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Know your Mornington Crescent from your Cheddar Gorge? Are you partial to a bad-tempered clavier? Would you like some unhelpful travel advice? Featuring the very best moments from a forty-year history of broadcasting, Stephen Fry introduces this indispensable companion to I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, the Radio 4 comedy series which attracts millions of listeners each week. Featuring hilarious excerpts from the show's favourite games including: The Uxbridge English Dictionary, Famous First Words, the Trail of the Lonesome Pun and Late Arrivals as well as much much more, this book is essential for Clue fans young and old. For those new to Clue, there's a Beginner's Guide on how to play Mornington Crescent and numerous games which are fun and easy to play at home and guaranteed to entertain.
Hello there! You'll have had your tea? Dougal here. Well, here we go, with our wee book. It's a collection or pot pourri (I've no idea what Hamish means by that - it sounds like something to do with the Pope) of our activities or 'doings' in the village we call home, because that's exactly what it is. Together with our housekeeper, Mrs Naughtie, and of course, the Laird who lives up at the big hoose and shoots grouse and other bottles of whisky, these are the actual scripts of our wee show which we performed on the wireless, when most of you were probably in bed! Hamish and I have known each other all our lives - well, not yet, obviously! We have a very close relationship and also with each other. Mrs Naughtie been with us since we first met her at the Krankie Arms, where she was working as part-time barmaid and bouncer. In addition to the scripts you'll find all kinds of other things tucked away under its kilt. There's a hectic social life in the village. You'll visit the 'bide a wee' café, proud possessor of three Michelin tyres. You'll have a conducted tour of the big hoose by Big Tam, our local guide (not during opening hours). You'll marvel at the site of the Battle of Auchtermuchty, now allotments. You'll peek into the Laird's social diary in 'oot and aboot' (40p at the post office). And a great deal more. Well, I hope this wee note will make you hurry to the till and spend the terrible amount of money these wee books cost these days. But then again this particular wee book is Scotland's answer to Richard and Judy! Hurrah! Away now ...
The first course was The Complete Limericks Collection which sold over 30,000 copies in the trade last Autumn. Now the team is ready to expose every bit of their talent assisted by Sven, Samantha and Mrs Trellis. Profoundly illustrated we revisit: the Late Arrives at the Ball, Celebrity Lonely Hearts, Famous Unsuccessful Chat Up Lines, Famous First Words, Hitler's Diaries (ideas for fraudulent diaries from other famous folk), Unhelpful Advice (the team supplies unhelpful advice to among many a sex education class and new parliamentarians), Mrs Trellis' Letters, Name That Barcode, National Anthems (suggestions for unusual anthems for countries around the world), Humphrey's Opening Links, Proverbs in Translation, Through the Keyhole, Topical Nursery Rhymes, Low budget Remakes of Famous Films... and much more. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is the most listened to comedy programme on British radio, an institution with regular panellists Tim Brooke Taylor, Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and until 1996 Willie Rushton, being given silly things to do by jazz supremo Humphrey Lyttelton. Listener figures are now over 2 million each week and is now aired also on Radio Two the only radio comedy show
'It's a great missing piece of the jigsaw - people go on endlessly about Python and Peter Cook, which is all well and good but there's basically this great corpus of work stretching for decades - and consistently good ... A major piece of work, and universally loved.' So says John Lloyd, brains behind Blackadder, QI, Spitting Image, and so much besides - all shows with a massive debt to I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. Together they form a body of work stretching across five decades, from Cambridge in 1960 to today's world-beating Antidote to Panel Games, a laughter-bringer which has inspired unparalleled adoration in millions over fifty series. This book tells the whole story, from Footlights to Broadway to the ferret-filled madness of Radio Prune - comedy's answer to the rock & roll revolution of the sixties. Offering an exhaustive guide to the comedy world that brought us Mornington Crescent, besides episode guides, glossaries and rare facsimiles, Jem Roberts will take the story right up to the present day, celebrating the lives of Willie Rushton, Sir David Hatch and of course, the irreplaceable Humphrey Lyttelton. With exclusive input from the Teams, plus Bill Oddie, Stephen Fry, Bill Bailey, Neil Innes and many more, this is the long-overdue authoritative, entertaining and, above all, very silly lasting celebration of an unsung comic legacy that both shows so richly deserve.
