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Brilliantly funny misheard lyrics and outrageous earworms 'Six o'clock already I was just in the middle of a dream. I was kissing Danny DeVito by a crystal blue Italian stream.' 'I was loooking for some action and all I found were cygnets and a waterfall.' 'When I get that feeling I need saxophone cleaning.' Funny, surreal, absurd and occasionally embarrassing, everyone has a misheard lyric moment. From simple mistakes like 'If you don't Naomi by now. You will never never Naomi', to something completely off the wall 'Specs and rugs and sausage rolls, are all my mind and body needs' - these linguistic gaffes have been the source of fun ever since the dawn of popular music. Now everyone's favourite online goon - the one and only @trouteyes has amassed a heap of his own wonky earworms for our reading pleasure in this wonderful hashtag fire emoji humour book.
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • “Marvelous . . . I just had to be there with the Post cereal heiress through every twist and turn.”—Martha Hall Kelly, New York Times bestselling author of Lilac Girls “New-money heiress Marjorie Post isn’t content to remain a society bride as she remakes herself into a savvy entrepreneur, a visionary philanthropist, a presidential hostess, and much more.”—Kate Quinn, New York Times bestselling author of The Rose Code Mrs. Post, the President and First Lady are here to see you. . . . So begins another average evening for Marjorie Merriweather Post. Presidents have come and gone, but she has hosted them all. Growing up in the modest farmlands of Battle Creek, Michigan, Marjorie was inspired by a few simple rules: always think for yourself, never take success for granted, and work hard—even when deemed American royalty, even while covered in imperial diamonds. Marjorie had an insatiable drive to live and love and to give more than she got. From crawling through Moscow warehouses to rescue the Tsar’s treasures to outrunning the Nazis in London, from serving the homeless of the Great Depression to entertaining Roosevelts, Kennedys, and Hollywood’s biggest stars, Marjorie Merriweather Post lived an epic life few could imagine. Marjorie’s journey began gluing cereal boxes in her father’s barn as a young girl. No one could have predicted that C. W. Post’s Cereal Company would grow into the General Foods empire and reshape the American way of life, with Marjorie as its heiress and leading lady. Not content to stay in her prescribed roles of high-society wife, mother, and hostess, Marjorie dared to demand more, making history in the process. Before turning thirty she amassed millions, becoming the wealthiest woman in the United States. But it was her life-force, advocacy, passion, and adventurous spirit that led to her stunning legacy. And yet Marjorie’s story, though full of beauty and grandeur, set in the palatial homes she built such as Mar-a-Lago, was equally marked by challenge and tumult. A wife four times over, Marjorie sought her happily-ever-after with the blue-blooded party boy who could not outrun his demons, the charismatic financier whose charm turned to betrayal, the international diplomat with a dark side, and the bon vivant whose shocking secrets would shake Marjorie and all of society. Marjorie did everything on a grand scale, especially when it came to love. Bestselling and acclaimed author Allison Pataki has crafted an intimate portrait of a larger-than-life woman, a powerful story of one woman falling in love with her own voice and embracing her own power while shaping history in the process.
After publishing fourteen professional books, Stan wrote Tall Tales to leave a legacy for subsequent generations, as a human annuity, as a mark of his post-retirement work, and as a way of taking stock. Its done in four genresmemoir, essay, fi ction and poetry-and grouped by theme, with sections on his personal life, work life, his thoughts on religion, ten fi ctional tales, and two intermezzi with some poems. Thats it. Have fun.
