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What is an 'Adult Child'? a child who was forced to take on an 'adult' role in a family that did not have adequate or reliable adult role models an adult who, despite being grown up, has childlike qualities and behaviours that were developed in an unsafe environment During her work as a Life Coach, Judy Klipin began to notice some themes and challenges which are common to many of her clients. At first she was slightly taken aback how many of her clients had limiting beliefs centred on (amongst others) their need to be perfect, their inability to trust themselves and others, and their horror of asking for help. These limiting beliefs seemed to stem from childhoods punctuated by unpredictability, chaos and/or varying degrees of physical, emotional and spiritual neglect, resulting in grown up men and women who are 'Adult Children'.
Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition. If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years, including: My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong? Is it OK to give advice to my grown child? What's the difference between enabling and helping? What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home? What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood? How do I relate to my grown child's significant other? What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries? How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values? Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.
A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children. “Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.”—Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his forty years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible. While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.
New York Times Bestseller "Julie Lythcott-Haims is a national treasure. . . . A must-read for every parent who senses that there is a healthier and saner way to raise our children." -Madeline Levine, author of the New York Times bestsellers The Price of Privilege and Teach Your Children Well "For parents who want to foster hearty self-reliance instead of hollow self-esteem, How to Raise an Adult is the right book at the right time." -Daniel H. Pink, author of the New York Times bestsellers Drive and A Whole New Mind A provocative manifesto that exposes the harms of helicopter parenting and sets forth an alternate philosophy for raising preteens and teens to self-sufficient young adulthood In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research, on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers, and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success. Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of twentysomethings-and of special value to parents of teens-this book is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence.
Many adults who had challenging childhoods find that their childhood fears impact on their lives as adults. If you behaved in a very responsible and reliable manner when you were a child and if, now that you are an adult, you often feel childlike and vulnerable in stressful situations, you are in all likelihood an adult child. Having a childhood that is unpredictable or inconsistent in any way often results in a range of characteristics and limiting beliefs which include a need to be perfect, an inability to trust others, and a horror of asking for help. It doesn't really matter what was going on in your family, or why you felt like you needed to be a grown-up when you were a child. What matters is that you did. Recover from your Childhoodwill take you on a journey of self-discovery and provide you with powerful tools to will guide you through a process of healing. It will bring you relief from the confusion and anxiety that may have been your constant companions, and it will guide you to a place of understanding and acceptance of yourself. This book will help you to change - not who you are, but how you are.
"Professional counselor and mom helps parents navigate the changing relationships with their adult children"--Provided by publisher.
A highly praised columnist for the Daily Telegraph, Lesley Garner's latest book is an anthology of some of the essential pieces from all three of her previous works, examined again in a new light and with more depth and relevance than ever before, by relating them to the extraordinary experience of being let into the confidence of thousands of people. "This is a retreat in a book. Open it and take time out. Reading one essay takes thirty seconds but that one essay might shift you to a new way of being. This book is designed to deliver what I know of mood-shifting, re-inspiring, creative thinking, re-framing your experience, shifting the dark and letting in light. You can apply it to work, love, grief, change, fear, even despair. When you read it, know that it rests on four beliefs. We cannot change others, only ourselves. We know more than we think we do. We find the answers in stillness. And, the fourth truth, which I have learned from thousands of people: we are not alone." – Lesley Garner
What to Do When Parenting Gets Painfully Complicated Are your adult child’s mental, emotional, and physical health issues driving you to despair? Are you tempted to bail your son or daughter out of yet another impossible circumstance? When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it’s difficult to know what your “help” as a parent should look like. From the author of bestseller Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children, Allison Bottke now offers an in-depth guide to help you connect with your troubled adult child, and to build your confidence, knowledge, and hope in challenging situations such as… drug addiction mental and emotional disabilities military trauma and PTSD personality disorders financial trouble depression and bipolar divorce incarceration …and so much more Whether you’re facing these problems for the first time or looking to learn more, take a step back and develop effective strategies to truly help your adult child—without sacrificing your sanity.
In this irreverent guide, a bestselling comedy writer and noted psychotherapist teach parents how to handle their grown kids. There are many books out there to teach you how to handle your children after they graduate from diapers, but none tells you how to proceed once they graduate from high school. As new patterns emerge in the lives of young adults, parents find that their grown children have bigger problems than they did just a few years ago. How to Raise Your Adult Children is a manual for anxious moms and dads. Whether confronting the question of setting a curfew for a college kid at home, or paying for a forty-year-old daughter's wedding, two "been there, done that" moms give advice with an edge on a variety of emotionally and financially perilous situations, including: • Your kid needs money-your money • Your kid moves back home and stays home • You know your child should not marry their significant other • Your big children keep dumping their little children on you Combining the wit of Emmy Award-winning writer Gail Parent and the insight of psychotherapist Susan Ende, this book answers questions most parents never imagined they would have to ask.