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This insightful new volume explores the many and varied aspects of the process of intimacy as it relates to autonomy in couples therapy. The nature of intimacy in relationships is explored from a variety of vantage points by experienced therapists with a wide range of backgrounds. This thought-provoking book will provide all therapists and mental health/counseling professionals with insight into the subject of intimacy and the problems involved in attaining access to the intimacy process in therapy with couples. Given that a large portion of the population of our culture suffers from various forms of intimacy disorder, Intimate Autonomy: Autonomous Intimacy brings a variety of viewpoints of utmost importance to all who are involved in couples therapy. In-depth coverage of various factors related to intimacy and autonomy is provided by this intriguing book. Some of the topics examined include the myth and reality of intimate autonomy in couples relationships, narcissistic vulnerability in marriage, the fear of loneliness as the basic and universal drive motivating intimacy, intimate autonomy as it relates to the Gestalt therapy concept of the "I-Thou" relationship, a comparison of transference in therapy to falling in love, the use of existential reflection with Vietnam veterans in marital therapy to increase meaning awareness, and a clinical guide to the use of a conceptualization of marital intimacy based on the idea of a matrix of four basic characteristics of intimacy. Mental health professionals, pastoral counsellors, clergy, and psychotherapists will find plenty of food-for-thought on the subject of intimacy and autonomy in couples relationships in this fascinating volume.
This handbook brings together the latest thinking on the scientific study of closeness and intimacy from some of the most active and widely recognized relationship scholars in social and clinical psychology, communication studies, and related disciplines. Each contributing author defines their understanding of the meaning of closeness and intimacy; summarizes existing research and provides an overview of a theoretical framework; presents new ideas, applications, and previously unstated theoretical connections; and provides cross-references to other chapters to further integrate the material. The Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy will be of interest to researchers, practitioners, and students from social, clinical, and developmental psychology; family studies; counseling; and communication.
Current research claims loneliness is passively caused by external conditions: environmental, cultural, situational, and even chemical imbalances in the brain and hence avoidable. In this book, the author argues that loneliness is actively constituted by acts of reflexive self-consciousness (Kant) and transcendent intentionality (Husserl) and is, therefore, unavoidable. This work employs a historical, conceptual, and interdisciplinary approach (philosophy, psychology, literature, sociology, etc.) criticizing both psychoanalysis and neuroscience. The book pits materialism, mechanism, determinism, empiricism, phenomenalism, behaviorism, and the neurosciences against dualism, both subjective and objective idealism, rationalism, freedom, phenomenology, and existentialism. It offers a dynamic of loneliness, whose spontaneous subconscious sources undercuts the unconscious of Freud and the “computerism” of the neurosciences by challenging their claims to be predictive sciences. "Mijuscovic demonstrates a psychological framework in which the self is motivated by a fear of loneliness and the desire for intimacy. The author thoroughly substantiates his perspective via a ‘History of Ideas’ format, which engages Plato’s metaphor of ‘the Battle between the Gods and the Giants,’ an allusion to the historical debate between idealists and materialists. Ultimately, these two groups and their allies attempt to address the question: can senseless matter think? The idealists, with whom Mijuscovic identifies, assert the reality of the self, reflexive self-consciousness, and the spontaneity of the mind." -Joshua Marcus Cragle, University of Amsterdam, Journal of Thought, Fall/Winter 2019 "Ben Mijuskovic continues his ambitious life project in this fifth installment of an interdisciplinary series in consciousness and loneliness within philosophical, psychological, and literary discourse. Mijuskovic possesses the unique combination of academic, clinical, and professional experience to cross the aisle between philosophers and therapists. Such a CV emboldens his argument for a return to a metaphysical argument for human consciousness culminating in intrinsic and inevitable loneliness. Embracing this universal reality is the first step to philosophical grounding and psychological wholeness. His methodology, argumentation, and conclusions tend to be highly provocative in the age of contemporary neuroscientific and pharmaceutical predominance." -Michael D. Bobo, Norco College, Philosophy in Review 40.1 (February 2020)
[Abstract] The purpose of this research study was to investigate the question, "What is the experience of becoming autonomous within the context of an intimate relationship?" Through the heuristic modality I was able to develop a question that was significant to my own life. I wanted to know it, understand it as fully as possible. I chose to explore its significance in my life and in the lives of those I chose as my co-researchers. My inner searching began when the question emerged and it and continued throughout the entire process of my research. Part of my immersion process was a conscious effort to review pertinent literature. Another part was to gather data from my participants. To gather data from myself I used journalizing and walking in solitude, keeping my question always with me. At the same time, I gathered information through taped interviews from ten others who were interested in and familiar with my question. Upon completion of the taped interviews, the data was handled and the findings emerged. After a process of distillation, I found that the data revealed that the experience of becoming autonomous within the context of an intimate relationship is a process. This process encompasses four cornerstones. The cornerstones are - responsibility, choice, independence and effective communication. Each one is vital to the concept of autonomy and to the autonomous person's ability to maintain intimate relationships. The study concludes with applications and implications for the individual, the therapist and the educator. With knowledge of autonomy within intimate relationships, an individual can enhance his or her life and have a wider horizon for the future.