An irreverent, allusive, scatalogical, tragicomic masterpiece that centers on the patrons of a run-down bar as they try to document the details of their lives in a country that appears to have forgotten the importance of remembering. In Republic of the Congo, in the town of Trois-Cents, in a bar called Credit Gone West, a former schoolteacher known as Broken Glass drinks red wine and records the stories of the bar and its regulars for posterity: Stubborn Snail, the owner, who must battle church people, ex-alcoholics, tribal leaders, and thugs set on destroying him and his business; the Printer, who had his respectable life in France ruined by a white woman, his wife; Robinette, who could outdrink and outpiss any man; and Broken Glass himself, whose own tale involves as much heartbreak, squalor, disappointment, and delusion. But Broken Glass fails spectacularly at staying out of trouble as one denizen after another wants to rewrite history in an attempt at making sure his portrayal will properly reflect their exciting and dynamic lives. Despondent over this apparent triumph of self-delusion over self-awareness, Broken Glass drowns his sorrows and riffs on the great books of Africa and the West. Brimming with life, death, and literary allusions, Broken Glass is Mabanckou's finest novel--a mocking satire of the dangers of artistic integrity.
THE MISSING YEARS FROM THE GREATEST CRIME SAGA OF ALL TIME Thirty-five years ago, Mario Puzo’s great American tale, The Godfather, was published, and popular culture was indelibly changed. Now, in The Godfather Returns, acclaimed novelist Mark Winegardner continues the story–the years not covered in Puzo’s bestselling book or in Francis Ford Coppola’s classic films. It is 1955. Michael Corleone has won a bloody victory in the war among New York’s crime families. Now he wants to consolidate his power, save his marriage, and take his family into legitimate businesses. To do so, he must confront his most dangerous adversary yet, Nick Geraci, a former boxer who worked his way through law school as a Corleone street enforcer, and who is every bit as deadly and cunning as Michael. Their personal cold war will run from 1955 to 1962, exerting immense influence on the lives of America’s most powerful criminals and their loved ones, including Tom Hagen, the Corleone Family’s lawyer and consigliere, who embarks on a political career in Nevada while trying to protect his brother; Francesca Corleone, daughter of Michael’s late brother Sonny, who is suddenly learning her family’s true history and faces a difficult choice; Don Louie Russo, head of the Chicago mob, who plays dumb but has wily ambitions for muscling in on the Corleones’ territory; Peter Clemenza, the stalwart Corleone underboss, who knows more Family secrets than almost anyone; Ambassador M. Corbett Shea, a former Prohibition-era bootlegger and business ally of the Corleones’, who wants to get his son elected to the presidency–and needs some help from his old friends; Johnny Fontane, the world’s greatest saloon singer, who ascends to new heights as a recording artist, cozying up to Washington’s power elite and maintaining a precarious relationship with notorious underworld figures; Kay Adams Corleone, who finally discovers the truth about her husband, Michael–and must decide what it means for their marriage and their children and Fredo Corleone, whose death has never been fully explained until now, and whose betrayal of the Family was part of a larger and more sinister chain of events. Sweeping from New York and Washington to Las Vegas and Cuba, The Godfather Returns is the spellbinding story of America’s criminal underworld at mid-century and its intersection with the political, legal, and entertainment empires. Mark Winegardner brings an original voice and vision to Mario Puzo’s mythic characters while creating several equally unforgettable characters of his own. The Godfather Returns stands on its own as a triumph–in a tale about what we love, yearn for, and sometimes have reason to fear . . . family.
* BBC RADIO 4 BOOK OF THE WEEK * 'Anybody who loves the printed word will be bowled over by this amusing, erudite, beautiful book about books. It is in every way a triumph. One of the loveliest books to have been published for many, many years' Alexander McCall Smith 'Quite simply the best gift for any book lover this year, or perhaps ever' Lucy Atkins, Sunday Times Literary Book of the Year 'An utterly joyous journey into the deepest eccentricities of the human mind… The most cheering, fascinating book I’ve read for ages' Guardian From the author of the critically acclaimed and globally successful The Phantom Atlas, The Golden Atlas and The Sky Atlas comes a stunning new work. The Madman’s Library is a unique, beautifully illustrated journey through the entire history of literature, delving into its darkest territories to hunt down the very strangest books ever written, and uncover the fascinating stories behind their creation. This is a madman’s library of eccentric and extraordinary volumes from around the world, many of which have been completely forgotten. Books written in blood and books that kill, books of the insane and books that hoaxed the globe, books invisible to the naked eye and books so long they could destroy the Universe, books worn into battle, books of code and cypher whose secrets remain undiscovered… and a few others that are just plain weird. From the 605-page Qur'an written in the blood of Saddam Hussein, through the gorgeously decorated 15th-century lawsuit filed by the Devil against Jesus, to the lost art of binding books with human skin, every strand of strangeness imaginable (and many inconceivable) has been unearthed and bound together for a unique and richly illustrated collection ideal for every book-lover.
