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Learn how to be the funniest, most wisecracking mom around! Mom, does your family drive you crazy? Do you enjoy complaining to your girlfriends about your husband and your in-laws? Do you need some inspiration for how to respond to your kids’ whining and begging? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you! This comedic collection of witty one-liners and sarcastic retorts is for any mom in need of a good laugh and some appreciation for all of her hard work. Included are jokes such as: Mother (noun): One person who does the work of twenty. For free. Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend. Daughter: Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? Mom: I don’t know, dear, you’ll have to ask your grandma. There’s a legend that if you go take a shower and scream “MOM!” three times, a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot! Jokes for Moms will leave you laughing out loud and rolling your eyes in agreement before you can even say, “Because I said so!”
When you’ve spent a lifetime narrating television shows, doing voice work on commercials, and navigating the music business, you hear some jokes. Pat Duke, the beloved narrator of the smash hit Swamp People on The History Channel, shares a hysterical and thought-provoking collection of punchlines, one-line zingers, observations, and advice on a variety of topics. Nothing is off limits: You’ll enjoy laugh-out-loud moments about work, retirement, marriage, divorce, drinking, drugs, religion, obesity, vegans, kids, parents, life, death, sleep, farts, and poop. Mostly these are jokes, but the author sprinkles in sage advice as well as stories about the flat-out weird. The book includes three “groaners,” six Golden Oldies, and a tendency to channel Rodney Dangerfield. The author doesn’t know where that comes from. Is it politically correct? No. Is it misogynistic. No. (Well, maybe a little.) Honestly, the author loves women. And women? Why are you reading this? Stop. Everyone else, pull up a throne, sit for a while, and laugh your butt off with Thoughts on the Pot.
Facebook Quotes and Status Updates Volume 1 is the perfect read for lovers of quotes that are edgy, slightly "out there" and sometimes R-Rated. These are not your usual quotes! These quotes will have you laughing out loud, shaking your head or saying. "Oh, no, he (or she) didn't!" This book brims with quotes on a wide range of accessible topics. Who can't relate to quotes about love, marriage, or relationships? Since we all grow older and age, the chapter on aging is a goldmine for anyone facing a major age milestone or dreaded birthday. There is an entertaining chapter packed with alcohol and drinking quotes and a chapter filled with quotes on miscellaneous topics. For salty souls, the final chapter is relegated to R-Rated quotes. This is not your grandmother's quote book. That is, unless she drank, fell in love, aged, and cursed like a sailor!
This sarcastic and funny drinking winenotebook is the perfect size to give as a Mother's Day gift, friendship gift, girl friend gifts, staff gifts or team gifts at the office or at work. With a shabby chic kraft cover, a blunt typewriter text, and lightly lined college ruled pages, this notebook is a gift sized...perfect sitting on a desk or bedside table. Perfect for teachers, busy moms, women who love to drink, administrators, CEOs, administrative assistants, secretary appreciation, or for colleague and coworker gifts! Use it for journaling, taking notes, jotting down lists, or to write in as a diary. Convenient 6"x9" size....throw it in your bag or purse! Features Premium Matte Finish Soft Cover Bright White Interior Stock A Convenient 6" x 9" size 100 pages (50 pages front/back)
In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health
This Naked Mind has ignited a movement across the country, helping thousands of people forever change their relationship with alcohol. Many people question whether drinking has become too big a part of their lives, and worry that it may even be affecting their health. But, they resist change because they fear losing the pleasure and stress-relief associated with alcohol, and assume giving it up will involve deprivation and misery. This Naked Mind offers a new, positive solution. Here, Annie Grace clearly presents the psychological and neurological components of alcohol use based on the latest science, and reveals the cultural, social, and industry factors that support alcohol dependence in all of us. Packed with surprising insight into the reasons we drink, this book will open your eyes to the startling role of alcohol in our culture, and how the stigma of alcoholism and recovery keeps people from getting the help they need. With Annie’s own extraordinary and candid personal story at its heart, this book is a must-read for anyone who drinks. This Naked Mind will give you freedom from alcohol. It removes the psychological dependence so that you will not crave alcohol, allowing you to easily drink less (or stop drinking). With clarity, humor, and a unique blend of science and storytelling, This Naked Mind will open the door to the life you have been waiting for. “You have given me my live back.” —Katy F., Albuquerque, New Mexico “This is an inspiring and groundbreaking must-read. I am forever inspired and changed.” —Kate S., Los Angeles, California “The most selfless and amazing book that I have ever read.” —Bernie M., Dublin, Ireland
"Meticulously researched history…look[s] at how wine and Western civilization grew up together." —Dave McIntyre, Washington Post Because science and technology have opened new avenues for vintners, our taste in wine has grown ever more diverse. Wine is now the subject of careful chemistry and global demand. Paul Lukacs recounts the journey of wine through history—how wine acquired its social cachet, how vintners discovered the twin importance of place and grape, and how a basic need evolved into a realm of choice.
