to avoid feeling lonely--or worse, to avoid feeling "abnormal." Love Smacked will address all of these issues, looking at early childhood trauma and how that affects our subsequent choices in partners, and how we approach love and relationships. It will discuss the lessons we learn from our upbringing and social and cultural background--lessons that sometimes teach us what healthy relationships look like, but sometimes teach us something else: that we don't deserve any better; that a typical relationship looks turbulent and difficu "This is an important book. Sherry Gaba clearly identifies a common pattern in relationships and shows the negative results on relationships of self-abandonment. --Margaret Paul, PhD, Co-Creator of Inner Bonding"