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Cindy Crabb provides a DIY tour of the promise and perils of sexual relationships in Learning Good Consent. Building ethical relationships is one of the most important things we can do, but sex, consent, abuse, and support can get complicated. This collection is an indispensable guide to both preventing sexual violence and helping its survivors to heal. Includes a foreword by Kiyomi Fujikawa and Jenna Peters-Golden. “Whether or not you think you need it, whether or not you’re a survivor, or dating a survivor, or even having sex, you would probably benefit from reading this book. And the people you choose to be intimate with will probably thank you for making their safety a priority.” —Nomy Lamm, Feminist Review “Learning Good Consent … offers powerful, complicated information (instead of shallow questions and uncomplicated answers). This book speaks to those who are unlearning silence as a safety/communication strategy.” —Jen Cross, make/shift “Essential reading.” —Colin Atrophy Hagendorf, author of Slice Harvester “What this book does is to stress consent: not ‘no means no,’ or even ‘yes means yes,’ but ‘Do you want me to stay here with you?’ ‘Are you here?’ ‘I thought I wanted this, but I’m not sure now.’ ‘Do you think we should take this farther?’ I’m moved that this book is here. It matters.” —Alison Piepmeier, author of Girl Zines: Making Media, Doing Feminism Cindy Crabb is an author of the influential, feminist, autobiographical ‘zine Doris, which has been anthologized into two books: The Encyclopedia of Doris: Stories, Essays and Interviews and Doris: An Anthology 1991–2001. Her essays and analyses of the impact of her writing have appeared in numerous books and magazines, including: The Riot Grrrl Collection; Stay Solid! A Radical Handbook for Youth; Girl Zines: Making Media, Doing Feminism; and We Don’t Need Another Wave: Dispatches from the Next Generation of Feminists.
Curated by Doris editor Cindy Crabb, Learning Good Consent looks at the culture of sexual consent from a standpoint which is both sexy and educational. During the course of 46 pages, Cindy and friends create a well-rounded consent workshop, with all sights set on healing and helping. In the midst of rape culture, blurred lines, and troubled relationships with power and boundaries, Consent has your back. As says Cindy in the zine's intro, 'Talking about our experiences with consent, our struggles, our mistakes and how we've learned, these are part of a much larger revolutionary struggle.'
This cut and paste compilation zine details consent in sexual situations, including the Antioch policy, broaching the subject of consent yourself, how to teach a workshop on the topic, and how to talk about it in your community. Learning Good Consent also brings up the issues of being a sex abuse survivor, polyamory, being raped by your best friend, the lack of discussion of consent about men who have sex with men, and the challenges of the queer community to reject internalized power structures with regards to sex. Among the contributors are Down There Collective, Philly Stands Up, and Shannon Perez-Darby.
Why would most people endure unwanted or unsatisfying touch, rather than speak up for their own boundaries and desires? It's a question with a myriad of answers - and one that Dr. Betty Martin has explored in her 40+ years as a hands-on practitioner, first as a chiropractor and later as a Somatic Sex Educator, Certified Surrogate Partner and Sacred Intimate. In her client sessions, she noticed a pattern wherein many clients would "allow" or go along with discomfort or unease rather than speak up for what they wanted or didn't want. Betty discovered there was a major component missing for people -- the confidence that we have a choice about what is happening to us. In her framework, "The Wheel of Consent(R)" Betty traces the fundamental roots of consent back to our childhood conditioning. As children, we are taught that to be "good" we must ignore our body's discomfort and be compliant: to finish our food even if we're full, to go to bed - even if we're not tired, to let relatives hug and kiss us even if we don't want to. We learn that our feelings don't matter more than what is happening, and that we don't have a choice but to go along, whether or not we want it. As adults, this conditioning remains with us until we have an opportunity to unlearn it, which is why consent violations are often only called out after the violation has occurred - because we have not been taught or empowered to notice our boundaries, much less value or express our internal signals as the unwanted action is happening. In this book, Betty guides the reader through the Wheel of Consent framework, and shares practices to help us recover the ability to notice what we want and set clear boundaries. While the practices are based on exchanges of touch, they can also be learned without touch. In these practices, we discover that the Art of Giving includes knowing our own limits so we can be more generous within those limits, and not give beyond our capacity - a common problem which creates feelings of resentment or martyrdom. We also discover that the Art of Receiving invites us to notice and ask for what we really want, and not just what we think we are supposed to want. This knowledge, and its embodied practice, is foundational for creating clear agreements and bringing more satisfaction into relationships. While much of consent education focuses on noticing what we don't want, or prevention of violation, Betty has developed a "pleasure-forward" approach to teaching consent. By first accessing and awakening (sometimes re-awakening) our bodies' relationship to pleasure and what we want, we can practice noticing and verbalizing what we don't want. Such an approach provides a more holistic frame in which to unlearn the childhood conditioning that taught us to be silent and compliant, and in which individuals can learn to ask for what they want and state what they don't, in a more empowered way. The implications of this approach to consent education extends beyond touch and intimate relationships. When we forget how to notice what we really want, we lose our inner compass. When we continue to go along with things we don't feel are right, we lose our ability to speak up against injustice. This has a profound effect on society. We allow all manner of inequality, corruption, theft of natural resources and our planet's future health - because "going along with it" feels normal. The Wheel of Consent offers a deeply nuanced way to practice consent as an agreement that brings integrity, responsibility, and empowerment into human interaction, starting with touch and relationships, and further expanding our understanding of consent to social issues of equality and justice.