Stories, essays, poems, and personal reminiscences from the sage of Lake Wobegon When, at thirteen, he caught on as a sportswriter for the Anoka Herald, Garrison Keillor set out to become a professional writer, and so he has done—a storyteller, sometime comedian, essayist, newspaper columnist, screenwriter, poet. Now a single volume brings together the full range of his work: monologues from A Prairie Home Companion, stories from The New Yorker and The Atlantic, excerpts from novels, newspaper columns. With an extensive introduction and headnotes, photographs, and memorabilia, The Keillor Reader also presents pieces never before published, including the essays “Cheerfulness” and “What We Have Learned So Far.” Keillor is the founder and host of A Prairie Home Companion, celebrating its fortieth anniversary in 2014. He is the author of nineteen books of fiction and humor, the editor of the Good Poems collections, and a member of the American Academy of Arts and Letters.
Some Glad Morning, Barbara Crooker’s ninth book of poetry, teeters between joy and despair, faith and doubt, the disconnect between lived experience and the written word. Primarily a lyric poet, Crooker is in love with the beauty and mystery of the natural world, even as she recognizes its fragility. But she is also a poet unafraid to write about the consequences of our politics, the great divide. She writes as well about art, with ekphrastic poems on paintings by Hopper, O’Keeffe, Renoir, Matisse, Cézanne, and others. Many of the poems are elegaic in tone, an older writer tallying up her losses. Her work embodies Bruce Springsteen’s dictum, “it ain’t no sin to be glad we’re alive,” as she celebrates the explosion of spring peonies, chocolate mousse, a good martini, hummingbirds’ flashy metallics, the pewter light of September, Darryl Dawkins (late NBA star), saltine crackers. While she recognizes it might all be about to slip away, “Remember that nothing is ever lost,” she writes, and somehow, we do.
Anthropology is the study of all humans in all times in all places. But it is so much more than that. "Anthropology requires strength, valor, and courage," Nancy Scheper-Hughes noted. "Pierre Bourdieu called anthropology a combat sport, an extreme sport as well as a tough and rigorous discipline. ... It teaches students not to be afraid of getting one's hands dirty, to get down in the dirt, and to commit yourself, body and mind. Susan Sontag called anthropology a "heroic" profession." What is the payoff for this heroic journey? You will find ideas that can carry you across rivers of doubt and over mountains of fear to find the the light and life of places forgotten. Real anthropology cannot be contained in a book. You have to go out and feel the world's jagged edges, wipe its dust from your brow, and at times, leave your blood in its soil. In this unique book, Dr. Michael Wesch shares many of his own adventures of being an anthropologist and what the science of human beings can tell us about the art of being human. This special first draft edition is a loose framework for more and more complete future chapters and writings. It serves as a companion to anth101.com, a free and open resource for instructors of cultural anthropology. This 2018 text is a revision of the "first draft edition" from 2017 and includes 7 new chapters.