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Jennifer can’t believe it. Just married and pregnant, she discovers that her husband has been meeting Brad for sex. When confronted, Tom doesn’t deny it, but he insists it’s just “a thing” and he isn’t gay. Elsewhere, John’s wife, Karen, discovers that her husband likes to watch gay porn. John doesn’t understand his wife’s reaction. Why does she care what he watches if he’s not unfaithful? In couple’s therapy, Karen and Jennifer raise the same questions: Does this mean my husband is gay? Can my marriage survive? These and other stories illustrate the difficulties inherent when a wife or girlfriend finds out her man has had or wants to have sexual contact with other men. But many times, the man is not gay or even bisexual. Of course, some men with gay sexual interests are gay men in a process of self-discovery; they are “coming out.” These desires may only reflect a different side of a man’s sexuality or some response to childhood trauma or experiences they have not fully processed. Here Joe Kort and Alexander P. Morgan make the distinction between gay men and “straight men with gay interests” clearer to women who want to know how they can overcome these revelations. The authors explain the many reasons why straight men may be drawn to gay sex; how to tell whether a man is gay, straight, or bisexual; and what the various options are for these couples, who can often go on to have very fulfilling marriages. Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi? is intended to help couples understand how male sexuality can express itself in ways that may be difficult to understand. Many marriages have been hurriedly terminated when couples (and their therapists) have lacked the information they needed to understand their current situations. This book provides the clarity, describes the choices, and (in many cases) offers hope for relationships and marriages that have been brushed off as doomed.
How could my husband be GAY? is an autobiographical look into the life of Ondrea L. Davis. On the outside, Ondrea s life is nothing short of a fairy tale. She has a dream home, the perfect husband and three beautiful children. Ondrea soon discovers that her husband, Marceous King, is not the man she thought she married. Exhausting all efforts to salvage her marriage, Ondrea finds herself in the fight of her life. In the process, she uncovers a highly sophisticated web of deception and shocking secrets. Marceous will stop at nothing to keep Ondrea from exposing the truth and derailing his plan even if it means destroying her in the process. In this battle of good versus evil, who will be the ultimate victor?
“These women demonstrate the will to survive intact . . . Their passage to wholeness exemplifies forgiveness, growth, healing, hope, and sometimes reconciliation.”—from MY HUSBAND IS GAY Carol and Jim were high school sweethearts who married in their early twenties. Thirty years and two children later, Jim announced to his wife that he was homosexual. A fundamentalist Christian, he had been leading a double life for years. In an effort to sort out her pain and confusion, Carol Grever sought out other heterosexual women, of all ages, ethnicities, and educational backgrounds, who were married to gay men. The stories she uncovered examine their coping strategies and form the basis of this manual for healing.
The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder is Bonnie Kaye's revised updated version of her first book Is He Straight? A Checklist for Women Who Wonder. The book offers a clear, concise perspective on the topic of straight/gay marriages based on Kaye's own experience plus 25 years of counseling over 35,000 women in the United States and around the world. This is the only book of its kind which contains easy-to-use checklists that outline and reveal the tell-tale signs and personality traits of potentially gay husbands as well as a checklist for the prototype of women they consciously choose as wives. The book will help women work through the emotional turmoil they face when they suspect or learn about this news. About the Author: Bonnie Kaye is recognized as an international expert in this field. She acts as a consultant for major news networks and television shows including Oprah, Montel Williams, and Tyra Banks. Her websites can be viewed at: www.Gayhusbands.com & www.Straightwives.com. Kaye's other books include: Doomed Grooms: Gay Husbands of Straight Wives; ManReaders: A Woman's Guide to Dysfunctional Men; Straight Wives: Shattered Lives; and How I Made My Husband Gay: Myths About Straight Wives.
"Over the Cliff" is a self-help book for husbands and wives living in straight/gay marriages. Over three million gay men in the United States and millions more around the world are living double lives in marriages to women due to societal pressures or a lack of understanding their homosexuality at the time of marriage. This book has over a dozen interviews with men who have lived through this experience and offer their insights to others. The book is co-authored by Bonnie Kaye, M.Ed., an internationally recognized counseling specialist for straight wives married to gay men and Doug Dittmer, a gay husband peer counselor who has worked with Kaye over the past five years helping numerous gay men in marriages come to terms with their homosexuality so they can move on to more fulfilling lives. About the Authors Bonnie Kaye is an internationally recognized Relationship Counselor/Author in the field of straight/gay marriages. She has provided relationship counseling for over 25 years with more than 70,000 women who have sexually dysfunctional husbands due to homosexuality, bisexuality, transgenderism or sexual addictions. She is considered an authority in this field by other professionals and the media. Kaye has published five books on straight/gay relationships, which have sold thousands of copies. Her website www.Gayhusbands.com has consistently remained in the number one position on Google, Yahoo, and other major search engines since it's launching in 2000. When media contacts want an expert, they come to Bonnie Kaye who has more experience and expertise than any other person in this country. Her official book website is located at www.BonnieKayeBooks.com. Kaye's other books include: "The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder; Doomed Grooms: Gay Husbands of Straight Wives; ManReaders: A Woman's Guide to Dysfunctional Men; Straight Wives: Shattered Lives; Bonnie Kaye's Straight Talk;" and "How I Made My Husband Gay: Myths About Straight Wives." With over 30 years experience in business management, Talent Acquisition and Executive Recruitment, Doug Dittmer's career has depended on his ability to coach clients and employees in problem resolution. Eighteen years into his marriage, Doug faced his own crisis and announced that he was gay. In 1981 Doug put his skills to work to fight discrimination against lesbian, gay and bisexual people. Doug began as a Legislative Lobbyist for the Michigan Organization for Human Rights (MOHR), the State's premier gay rights organization. Within a short time he was elected as the group's Education Officer, charged with the responsibility of educating the general public about lesbian and gay issues. Doug went on to be elected President of the organization. Under his leadership, a task force of volunteer litigation attorneys was recruited to overturn Michigan's sodomy statutes. Two years later, in MOHR v. Kelly, MOHR achieved that objective when the Wayne County Circuit Court ruled the statute as unconstitutional. In November 1985, the Detroit City Council recognized his achievements and leadership in the area of human rights by awarding him the Spirit of Detroit Award. Over the years since, Doug has reached out to other gay men coming to terms with their sexuality in mid-life, acting as peer counselor and coach.
