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Celebrate the art of living loud with the sassiest, smartest, hottest gift book From Erin Smith-a hip, irreverent visual artist with a nationally distributed gift line and a unique, pitch-perfect look-comes a mash-up of art, essays, and laugh-out-loud observations designed to find humor in the everyday mundane. Includes hilarious make-your-day quotes like: "The super girl cape is in the laundry...you'll just have to take my word for it." "I'm so damn happy it's like discovering blue cheese olives all over again." "As much as I try to be an easygoing, stretch-your-wings and-fly type, I just can't stop trying to burst people into flames with my mind." ...and many more!
Newly single and ready to embrace life, Lopez was excited to turn 50. He spent his entire 49th year waiting for the calendar to flip to that magic number. But it suddenly hit him: he was old. From dating younger women to fighting the uphill battle of staying in shape, he tells the unabashed, and often hilarious, truth about aging--as only he can.
From one of the most celebrated and beloved comedians and actors of our time, George Lopez, comes this hilarious, touching, and often wacky chronicle of life after fifty. George Lopez just hit the half-century mark and the reset button on his life. Newly single and ready to embrace life, George was excited to turn fifty. It would be a welcome new phase in his life, a chance to say goodbye to a decade that included a kidney transplant and a divorce. But when he looked around a room full of his childhood friends, all gathered to celebrate his birthday, many now bald or overweight, it suddenly hit him that he was old. What happened? And more importantly, what was he going to do about it? George learns the hard way that when you turn 50, everything changes. You pull a muscle in your sleep. You avoid mirrors at all costs, and always, always wear a robe. You have to schedule an appointment to have sex. You have to dye your hair and buy a bathtub with a door. As George learns to embrace life after fifty, he invites readers into his world, sharing the ups and downs of getting older—from his relationship with a much younger woman to a bizarre session with a pet psychic, to a trip behind-the-scenes at his tumultuous two years at Lopez Tonight, to an intimate look at his sacred ground, the golf course—and, for the first time, he reveals in moving detail, the story of the battle for his life against kidney disease. I’m Not Gonna Lie will make you laugh at yourself, cry about yourself, and look at turning fifty in a way you never would’ve imagined—through the eyes of George Lopez.
Marshal Annabelle "Cowgirl" Oakley is the best law enforcement officer in Interstellar Coalition Enforcement. With her wolf Tucker at her side, Belle is clearly the best man for the job. Unfortunately, the job comes with hazards, and one of those hazards comes in the shape of tall, mysterious Armand. Armand de le Croix is a werewolf with amnesia. He has no idea how he came to be living in Coalition space, he doesn't know where his people are, or why his inky black hair is now snowy white. He just knows that the tall, dangerous redhead is all that he wants, and he means to have her regardless of what he must do to win. When they meet, it's magic. When they part, it's mayhem!
"Metalhead 2.0" Part 2! Donatello realizes that Metalhead is now following a new programing protocol and must make a drastic decision before it's too late! Will the robot end up as an enemy or ally?
New York Times bestselling author Christopher Rice brilliantly conjures the shadowed terrors of the Louisiana bayou—where three friends confront a deadly, ancient evil rising to the surface—in this intense and atmospheric new supernatural thriller. It’s been a decade since the Delongpre family vanished near Bayou Rabineaux, and still no one can explain the events of that dark and sweltering night. No one except Niquette Delongpre, the survivor who ran away from the mangled stretch of guardrail on Highway 22 where the impossible occurred…and kept on running. Who left behind her best friends, Ben and Anthem, to save them from her newfound capacity for destruction…and who alone knows the source of her very bizarre—and very deadly—abilities: an isolated strip of swampland called Elysium. An accomplished surgeon, Niquette’s father dreamed of transforming the dense acreage surrounded by murky waters into a palatial compound befitting the name his beloved wife gave to it, Elysium: “the final resting place for the heroic and virtuous.” Then, ten years ago, construction workers dug into a long-hidden well, one that snaked down into the deep, black waters of the Louisiana swamp and stirred something that had been there for centuries—a microscopic parasite that perverts the mind and corrupts the body. Niquette is living proof that things done can’t be undone. Nothing will put her family back together again. And nothing can save her. But as Niquette, Ben, and Anthem uncover the truth of a devastating parasite that has the potential to alter the future of humankind, Niquette grasps the most chilling truths of all: someone else has been infected too. And unlike her, this man is not content to live in the shadows. He is intent to use his newfound powers for one reason only: revenge.
