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Newly single and ready to embrace life, Lopez was excited to turn 50. He spent his entire 49th year waiting for the calendar to flip to that magic number. But it suddenly hit him: he was old. From dating younger women to fighting the uphill battle of staying in shape, he tells the unabashed, and often hilarious, truth about aging--as only he can.
From one of the most celebrated and beloved comedians and actors of our time, George Lopez, comes this hilarious, touching, and often wacky chronicle of life after fifty. George Lopez just hit the half-century mark and the reset button on his life. Newly single and ready to embrace life, George was excited to turn fifty. It would be a welcome new phase in his life, a chance to say goodbye to a decade that included a kidney transplant and a divorce. But when he looked around a room full of his childhood friends, all gathered to celebrate his birthday, many now bald or overweight, it suddenly hit him that he was old. What happened? And more importantly, what was he going to do about it? George learns the hard way that when you turn 50, everything changes. You pull a muscle in your sleep. You avoid mirrors at all costs, and always, always wear a robe. You have to schedule an appointment to have sex. You have to dye your hair and buy a bathtub with a door. As George learns to embrace life after fifty, he invites readers into his world, sharing the ups and downs of getting older—from his relationship with a much younger woman to a bizarre session with a pet psychic, to a trip behind-the-scenes at his tumultuous two years at Lopez Tonight, to an intimate look at his sacred ground, the golf course—and, for the first time, he reveals in moving detail, the story of the battle for his life against kidney disease. I’m Not Gonna Lie will make you laugh at yourself, cry about yourself, and look at turning fifty in a way you never would’ve imagined—through the eyes of George Lopez.
My eyes are filled with tears. I dont even know what to do anymore. His breath warms up my neck. I guess this is goodbye, I say. I guess so, he responds. I never thought this moment would come. Its the moment in which we are forced to say goodbye. Will you marry me? he asks. Suddenly I freeze. I feel like everyones eyes are now focused on us. The sun shines brighter than ever this time of July. The strong breeze awakes me. Yes. Yes. A million times yes, I say sarcastically. I dont know if I meant it or if I was still in shock, but this is all happening too fast. He takes my hands in his. I promise I will make you the happiest woman in the world because you have made me the happiest man in the world. Uh-huh. I nod. He gets up and kisses me.
Shares uplifting advice about the virtues of forgiveness, offering strategic and biblically based advice on how to achieve peace and personal fulfillment by letting go of past wrongs.
From Erin Smith--a hip, irreverent visual artist with a nationally distributed gift line and a unique, pitch-perfect look--comes a mash-up of art, essays, and laugh-out-loud observations designed to find humour in the everyday mundane. Includes hilarious make-your-day quotes like: 'I'm so damn happy it's like discovering blue cheese olives all over again.'
Three former CIA officers--the world's foremost authorities on recognizing deceptive behavior--share their techniques for spotting a lie with thrilling anecdotes from the authors' careers in counterintelligence.
Louie Giglio helps you find encouragement, hope, and strength in the midst of any valley as you reject the enemy voices of fear, rage, lust, insecurity, anxiety, despair, temptation, or defeat. Scripture is clear: the Enemy is a liar who will stop at nothing to tempt you into poor decisions and self-defeating mindsets, making you feel afraid, angry, anxious, or defeated. It is all too easy for Satan to weasel his way into a seat at the table intended for only you and your King. But you can fight back. Don't Give the Enemy a Seat at Your Table outlines the ways to overcome those lies so you can find peace and security in any challenging circumstance or situation. With the same bold, exciting approach to Scripture as employed in Goliath Must Fall and his other previous works, pastor Louie Giglio examines Psalm 23 in fresh ways, highlighting verse 5: "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies." You can find freedom from insecurity, temptation, and defeat--if you allow Jesus, the Shepherd, to lead the battle for your mind and heart. This spiritual warfare book for those who are leery of spiritual warfare books will resonate with Louie's core Passion tribe as well as with Christians of all ages who want to live a triumphant life in God.
On the one hand, nobody wants to be a dick. On the other hand, dicks are everywhere! They cut in line, talk behind our backs, recline into our seats, and even have the power to morph into trolls online. Their powers are impressive, but with a little foresight and thoughtfulness, we can take a stand against dickishness today. How Not to Be a Dick is packed with honest and straightforward advice, but it also includes playful illustrations showing two well-meaning (but not always well behaved) young people as they confront moments of potential dickishness in their everyday lives. Sometimes they falter, sometimes they triumph, but they always seek to find a better way. And with their help, you can too. Just see the agreement at the beginning of the book: I pledge to use the tools and techniques provided in this book to help make the world a less dickish place. "Doherty fires absurd twenty-first-century zingers that happen to be really, really, really funny."—starred, Booklist
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What did a high-priced hooker and a low-class sex-offender have in common? It was-according to police-their lust for stalking, raping, and terrorizing young women and girls, in once case as young as thirteen-years-old. Michelle Michaud and her husky-voiced boyfriend James A. "Froggy" Daveggio used to hang around the local high school in search of their prey-and are suspected of brutally raping numerous women in the gutted van that was rigged to strap down their victims. But they may have gone farther than that... When the body of 22-year-old Vanessa Lei Sampson was found by the side of a California highway, police zeroed in on Michaud and Daveggio, who may be responsible for the young woman's murder, as well as numerous rapes. In a case as strange and gruesome as fiction-one of the few in which a woman has taken part in sexual assault-author Carlton Smith explores the twisted motives and shocking exploits of this dark and deadly duo.