How I Made My Husband Gay is a self-help book for women who learn or suspect that they may be married to a gay/bisexual man. Compiled, edited, and contributed to by Bonnie Kaye, M. Ed., the international expert in the field of straight/gay marriages, this book helps women by revealing the signs and patterns in their marriages that could be Red Flags. There are 35 stories from members of Kaye's international support group who talk about those signs they initially missed, as well as how they were blamed by their gay husbands for the failures in the marriages. Kaye also has her women discuss ways that they caught their husbands, as well as how they started over after ending the marriage which she refers to as a mis-marriage or a mistake of a marriage. About the Author: Kaye has counseled more than 30,000 straight women and 2,000 gay men since 1984 after the demise of her own marriage to a gay man. She hits home the message that gay men have no choice in their homosexuality - but they do have a choice in being honest about it. She works with women to help them rebuild their lives after the end of their marriages, and strongly advocates divorce in an amicable way whenever possible. Kaye consults for the major news media, and her website at www.Gayhusbands.com is used as a resource for shows including Oprah, Montel, and Tyra Banks. She has appeared on numerous national news shows including CNN and FOX News with her message that homosexuality does not belong in a marriage to a straight partner. Kaye is also a strong advocate for gay rights and publicly speaks about the need for society to accept gay people for who they are instead of fighting to change them into who they are not. This is Kaye's fourth book on this topic. Her other books include Is He Straight? A Checklist for Women Who Wonder, Doomed Grooms: Gay Husbands of Straight Wives, and Straight Wives: Shattered Lives.
A memoir of a man looking back over eight decades at the complications of discovering at puberty his attraction to other men. A wonderfully original, challenging, life- and love-affirming account that could only have been written by the unconventional man who lived through it all.
No one raises an eyebrow if you suggest that a guy who arranges his furniture just so, rolls his eyes in exaggerated disbelief, likes techno music or show tunes, and knows all of Bette Davis's best lines by heart might, just possibly, be gay. But if you assert that male homosexuality is a cultural practice, expressive of a unique subjectivity and a distinctive relation to mainstream society, people will immediately protest. Such an idea, they will say, is just a stereotype-ridiculously simplistic, politically irresponsible, and morally suspect. The world acknowledges gay male culture as a fact but denies it as a truth. David Halperin, a pioneer of LGBTQ studies, dares to suggest that gayness is a specific way of being that gay men must learn from one another in order to become who they are. Inspired by the notorious undergraduate course of the same title that Halperin taught at the University of Michigan, provoking cries of outrage from both the right-wing media and the gay press, How To Be Gay traces gay men's cultural difference to the social meaning of style. Far from being deterred by stereotypes, Halperin concludes that the genius of gay culture resides in some of its most despised features: its aestheticism, snobbery, melodrama, adoration of glamour, caricatures of women, and obsession with mothers. The insights, impertinence, and unfazed critical intelligence displayed by gay culture, Halperin argues, have much to offer the heterosexual mainstream.
When Your Spouse Comes Out: A Straight Mate's Recovery Manual is a guide that offers solid therapeutic techniques for self-help and presents poignant true stories that examine the various reactions to the coming-out event, the personal challenges and obstacles often experienced, and shares lessons learned and some of the secrets of transformation.
In the beginning JoAnne thought her relationship with Steve was exhilarating and fun. Though she knew he had bisexual interests, she trusted their love for each other and felt ready to accept an unconventional marriage in the spirit of the rebellious and sexually charged 1960s. Excitement was in the air as they moved to Brooklyn Heights, wrote screenplays together, met a mobster killer, and were repeatedly robbed and mugged themselves. But gradually problems developed, as Steve drank too much, began cruising in bad neighborhoods, drifted into dangerous liaisons, and lied to her about his secret life, which repeatedly put the family in danger. Meanwhile, JoAnne felt nearly overwhelmed by other crises, including her recurring breast cancer and her parents being critically injured in their house fire. As she became convinced her husband was gay, JoAnne prepared for divorce, but neither she nor Steve really wanted to separate. Still best friends, the two continued living together. They remained close, loving their daughters and feeling rooted in the house that over the years had cost them so much. When Steve died, JoAnne sought to understand their strange and troubled relationship by drawing on her memories and Steves journals about his gay encounters and fantasies. Her memoir is a brave and brutally honest account of a troubled but enduring love. Recent research suggests that some 4 million women may be married to closeted gay men. Husband is the story of one such relationship that lasted nearly 40 years.