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What does a Dad joke become when it gets too old? Why, a Grandad joke, of course. This collection of 101 of the best ever Grandad jokes is aimed at kids who just want a laugh and Grandads (and Dads) who want to stock up on those jokes that make their kids groan (while secretly laughing). Grandad tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to hit an iceberg and sink. But no one would listen. He was screaming and shouting but they all told him to be quiet. They weren't interested in what he had to say. But he just got louder and louder.In the end, they had to eject him from the movie theatre. Ideal Father's Day present for the Dad or Grandad in your life. Ideal Christmas stocking filler for the kids. Imagine your 12 year old brightening up Christmas by reading all 101 jokes at the dinner table. Or not. Warning: Contains the word fart (twice). At the end of the book, you'll find 25 Swifties. One-liners to cover those situations where afterwards you think afterwards "Now if only I'd said...". Buy the eBook and download the audio book for free. Play it in the car and annoy your passengers. Play it in the gym and be the only person laughing on the treadmill. But most of all... Enjoy!
Children love laughing about body noises. In Grandpa's Noises, a range of sounds and words coming from body and mouth are explained in a warm and funny intergenerational romp. Children look at life with open, honest eyes but sometimes it takes a bit of thinking and code-breaking to work out what's really going on. Fortunately, for this particular grandchild, while Grandpa's noises might be a mystery to many, he knows just what they mean! For example, "Eyenolessgofurawark" is obviously Grandpa-speak for "I know, let’s go for a walk". "Aaaahhh" means the cup of tea is just perfect, and "Pissphusshawertt" is that sinking sound Grandpa makes when he needs a rest in his chair. And once you know that "Eeeawoscreech!" is actually the sound of a misbehaving hearing aid, Grandpa becomes a lot less scary and even more lovable. Of course some sounds - like the "Fffffffft" that sometimes escapes Grandpa’s bottom, and Dad's - need no explanation!
Last time I went to see Grandad, he seemed a little different. What do you do when your Grandad starts acting VERY much like a penguin? Find out in this brilliantly funny and heartwarming story from talented author and illustrator, Morag Hood. Boys and girls alike will love the witty, sweet and brilliantly surreal depiction of everyday settings and situations in this fish-out-of-water story with a difference. When Grandad was a Penguin is perfect for sharing with children (and grandads) young and old. Morag Hood's artwork is gorgeously bold and stylish and her illustrative talent and keen eye for design won her a place as runner up in the Macmillan Prize for Illustration. Since graduating she has created such brilliant books as Colin and Lee, Carrot and Pea, I Am Bat and The Steves.
He told me he loved me. He told me it was normal. I wanted to believe him. Emma’s grandad was kind and loving, so when she was 11 and he started abusing her, she didn't understand what was happening. He convinced her that what he did to her was normal, and that their relationship was special – but then manipulated her into having sex with another man. Over the next seven years, Emma’s grandad sold her to over two hundred men, and forced her to keep the shameful secret. This is her true story of survival.
A celebration of grandparents and the special role they play in family life. This delightful board book captures the joy of spending a fun-filled day with Grandad. With a gentle, rhyming story and sweet, colourful illustrations, this is the perfect present for every family. For new grandparents, on Father's Day or at any time of the year. From the creators of I Love My Daddy, a Sunday Times Top 10 Bestseller, and I Love My Mummy, winner of the Book Trust Early Years Award.
Shaye and Grandad must solve a Mystery. Something so incredible it would blow your mind. What lies in wait for the two Adventurers only time will tell? When Shaye woke on what seemed like any other normal day he never expected even in his wildest dreams to be searching for hidden treasure. Or, to be stuck in a dark cellar with an odd smelling Zombie with false teeth and a Big wonky eye. Inside the big old creepy house, there are hidden rooms and secret passages and strange things you couldn’t imagine seeing even in the scariest films. William, Shaye’s grandad had decided to visit his oldest friends at the end of the road care home. A house once owned by Sir Edward Cranach an industrialist with a love of gold. Old Terry Chapman had found a strange little book in the library with five clues to where the gold is buried, but they are not alone in this quest, someone is watching them. Who is the shadowy figure? And can Shaye, grandad and his friends find the gold before the stranger? An Amazing fun Children's illustrated Mystery and Adventure book.
Why Grandpa Jokes Are Better Than Dad Jokes? Well, because grandpa knows every thing! This is the perfect gift for grandfather who loves telling jokes and making everyone laugh! Clean family jokes The first page has space for you to write a special message, an ideal alternative to a card. Perfect Funny Novelty Gift For Grandpa's Birthday, Father's day, Christmas, Valentine's Day or Any Regular Day To Make Grandpa Smile!
The elementary tale of the life cycle of a tree, from its beginnings as a sapling to its demise on the forest floor, where it decomposes and becomes "a home for rabbits, and food for flowers", is also a life lesson for people. In this enhanced version, enjoy read-along, some fun animations, and a coloring page!
The Legend of Short Tail and the Magic Stone By: Michael Kyle A love of wildlife and the outdoors was the key factor in Michael Kyle and his wife’s purchasing an eleven-acre farm, which they turned into a horse farm, much like the one in The Legend of Short Tail and the Magic Stone. With the state park just down the road, where wildlife is protected, there are always plenty of animals running around. The deer graze in the field alongside the horses, and the American eagles fly on by to their way to the Susquehanna River to fish. The coyotes chase rabbits around, and raccoons try to break in the barn to get horse feed. Every day is a new adventure. The Legend of Short Tail and the Magic Stone is based on these adventures. Kyle watched the wildlife around his farm and turned these moments into wonderful stories of wildlife and human interactions. What can happen when a young couple on their honeymoon crosses paths with a fox with a magic stone? Travel through the present and the distant past in hopes of reuniting two young children with their parents. Exciting and easy to read, Kyle’s mystical storytelling is sure to entertain and provide wonderment to children and adults of all ages.
This is a story peppered with incidences from the life of a boy taken into care, the will to make good in the absence of a real mum and dad, the heartache caused by a society by applying wrong decisions enforced by the State and Acts of Parliament, creating an atmosphere of turmoil, misunderstanding, and anger. It speaks of the love and care of other people wishing to respond to a childs call for help. The acclaim from a boy who wishes to achieve something in life by playing cricket for his country. Asking questions of what can be done, to avoid any misunderstanding or blame b? The accolade, when deserved, is as true today as it will be tomorrow.