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We just can’t get enough of the funny stuff kids say. We share our own children’s gems with friends and family. If we’re smart, we write down these scraps of accidental poetry. And we turn them into books. Martin Bruckner is an artist and father who not only recorded the sayings of his daughter, Harper, but used each as the inspiration for a work of art. After posting them on social media, Bruckner became the artist that other parents sought out to transform their own children’s funny words into artwork. Collected here are 100 mini-posters of pure delight, a marriage of the children’s surprising wisdom and the artist’s nimble style, plus the occasional backstory that amplifies both. Every parent will recognize the spirited declarations of personality—“I’m training to be a wolf.” The endearing mangling of language—“Mommy, I don’t need your mouth to talk to me right now.” The creative mixing of metaphors—“I need a tissue to wipe my feelings.” Those precious, heartbreaking outbursts without guile or filters—“I only love you at the toy store.” Illustrated with sweetness and whimsy, each is a window into the irresistible innocence of childhood, even if the sentiment is “Dad, please wipe the bum of this beautiful princess.”
Funny Romanitc Valentines Day Gifts for Him / Her College-Ruled Paperback Notebook A perfect gift for Valentine's Day or other occasions. Show your loved one how much he means to you. 110 pages Perfectly sized: 8.5x11 Interior: White paper Cover: Matte
This is not your run-of-the-mill fitness book. Developed by world-renowned gluteal expert Bret Contreras, Strong Curves offers an extensive fitness and nutrition guide for women seeking to improve their physique, function, strength, and mobility. Contreras spent the last eighteen years researching and field-testing the best methods for building better butts and shapelier bodies. In Strong Curves, he offers the programs that have proven effective time and time again with his clients, allowing you to develop lean muscle, rounded glutes, and greater confidence. Each page is packed with information decoding the female anatomy, providing a better understanding as to why most fitness programs fail to help women reach their goals. With a comprehensive nutritional guide and over 200 strength exercises, this book gets women off the treadmill and furnishes their drive to achieve strength, power, and sexy curves from head to toe. Although the glutes are the largest and most powerful muscle group in the human body, they often go dormant due to lifestyle choices, leading to a flat, saggy bum. Strong Curves is the cure.
Booty Jokes
To Kale and Back is a self-help book for people who are ready to find their best body, confidence, and life. In this humorous and inspiring how-to guide you’ll discover how to create your dream life with the foundation of a healthy body and mind. You’ll learn how to have your cake and eat it too, love yourself and your body like Kanye loves Kanye, and use your newly acquired healthy body and confidence to live your absolute best life. Transformational holistic health coach, Diana Matuszak, takes the guess work out of food, fitness, and life to help you find your dream body and confidence without saying no to things you love like pancakes or wine. Heck yes! With chapter by chapter action steps, you’ll take what you learn and apply it to your every day life and begin finding success today. Not only will you leave with a smile and a laugh, you’ll be well on your way to your most balanced healthy lifestyle, finding your dream body, and using the confidence you build to go after the life you truly want to be living.
First published under the title 5,000 great one-liners. London: Robson Press, 2012.
I love you more than I love cake. And I really like cake. Romantic declarations don’t need to be all lovey-dovey: they can be amusingly honest or laced with profanity! Forget the mushy stuff you see in the movies – this book is loaded with down-to-earth proclamations and witty one-liners that will let a special someone know how you really feel.
MOM: did you spill ice on the floor? DAUGHTER: it was an accident. MOM: so were you. Whether it is a dad not knowing how to work the phone or trying to sound "hip," a mom accidentally sending a "sext" to her own son, or parents posing a clever retort that puts their kid in his place, parents and their kids send each other the craziest texts. Crazy Things Parents Text features the best all-new user submitted parent texts from the web sensation, www.crazythingsparentstext.com. Inside you'll find countless hours of LOL, LMFAO, and WTF across hundreds of hilarious texts. And remember kids, keep texting. And parents, keep texting crazy things. We love it, and it makes us love you more.
My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.