Miguel Garcia
Published: 2009-11
Total Pages: 94
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I had been writing in a journal since I was very young, probably about twenty years ago. I am now thirty- three. I was always afraid of being mocked for my poetry. One day a friend read my work and I saw the emotion my work envoked. The more open I became, the more positive reinforcement I received to push myself and work on getting my collections published. It has been a very difficult and frustrating process, and I hope that all these years of writing will pay off and I can finally feel like I have achieved something in my life. I have had God by my side at all times, and I know He will always be there; waiting for me to ask Him for guidance and strength. It is when I am ignorant and I am determined to self destruct that I am surrounded by evil. There are forces that surround us that we cannot comprehend. We can ride the waves of darkness until there is nothing left for us to live, or we can believe that we will prosper through our faith in God. I have done both with such consistency that I find myself in limbo. I have chosen to dance with my demons; because I believe in my heart that I could never defeat them in the end unless I have learned their ways. There will come a time when I shall have to face my worst fears. I am not sure what happens after we die, and that is terribly frightening. This is an anthology of my battles within my conscience that determine the decisions I make, whether they be good or bad. Again, I hope this can touch a few people so that when I face my judgment I may be redeemed for the sins I have committed. MIGUEL GARCIA currently resides in Pearland, Texas and is working toward his Masters in Psychology. In and out of trouble since the age of fifteen, much of his teenage years were spent in hospitals, jail, and finally a year in prison. After he was released he worked and went to school, trying to make up for lost time, vainly searching for a feeling of normality. In his late twenties this became very difficult as he began struggling with hallucinations and violent behavior. He had kept himself somewhat isolated, but as his strange visions and unpredictable actions took over his life, he pushed away anything normal and began what seemed like a personal quest for self destruction. This project has been his only solace, bringing him peace from the realization that he is finally doing something positive for himself and he hopes for others who feel the emptiness as he does. As I have watched him over the past several years, I have seen the worst of him and the best. when I truly thought he had hit rock bottom; only to see him pick himself up and start over again. He is a paradox of a person; standoffish and indifferent on the outside, but for the person who takes the time to look behind the wall that he has built, you will see the light that shines from him. He has lost much with his illness and the choices he has made. His decisions have been his own and he will be the first to say that its his life and he will live it as best he can. Poetry is an intimate mountain of private thoughts, and his goal is that his writing may help someone out there who feels that they are alone. Through his poems he wants others to feel how important it is to have faith in a higher power, to know you need not bow down to others who want you to feel inadequate; and that a person can come back from anything and live a confident and fulfilling life.