A number one Irish bestseller, and winner of the Popular Non-Fiction Book of the Year at the Irish Book Awards In this fascinating and thought-provoking book, Professor Luke O'Neill grapples with life's biggest questions and tells us what science has to say about them. Covering topics from global pandemics to gender, addiction to euthanasia, Luke O'Neill's easy wit and clever pop-culture references deconstruct the science to make complex questions accessible. Arriving at science's definitive answers to some of the most controversial topics human beings have to grapple with, Never Mind the B#ll*ocks, Here's the Science is a celebration of science and hard facts in a time of fake news and sometimes unhelpful groupthink. 'A celebration of scientific fact in an era characterised by nebulous subjectivity' Irish Times
At a gala evening dinner dance, lovely thirty-five-year-old Butters announces openly on the dance floor to Slats, "The last time I saw you, you were naked." Kevin "Slats" Slattery, a married middle-aged advertising executive with two children, is certain he has never seen this woman before. He is in a tizzy over her outrageous pronouncement. He wonders if Butters is a hustler, kook, bored housewife, or actress. He wonders which of his friends put her up to this stunt. In spite of how upset he is by Butters' pronouncement, Slats is intrigued by the woman herself-a voluptuous female with teasing eyes and a dazzling smile. Soon, Butters and Slats act on their mutual attraction and begin an affair, both cheating on their spouses. Even though Butters has made Slats feel like a man again, he questions his affair and still feels obligated to Terry, his wife of twenty-five years. A humorous romance, The Last Time I Saw You, You Were NAKED! depicts the magnificence of life and delivers the message that adversity can be a powerful motivator. The human spirit can overcome inequities, and individuals can reach within themselves to become survivors. Just add a bit of humor.
Work can leave you frazzled – but it shouldn't. What you need is some sane advice to get you through. Your body aches. Your brain feels like a mouldy wrung-out dishcloth. You can barely get anything done and, hang on, why are you even doing this anyway? Is there something wrong with you? Nope. You're just burnt out. Burnout Survival Kit offers practical advice for when things are already bad. There's no mystical magic about unleashing your inner corporate superhero, no weird productivity diagrams, and certainly no crap about working 'smarter'. Instead, this is the calm inner voice that you need, served with a sense of humour on the side. As well as helping you to take time to ground yourself, there are brilliant hacks for all the causes of stress and anxiety, from how to approach networking (no one likes it) to practical advice on sleeping better. And the jokes help too. This may not be a cure, but it really does offer instant relief and give you the chance to take a breath. So whether you're just starting to burn or fully scorched to a crisp, rest easy. You've got a Burnout Survival Kit.
Thousands Of Thoughts Run Through Our Minds Every Day, Forming An Inner Story Or Soundtrack That Controls Our Lives. Our internal voice can be critical, sabotaging our attempts to achieve the things we want. By tuning into and becoming more aware of the stories we are telling ourselves, we can free ourselves from the thoughts and beliefs that are holding us back. Alongside concepts, ideas and new perspectives, this book contains an eight-week practical programme for mental and emotional fitness. Through journalling, meditation and self enquiry we can begin to train our thoughts and mind to support us in the pursuit of our dreams, opening up to a fresh new outlook and appreciation for life as it is rather than life as we feel it should be. 'Fit Mind will change your life for the better.'Geoff Thompson, Bafta-Winning Writer 'Contains simple yet powerful practices that deepen attention and awareness.'Dr Easkey Britton, Surfer And Author Of Saltwater In The Blood 'A transformative guide for anyone looking to make a serious change in their life.'Yung Pueblo, New York Times Bestselling Author