My name is Amber Reynolds. There are three things you should know about me: 1. I’m in a coma. 2. My husband doesn’t love me anymore. 3. Sometimes I lie. Amber wakes up in a hospital. She can’t move. She can’t speak. She can’t open her eyes. She can hear everyone around her, but they have no idea. Amber doesn’t remember what happened, but she has a suspicion her husband had something to do with it. Alternating between her paralyzed present, the week before her accident, and a series of childhood diaries from twenty years ago, this brilliant psychological thriller asks: Is something really a lie if you believe it's the truth?
With The Uxbridge English Dictionary the stars of BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue had the nation in stitches. But times move on, words change and their meanings with them. Comedy's most outrageous dictionary is back with a hilarious new collection of definitions for all those English words that don't mean anything like they should. If you have ever pondered the meaning of Platypus (to give your cat pigtails), Flemish (rather like snot) or Celtic (a prison for fleas), then this is the book for you. With nearly 600 new definitions from radio's best loved comedy show, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, The New Uxbridge English Dictionary pushes the boundaries of the English language to new side-splitting limits. A must for any fan of British comedy.
INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “A superb suspense writer…Brava, Ruth Ware. I daresay even Henry James would be impressed.” —Maureen Corrigan, author of So We Read On “This appropriately twisty Turn of the Screw update finds the Woman in Cabin 10 author in her most menacing mode, unfurling a shocking saga of murder and deception.” —Entertainment Weekly From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Lying Game and The Death of Mrs. Westaway comes this thrilling novel that explores the dark side of technology. When she stumbles across the ad, she’s looking for something else completely. But it seems like too good an opportunity to miss—a live-in nannying post, with a staggeringly generous salary. And when Rowan Caine arrives at Heatherbrae House, she is smitten—by the luxurious “smart” home fitted out with all modern conveniences, by the beautiful Scottish Highlands, and by this picture-perfect family. What she doesn’t know is that she’s stepping into a nightmare—one that will end with a child dead and herself in prison awaiting trial for murder. Writing to her lawyer from prison, she struggles to explain the events that led to her incarceration. It wasn’t just the constant surveillance from the home’s cameras, or the malfunctioning technology that woke the household with booming music, or turned the lights off at the worst possible time. It wasn’t just the girls, who turned out to be a far cry from the immaculately behaved model children she met at her interview. It wasn’t even the way she was left alone for weeks at a time, with no adults around apart from the enigmatic handyman. It was everything. She knows she’s made mistakes. She admits that she lied to obtain the post, and that her behavior toward the children wasn’t always ideal. She’s not innocent, by any means. But, she maintains, she’s not guilty—at least not of murder—but somebody is. Full of spellbinding menace and told in Ruth Ware’s signature suspenseful style, The Turn of the Key is an unputdownable thriller from the Agatha Christie of our time.
Based on the Radio 4 programme.
Do words fail you? Never again, once you've become the proud owner of The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary. Every word has a meaning, but over the years those meanings change. Dip into these helpfully illustrated pages and you'll find many of the words you use every day without ever realising that their up-to-date definition is something entirely different. Words like 'bunny' (rather like a bun), or 'cherish' (rather like a chair), 'Cardiology' (the study of knitwear) or 'buggery' (the study of insects), 'Venezuala' (a gondola with a harpoon) or 'Norway' (a Geordie exclamation of surprise), 'ivy' (the Roman for "four") or 'faculty' (cockney for "there's no more PG Tips"). Thanks to The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary you can now use familiar, everyday words in total confidence, fully appraised of their latest meanings. Happy wording!