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He’s undead, overweight, and can’t get a date Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night—whatever you call him—Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can’t see his reflection in a mirror. When he turns into a bat, he can’t get his big ol’ butt off the ground. What’s worse, after more than a century of being undead, he’s watched his neighborhood truly go to hell—and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. See, Jules had always been an equal opportunity kind of vampire. And while he would admit that the blood of a black woman is sweeter than the blood of a white man, Jules never drank more than his fair share of either. Enter Malice X . Young, cocky, and black, Malice warns Jules that his days of feasting on sisters and brothers are over. He tells Jules he’d better confine himself to white victims—or else face the consequences. And then, just to prove he isn’t kidding, Malice burns Jules’s house to the ground. With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese, stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast—Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him . . . without getting a stake through the heart. It’s enough to give a man the blues.
Portly vampire Jules Duchon is in trouble. The High Krewe of Vlad Tepes seeks revenge for Jules's theft of their members' body parts to restore his wife. What can a 400-pound vampire do against a hired assassin who control matter?
After morphing into 187 very large white rats in the name of self-preservation, Jules Duchon is back to his portly self, a member of that secret class of New Orleans citizens known as the undead. Though he would like nothing better than to spend his nights raising hell and biting flesh in his beloved French Quarter, duty calls when an exclusive club of blue blood vampires demands that the 450-pound cabbie find out who is attacking its young and beautiful members. Adding insult to injury, he has to enlist the help of a former foe: a black vampire named Preston. What’s a vampire to do? Without the love of a woman to ease his pain, Jules isn’t convinced that his undead life is worth living. He doesn’t desire Doodlebug (she may be a woman now but Jules knew her back when she was just a boy) any more than he longs for Daphne, a rat catcher who nourishes a crush the size of Jules. No, only Maureen will do. Once a beautiful stripper with nothing but curve after curve to her bodacious body, now she is mere dust in a jar. But Jules will move heaven and earth to get her back . . . even if it means pulling her back from the dead.
After being bitten by a vampire, not only is fifteen-year-old Doug doomed eternally to be fat, but now he must also save himself from the desperate host of a public-access-cable vampire-hunting television show that is on the verge of cancellation.
After Lieutenant Commander August Micholson loses his first ship in battle, he is offered a second chance. His new mission is to take the ironclad gunboat USS James B. Eads on a mission to destroy a hidden rebel boat yard. However, there are more forces at play than the Conferate army. On the Yazoo River, the lieutenant and crew become involved with a slave and his master who planning to use African fire spirits to destroy the Federal armies. Micholson must choose between saving the lives of every American or merging his soul with a demon.
An epic urban fantasy set in New Orleans. A confederation of trickster and bad luck spirits, each sprung from the fears and imaginations of a different ethnic group inhabiting South Louisiana, scheme to magnify the inadequacies of the leadership of the Big Easy in advance of the approach of a tremendous hurricane. Their plan? To midwife a disaster so overwhelming it drives out the entire human population of New Orleans! Who stands between the Crescent City and obliteration? Only a lone traitorous human-lover, Kay Rosenblatt, the weakest member of the Bad Luck Spirits' Social Aid and Pleasure Club.
For the first time in trade paperback: the fifth novel in the #1 New York Times bestselling series from Laurell K. Hamilton. When Branson, Missouri, is hit with a death wave 'four unsolved murders' it doesn't take an expert to realize that all is not well. But luckily for the locals, Anita Blake is an expert in the kinds of preternatural goings-on that have everyone spooked. And she's got an 'in' with the creature that can make sense of the slayings-the sexy master vampire known as Jean-Claude.
Discover the first book in a sparkling paranormal romance trilogy from Kiersten White, #1 New York Times bestselling author of And I Darken. Evie’s always thought of herself as a normal teenager, even though she works for the International Paranormal Containment Agency, her ex-boyfriend is a faerie, she’s falling for a shape-shifter, and she’s the only person who can see through supernatural glamours. She’s also about to find out that she may be at the center of a dark faerie prophecy promising destruction to all paranormal creatures. So much for normal. For fans of Teen Wolf, Buffy, and Supernatural, this New York Times bestseller is a witty, fresh, and downright fun read that will capture your heart.
“Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word.” —Carl Hiaasen The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore’s wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moore’s latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilight—but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, “Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination” from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver’s Rocky Mountain News to declare him, “the 21st century’s best satirist.”
He's the good kind of vampire. Sort of. Buried in the Heartland is a town that no one enters or leaves. Graf McDonald was the first visitor in more than five years...and he was only looking for a party! Unfortunately, Penance, Ohio, is not that place. After having been isolated for so long, its inhabitants don't take kindly to strangers. Jessa is the only one who trusts Graf, and she's desperate for the kind of protection that only a vampire like him can provide. Supplies are low, the locals are stirring for a sacrifice and there's a monster lurking in the woods. New men are hard to come by in the lonesome town, and this handsome stranger might be Jessa's only help for salvation. Even if she has to die first