This book explores consent and respect with children especially in relation to body boundaries, both theirs and others. A child growing up knowing they have a right to their own personal space, gives that child ownership and choices as to what happens to them. These concepts are presented in a child-friendly and easily-understood manner.
Improve Schools and Transform Education In order for educational systems to change, we must reevaluate deep-seated beliefs about learning, teaching, schooling, and race that perpetuate inequitable opportunities and outcomes. Hatch, Corson, and Gerth van den Berg challenge the narrative when it comes to the "grammar of schooling"--or the conventional structures, practices, and beliefs that define educational experiences for so many children—to cast a new vision of what school could be. The book addresses current systemic problems and solutions as it: Highlights global examples of successful school change Describes strategies that improve educational opportunities and performance Explores promising approaches in developing new learning opportunities Outlines conditions for supporting wide-scale educational improvement This provocative book approaches education reform by highlighting what works, while also demonstrating what can be accomplished if we redefine conventional schools. We can make the schools we have more efficient, more effective, and more equitable, all while creating powerful opportunities to support all aspects of students’ development. "You won’t find a better book on system change in education than this one. We learn why schools don’t change; how they can improve; what it takes to change a system; and, in the final analysis, the possibilities of system change. Above all, The Education We Need renders complexity into clarity as the writing is so clear and compelling. A powerful read on a topic of utmost importance." ~Michael Fullan, Professor Emeritus, OISE/Universtiy of Toronto "I cannot recommend this book highly enough – Tom tackles long-standing and emerging educational issues in new ways with an impressive understanding of the challenging complexities, but also feasible possibilities, for ensuring excellence and equity for all students." ~Carol Campbell, Associate Professor, Ontario Institute for Studies in Education, University of Toronto
*Shortlisted for the 2020 North Somerset Children's Book Award* From the co-creator of the viral 'Tea Consent' video, this is the perfect introduction to consent for kids and families everywhere. Your body belongs to you and you get to set your own rules, so that you may have boundaries for different people and sometimes they might change. Like when you hi-five your friends and kiss your kitten, but not the other way round! But consent doesn't need to be confusing. From setting boundaries, to reflecting on your own behaviour and learning how to be an awesome bystander, this book will have you feeling confident, respected, and 100% in charge of yourself and your body Brought to life with funny and informative illustrations, this is the smart, playful and empowering book on consent that everyone has been waiting for.
A children's board book about respecting body boundaries. Teaches babies, toddlers, and thoughtful parents that it is okay for kids to say no to hugs and kisses, and that what happens to a person's body is up to them. Inspired by the #MeToo movement, written by a mom, illustrated by a feminist artist, and successfully crowdfunded on Kickstarter. Follows recommendations by child experts about allowing kids to decide when and how to offer affection to others. Helps young kids grow up confident in their bodies, comfortable with expressing physical boundaries, and respectful of the boundaries of others.
A guide to sex education and contemporary sexual ethics answers common questions that teens have about such topics as dating, relationships, consent, and sexual safety.
"You can do this! You can help kids fall in love with reading. You can fill your classroom with piles of amazing books kids will be itching to get their hands on. You can find stretches of time every single day during which kids read books they care about. You can observe, respond, and interact with your readers in powerful and meaningful ways. You can make it happen, starting today." -Kari Yates You don't become an amazing reading teacher all at once. Someone shows you where to begin. Someone who has taught every kind of reader and coached teachers just like you. Someone like Kari Yates. Simple Starts is Kari's getting-started guide to creating the reading classroom of your dreams-and your students'. Teacher to teacher, she distills research and best practice into essentials that help you: Engage readers with books they'll love Provide kids the time for reading and discussion Nurture independence through choice Guide students' growth and yours by asking "What's next?" Conversational, practical, and inspirational, Simple Starts is filled with teaching strategies, quick reflection charts, example anchor charts, and teacher know-how from thirty years in classrooms and schools. "What's next is simple," writes Kari Yates. "You don't have to know everything about books or reading. You just need to follow a few simple steps." With Kari and Simple Starts you'll do it. So come on in! Your kids are counting on you, and it's time to bravely begin.