Intimacy is a complex and heterogeneous concept that has generated a variety of definitions, theories, and philosophies over the years. Al though there is much disagreement about the essential meaning of the term, there seems to be a consensus that intimacy, whatever it may be, is of central importance in human relationships, and specifically, in the theory and practice of psychotherapy. One approach to intimacy focuses on an intrapsychic conception. Intimacy occurs when an individual achieves full self-knowledge, and is fully in touch with his or her feelings and wishes. From this viewpoint, an intimate act occurs when a person is willing to share these feelings and wishes with another, so that self-disclosure becomes an important index of intimacy. This definition also implies that intimacy need not be reciprocal, so that a therapeutic relationship can achieve a good deal of intimacy without the therapist engaging in self-disclosure. An alternate approach to intimacy stresses the interpersonal nature of the concept. Intimacy is seen as the product of an interaction, and can only occur between people. Each one is able to touch something meaningful in the other, whether at a conscious, behavioral level or an unconscious and inferential level. Therapists seeking intimacy in these terms would probably be a good deal more active, and consider it more important to reveal something of the substance of their own persons, if not the facts of their lives.
Ben Lazare Mijuskovic has spent 40 years researching theories of consciousness in relation to human loneliness, using an interdisciplinary and "history of ideas" approach. In this book, Mijuskovic combines Kant's theory of reflexive self-consciousness with Husserl's transcendent principle of intentionality to describe the distinctive philosophical, psychological, and sociological roots of loneliness and intimacy. He argues that loneliness is innate, unavoidable, and constituted by the structure of self-consciousness itself.
A comprehensive collection of Virginia Satir’s research and teachings around the nature of humanity, author Barbara Jo Brothers has written the first ever tribute to the Mother of Family Therapy’s life-work, capturing the essence of Satir’s groundbreaking philosophies about the human race and the impact human’s have on the Earth. In her career, the “Mother of Family Therapy” Virginia Satir strove to make life work better: for the individual, for families, for the entire world. With a training objective of “becoming more fully human,” Virginia believed that the principles for peace within families could be extrapolated to peace within the “world family.” Having formulated her groundbreaking philosophies from her clinical observations of hundreds of families in multiple countries, Virginia’s practices continue to impact the world at large, spreading peace and understanding. More than just a testament to Virginia’s legacy, Well-Being Writ Large is a window into her thinking—a “biography” of a deeper understanding of the nature of the human being and how that human being might live better in her or his world. Author, licensed clinical social worker, and Virginia scholar Barbara Jo Brothers has painstakingly researched and drawn from Virginia’s works—including books, articles, interviews, and transcribed lectures—personal notes made over the course of Satir’s career, and direct conversations during Brothers’s own extensive residential training to compile the most complete, most essential collection of Virginia Satir’s work.
In this book, Ben Lazare Mijuskovic uses both an interdisciplinary and History of Ideas approach to discuss four forms of intertwined theories of human consciousness and reflexive self-consciousness (Plato, Augustine, Descartes, Leibniz, Kant, and Hegel; Schopenhauer’s subconscious irrational Will; Brentano and Husserl’s transcendent intentionality; and Freud’s dynamic ego). Mijuskovic explores these theories within the context of psychological issues, where the discussion is undergirded by the conflict between loneliness and intimacy. He also explores them in the context of ethics, where the dynamic is between the values of good and evil. The book historically traces these issues in both a personal as well as a political framework.
Countless experts offer us advice on how to create the "perfect relationship," fostering the unrealistic expectation that forming an intimate bond will be a painless experience. Unfortunately, few experts are willing to confront the powerful challenges and emotions inherent within close relationships today. In contrast to other intimacy books, Too Close for Comfort vividly describes the surprising dangers, damage to self-esteem, inadequacies, and immaturities that characterize the contemporary state of romantic intimacy. Too Close for Comfort compassionately explores the risks and misunderstandings that occur within many intimate relationships. Romantic partners tend to hurt each other not only by insensitivity and neglect, but also by criticism, abuse, and betrayal - most of which spring from insecurity. Dr. Piorkowski, a noted consulting psychologist and educator, focuses on the vulnerability both partners experience in intimacy due to the emergence of strong, unrealistic needs that are almost impossible to satisfy. The author contends that people avoid the perils of intimacy by donning one or more defensive "masks" - ranging from acting superior to mysterious, comical to withdrawn, self-sufficient to dependent - in an effort to protect themselves from emotional exposure. Presenting a fascinating range of clinical examples, she sensitively depicts the fears of intimacy that limit contact, namely psychological concerns about loss of control or autonomy, feelings of disappointment and abandonment, or of being attacked and made to feel guilty. Depicting women's reliance on verbal expression to achieve an emotional connection versus men's dependence on physical contact, Dr. Piorkowski brilliantly elucidates the complex barriers to intimacy, especially the chasms of misunderstanding created by vast sexual differences and attitudes. While this book is unique in its exposition of the dangers in intimacy, its message is not pessimistic.