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“The Canine population of the United States is about 25 million. Out of this, about 25 million can be classified as neurotic—a conservative estimate. “For the millions of dog-owners seeking a solution to this distressing problem—” Faced with the complications and contradictions of modern society, today’s dog becomes a neurotic. At every turn, his prime life forces—the need to eat and sleep—are thwarted. Instinct pushes him towards satisfying this hunger; sleep is necessary to infuse him with sufficient strength to get up and eat several times a day. (The average dog may require about 24 hours rest a day.) But environmental factors prevent him from satisfying these desires. Stephen Baker, in this entertaining and delightfully fresh book, offers new help for the perplexed pooch owner. There are chapters on training, feeding and—most important—dressing a neurotic dog. You’ll read about traveling with your pet...and what you can do to eliminate sibling rivalry between dog and your baby. There is a chapter on how to psychoanalyze your dog at home, complete with charts and test batteries. You may not learn a thing, but you’ll be vastly amused. Sly and witty drawings, skillfully done by Eric Gurney, serve to complement and clarify the text that will provide every reader (dog lover or not) with a great deal of dog food for thought.
Does your cat express his love for you by lying on the book you're trying to read? Does your cat fight with your houseplants, play "clear the shelf", and refuse to come when called? Does your cat insist on plenty of space-- like the entire living room? Chances are that your beloved pet, like millions of other cats, is neurotic! Cats live in a constant state of one-ness, meaning they are only looking out for number one. The hilarious insight from author Stephen Baker is a tongue-in-cheek, self-help parody that provides an inside look on neurotic cats for those who either already own cats and deal with this problem every day, or those who do not own cats and enjoy laughing at those who do. If you have suffered from life with a neurotic cat, you will empathize with the author as he explains how to find peace with cats. The feline persuasion is a funny thing, and it is easy to fall prey to their deviant ways. Learn how to watch out for yourself and the rest of your household in How to Live with a Neurotic Cat. In this hilarious cat's eye view of the world, Stephen Baker tells you everything you need to live happily ever after with your feline friend (or foe). Also, don't miss How to Live with a Neurotic Dog if you happen to be rooming with an unstable canine pal as well.
From the authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl. Questions to Ask a Breeder: 1. What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals, does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound? The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies.
#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!
"A celebrated veterinary behaviorist describes the practice of One Medicine, which hinges on the belief that humans and other animals have minds that work the same way, experience similar emotions and share the same neurochemistry, "--NoveList.
Cats are a proud lot. The pages of history overflow with their heroic deeds. They’re aloof, independent...calculating, clever little thinkers who usually wind up owning their owners. You can’t outwit them...but at least you can learn to hold your own. Eric Gurney tells you how in this most entertaining animal book.
From Stephen Baker, the wildly funny expert on pets, comes this hilarious book on living with your canine companion. Get inside the minds of dogs through topics including: • Why Dogs Think People Are Crazy: Canine Con Games • You Can Tell a Breed by the Games He Plays • People Games: The Training of a Dog Owner
Does your dog go bonkers when the doorbell rings or when you grab the leash to take him for a walk? If you find your dog is often difficult to control, you are not alone! Getting your dog to calm down and relax is one of the most common challenges pet parents face. This two-part book will help you first identify the factors that cause this kind of behavior in dogs, then it provides you with eleven key training exercises to teach your dog how to calm down, pay attention to you, relax, and respond to every day situations with confidence and composure. Chill Out will show you how to help your dog become the great dog you always knew he could be. Get results by learning about • The interrelated factors that can cause your dog's over-active behaviors. • The impact that diet can have on your dog's inability to relax. • The basics of modern positive dog training that are the key to solving these common problems. • How to reward your dog for relaxed behaviors—and avoid inadvertently reinforcing your dog's wildness. • Step-by-step training exercises that deal with the most common situations where dogs tend to have trouble staying calm.
Canine behaviourist, dog advocate and bestselling author Brad Pattison is back with his essential guide for all things puppy. From choosing the right breeder and your pup's first days with your family to street safety, chew training, grooming and bathing, Brad Pattison's Puppy Book covers pretty much everything a new dog owner needs to know. While Unleashed covered Pattison's basic training philosophies and how to correct negative behaviour, this book will ensure that you get things started on the right foot, and will keep those negative habits from forming later in life. With his proven canine communication techniques and safe, effective training methods, you don't have to be a fan of one of his shows to realize that Pattison's innovative approach stands out from the pack. He teaches you how to recognize and work with your puppy's needs, so that you can effectively communicate and bond with them. Pattison knows that there's no such thing as one-size-fits-all when it comes to dog training, and puppies everywhere will be better off if their owners buy this book.
Almost every dog has some degree of prey drive - it's in his genes - some more than others. You may experience it when your otherwise well mannered dog suddenly takes off chasing after a rabbit, squirrel, or a jogger. The old approach to solving this problem involved the use of "corrective" devices like choke chains and electronic fences. A better approach includes training and management techniques that reward your dog for choosing to focus on and stay near you, the owner. Clarissa von Reinhardt has been working on the issue of how to deal with unwanted predatory behavior for many years. In this fascinating and inspiring book, she takes the readers step by step through her training methods, inviting them to learn more about a dog's complex spectrum of behavior, and ultimately to maintain as much control as possible over the urge to chase prey.