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"Mr. Barry is the funniest man in America and we should encourage him." --The New York Times Book Review THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME--EXCEPT IN A SELLER'S MARKET At long last, Dave Barry, the dean of everything, lets you in on the deepest, darkest mysteries of life and answers your hysterical home purchase questions like they've never been answered before: What's the best way to determine a realistic price range? Take your total family income, including coins that have fallen behind the bureau, and any projected future revenue you have been notified about via personalized letters from Mr. Ed McMahon stating that you may already have won 14 million dollars. Then, multiply by something other than six. Can you recommend a good mortgage? There are several kinds: Fixed Rate, Variable Rate, and the bank's secret weapons, the Party Hat Mortgage and the Mortgage of the Living Dead. How can I avoid spending money on do-it-yourself homeowner's projects? Find a contractor. Their silent motto is "We Never Show Up." The Romans lived among the ruins. You must too. Is there a secret to having a beautiful lawn? Yes and no. If you fail to feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die. However, if you feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die.
At long last, Dave Barry, the dean of everything, lets you in on the deepest, darkest mysteries of life and answers your hysterical home purchase questions like they've never been answered before: What's the best way to determine a realistic price range? Take your total family income, including coins that have fallen behind the bureau, and any projected future revenue you have been notified about via personalized letters from Mr. Ed McMahon stating that you may already have won 14 million dollars. Then, multiply by something other than six. Can you recommend a good mortgage? There are several kinds: Fixed Rate, Variable Rate, and the bank's secret weapons, the Party Hat Mortgage and the Mortgage of the Living Dead. How can I avoid spending money on do-it-yourself homeowner's projects? Find a contractor. Their silent motto is "We Never Show Up." The Romans lived among the ruins. You must too. Is there a secret to having a beautiful lawn? Yes and no. If you fail to feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die. However, if you feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die.--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
A stunning novel about the transformative power of love, perfect for fans of 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness. There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution—Roman, a teenage boy who’s haunted by a family tragedy, is looking for a partner. Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together.
New York Times bestseller and Newbery Honor Book! A gorgeously written, hopeful middle grade novel in verse about a young girl who must leave Syria to move to the United States, perfect for fans of Jason Reynolds and Aisha Saeed. Jude never thought she’d be leaving her beloved older brother and father behind, all the way across the ocean in Syria. But when things in her hometown start becoming volatile, Jude and her mother are sent to live in Cincinnati with relatives. At first, everything in America seems too fast and too loud. The American movies that Jude has always loved haven’t quite prepared her for starting school in the US—and her new label of “Middle Eastern,” an identity she’s never known before. But this life also brings unexpected surprises—there are new friends, a whole new family, and a school musical that Jude might just try out for. Maybe America, too, is a place where Jude can be seen as she really is. This lyrical, life-affirming story is about losing and finding home and, most importantly, finding yourself.
In this masterfully written and brilliantly informed work, Dr. Rhorne, the Feynman Professor of Theoretical Physics at Caltech, leads readers through an elegant, always human, tapestry of interlocking themes, answering the great question: what principles control our universe and why do physicists think they know what they know? Features an introduction by Stephen Hawking.
In many ways, the history of domestic humor writing is also a history of domestic life in the twentieth century. For many years, domestic humor was written primarily by females; significant contributions from male writers began as times and family structures changed. It remains timeless because of its basis on the relationships between husbands and wives, parents and children, houses and inhabitants, pets and their owners, chores and their doers, and neighbors. This work is a historical and literary survey of humorists who wrote about home. It begins with a chapter on the social context of and attitudes toward traditional domestic roles and housewives. The following chapters, beginning with the 1920s and continuing through today, cover the different time periods and the foremost American domestic humorists, and the humor written by surrogate parents, grown children about their childhood families, husbands, and Canadian and English writers. Also covered are the differences among various writers toward traditional domestic roles--some, like Erma Bombeck and Judith Viorst, embraced them, while others, like Caryl Kristenson and Marilyn Kentz, resisted them. Common themes, such as the isolation and competitiveness of housework, home as an idealized metaphysical goal and ongoing physical challenge, and the urban, suburban, and rural life, are also explored.
Dive into a mind-bending exploration of the physics of black holes Black holes, predicted by Albert Einstein’s general theory of relativity more than a century ago, have long intrigued scientists and the public with their bizarre and fantastical properties. Although Einstein understood that black holes were mathematical solutions to his equations, he never accepted their physical reality—a viewpoint many shared. This all changed in the 1960s and 1970s, when a deeper conceptual understanding of black holes developed just as new observations revealed the existence of quasars and X-ray binary star systems, whose mysterious properties could be explained by the presence of black holes. Black holes have since been the subject of intense research—and the physics governing how they behave and affect their surroundings is stranger and more mind-bending than any fiction. After introducing the basics of the special and general theories of relativity, this book describes black holes both as astrophysical objects and theoretical “laboratories” in which physicists can test their understanding of gravitational, quantum, and thermal physics. From Schwarzschild black holes to rotating and colliding black holes, and from gravitational radiation to Hawking radiation and information loss, Steven Gubser and Frans Pretorius use creative thought experiments and analogies to explain their subject accessibly. They also describe the decades-long quest to observe the universe in gravitational waves, which recently resulted in the LIGO observatories’ detection of the distinctive gravitational wave “chirp” of two colliding black holes—the first direct observation of black holes’ existence. The Little Book of Black Holes takes readers deep into the mysterious heart of the subject, offering rare clarity of insight into the physics that makes black holes simple yet destructive manifestations of geometric destiny.
Christian historian Sidney Mead has observed: "In America space has played the part that time has played in older cultures of the world." In Shopping Malls and Other Sacred Spaces, Jon Pahl examines this provocative statement in conversation with what he calls the "spatial character" of American theology. He argues that places are always imaginatively constructed by the human beings who inhabit them. Sometimes this spatial theology works to our benefit; other times it poses spiritual risks. What happens when our banal "clothing of the sacred" violates our genuine need for comfort and intimacy? Or when we remember that the fleeting pleasures of a shopping trip or a Disneyland escape are designed to fill someone else's pocket rather than the spiritual emptiness in our own hearts? Pahl develops several ways to "clothe the divine from within the Christian tradition." He introduces a theology of place that reveals aspects of God's character through biblical metaphors drawn from physical spaces, such as the true vine, the rock, and the living water. Accessible and thought provoking, this enlightening book provides a better grasp of our particularly American way of lending religious significance to spaces of all kinds.
"Just the ticket for the '90s." SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE If you're too young for a nursing home yet too old to be a rock star, if your marriage is as exciting as scraping grass off the lawnmower blades, then this hilarious book by Pulitzer-Prize-winning columnist and author is for you. Put on your protective eyewear and take a probing look inside your increasingly Spam-like body at: The Midlife (Yawn) Marriage; Wise Financial Planning for Irresponsible Scum Such as Yourself; Sex After 40 (or, Sex? After 40?), and other harsh, but amusing realities that leave you laughing, crying and drooling.
A syndicated humorist discusses natural breathing and techniques to endure the ordeal of baby showers