Jack Searle is an American widower, bringing up his two stepdaughters Lidia and Marina alone in the border town of Laredo after losing his wife to cancer. Jack often takes the girls to visit their Mexican family over the border in Nuevo Laredo. Marina, the elder sister, persuades him to let her go there without him one night, to attend a concert with her cousin Patricia. Jack wants to say no - Nuevo Laredo is a very dangerous city, controlled by drug cartels and devastated by violence and corruption. But eventually he agrees - she's growing up and he has to let her have some independence. Marina and Patricia head out to the concert, but they never come back. A frantic hunt for them begins, with Jack leading the way. But this is Nuevo Laredo, and girls go missing all the time here. They're lucky to find that a good cop - Gonzalo Soler - is leading their investigation, but soon the whole police force is suspended due to endemic corruption. The army take over the city, and finding the missing girls is not their priority. To survive this nightmare and have any chance of finding Marina and Patricia, Jack and Gonzalo must take the law into their own hands. Their efforts to find the girls become more and more dangerous, and they uncover truths about the city of Nuevo Laredo that neither one of them ever wanted to face.
You can run from the past, but you can’t hide forever. Reeling from her sister’s murder, the bloodthirsty cat she inherited, and her new status as a med school dropout, Merit Reid’s world is already on fire when she discovers her best friend, Heidi, brutally murdered in a remote cabin in the forest. A loving mother, dedicated park ranger and generous baker, Heidi has a lot of friends, but someone hated her enough to string her up by her ankles and slit her throat. When the detective investigating Heidi’s death proves just as sloppy and self-interested as he was with Merit’s sister’s case, she drags herself out of her grief to get justice for Heidi on her own – and lands in the crosshairs of a killer. Join Merit Reid in her very first investigation in this riveting crime thriller set in the heart of the Cuyahoga Valley National Park.
USA TODAY BESTSELLING AUTHORS Megan Linski and Alicia Rades ignite a magical three-book box set of heartstopping romance, incredible fantasy worlds, and found family. Sophia is prophesied to save her tribe, but times have never been darker, and the Elders have never been more desperate. To prevent her people from going extinct, she’ll have to use her power to summon her ancestors, train magical creatures, and make a sacrifice that’ll change her world forever. Liam has battled for the right to be with Sophia, and their forbidden romance is about to launch the Elementai into a war. To fight back against injustice, he must become the leader he’s always been destined to be, and bring the tribe into a new era. The fate of the Hawkei will be determined in the greatest battle of their time. In the end, Sophia and Liam will choose between saving their tribe… and saving their family. *** Academy of Magical Creatures: Books 4-6 includes the last three books in a captivating and supernatural magic academy series. Cast elemental spells, ride dragons and find forever friends in this college-age paranormal love story featuring a diverse cast and disabled main characters. Over 1700+ pages of magical beings and epic battles! This title is one omnibus in a set of Hidden Legends collections. The Hidden Legends Universe features college-aged protagonists attending magical academies, dual points-of-view, disabled and diverse main characters, and steamy, empowering romances. Omnibus sets connected to this series include University of Sorcery, College of Witchcraft, and Prison for Supernatural Offenders. Recommended reading age 18+ Search terms: paranormal romance, fantasy romance, urban fantasy, box set, complete series, magical books, academy books, new adult fantasy
“With honor and faith, we vow to keep safe those in our charge. Our lives for theirs, until our bodies turn to ash and our fire runs cold.” At the hands of their adoptive father, the brothers Wessex have learned combat, stealth, and above all, honor. Together they are an elite, and secret, force of Shifters working for the federal government. The Wyvern Protection Unit is the only one of its kind. They have sworn a duty to protect and serve wherever they are needed. Can a nerdy, curvy, good girl be tempted to sin by her smoking hot protector? Larimar Wessex is bored. Dead bored. Like seriously. With his brother newly mated, and his father on the mend, there is nothing for him to do but wait for his next assignment. Ready for battle, this Wyvern should’ve been careful with what he wished for. Recently returned from an archeological dig , Kimberley Scott is being blamed for the theft of certain priceless artifacts. But that isn’t all. There is a deeper, more sinister plot afoot, and Kim finds herself at the mercy of a man who is prepared to do the unimaginable to get what he wants. When she is attacked during routine questioning by a government agent, the decision is made to call in some secret supernatural backup. Larimar Wessex knows the second he sees her photograph the curvy human is his fated mate. But can he convince her without scaring her to death? His Wyvern is desperate to see her safe, but helping her is just the tip of the iceberg. Will Larimar save his tempting mate before time runs out? KEYWORDS: alpha male hero, dragon shifter, shifter romance, urban fantasy, fantasy romance, HEA paranormal romance, human mate, curvy girl romance ebook, paranormal fiction series, strong heroine, curvy girl romance novel, shifter mates, fated mates, instalove romance, christmas paranormal romance, sexy shifter book, sexy paranormal romance book, steamy paranormal romance novel, steamy shifter mates, strangers to lovers, instant attraction, heat level, claiming bite, fated mates novella, soul mates, destined mates, clan fated mates series, shifter mates ebook, paranormal romance series, federal unit fated mate series complete, curvy heroine romance, curvy girl reads, bbw romance, dragon shifter, wyvern shifter, egyptian deity, egyptian demon, romantic comedy, PNR romcom, romcom series