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"My name is John Hams and I'm a sex addict." And so begins Dr. Chuck Tingle's first full length novel, Helicopter Man Pounds Dinosaur Billionaire Ass, a thrilling superhero origin story that will take you to the edge of gay erotic romance and stare bravely into the abyss. It is a story so powerful, so sensual, that it could change the very face of erotic literature forever. John Hams is a man who has lost it all, a nine-to-five nobody with an addiction to billionaire dinosaur bad boys. That is, until a freak accident at work imbues John with the ability to transform into an achingly handsome helicopter at will. Suddenly, things are looking up, as John uses his ability to woo the dashing stegosaurus from his addicts group who just happens to have a thing for rugged aircrafts. But it's not long before John's new helicopter identity starts to spin out of control, taking on a personality of its own as the wild and horny Chibs Pratt, chopper with abs. Can John Hams become the hardcore gay hero that he is destined to be, or is this shifter bound to be nothing more than his own worst enemy? The room itself is massive, as well, with another set of windows that fill the far wall from floor to ceiling and look out towards the distant Hollywood Hills. It's a corner unit, providing two completely unique, but equally breathtaking, views. I slowly strut across the hardwood floors on my landing skids towards Yorb, enjoying the way that his yellow dinosaur eyes flicker and dance across my metallic body. At this point, he can't help but stare. Seductively, I give my blades a quick flash of speed and hover up onto the bed, then crawl towards him, eventually positioning myself directly over his body. I take Yorb's hands carefully with two blades and pull them above his head, controlling him completely as I make my way down his ripped chest and scaly abs with a series of sensual helicopter kisses.
Time is a mysterious and elusive thing, an experienced lover that's been around for a while. It's no wonder time is so alluring in all of its forms, especially the days of the week that we've all experienced our fair share of. Collected within this volume is a hardcore, erotic tale for every handsome, physically manifested day.Featuring the following gay erotic tales...MONDAY POUNDS ME IN THE BUTTTUESDAY POUNDS ME IN THE BUTTWEDNESDAY POUNDS ME IN THE BUTTTHURSDAY POUNDS ME IN THE BUTTFRIDAY POUNDS ME IN THE BUTTSATURDAY POUNDS ME IN THE BUTTSUNDAY POUNDS ME IN THE BUTT
~b~>With the winning, upbeat candor that has made her show on of the most popular and honored daytime shows on the air, beloved talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres shares her views on life, love, and American Idol. "I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" Seriously... I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more. PRAISE FOR Seriously... I'm Kidding "DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." -- People "Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." - Publishers Weekly "Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." -- Kirkus/DIVspan
Chuck Tingle, a writer who defined a generation with his sensual brand of homoerotic thriller, is back with a three-book collection that has been heralded by Death And Taxes Magazine as "a transhumanist masterpiece."What begins as the simple story of a man's true love for a gay unicorn sailor quickly evolves into something else entirely, each tale pulling farther and farther out to reveal a breathtaking glimpse at the greatest author of our time. Like a butt within a butt within butt, this trilogy will have your perception of time and space turned completely upside down in total buttception. Welcome to the future of literature.ANALLY YOURS, THE UNICORN SAILOROut for a stroll after breaking up with his girlfriend, Tuck never could have imagined that he would meet the love of his life in the form of a gay unicorn sailor named Hunter, but that's exactly what happens. The two share a romantic evening until it's revealed that Hunter is about to embark on a year long sail around the world. However, their love remains strong in a series of explicit letters. But Hunter is planning something that will redefine the meaning of love between a man and a unicorn. Soon Tuck finds himself whisked away to the Bahamas on a private helicopter for a hardcore, anal surprise that will have your jaw on the floor. POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY MY OWN BUTTKirk is a scientific researcher on the leading edge of cloning technology, but his team has reached a standstill. In an effort to stabilize rapid clone growth, researchers have been taking DNA from various parts of their bodies and combining it with small amounts of animal DNA. But when the scientists combine samples from Kirk's butt, brain, and a hawk, the resulting effect is a handsome, living ass who immediately sweeps Kirk off of his feet over a candlelit dinner for two. Kirk has finally found a lover that truly understands him at his very core... his own gay ass! POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY MY BOOK "POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY MY OWN BUTT"Buck Trungle is a world famous writer who is sick and tired of living in the shadow of his own books. But when his most recent novel, "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt" contacts him out of the blue and threatens a lawsuit, it's a fear that Buck must now face head on. Buck's novel is looking to collect royalties on sales of himself, and Buck's lawyer is urging the writer to settle out of court, but when author and book finally meet face-to-face things take a turn for the erotic. Soon enough, Buck is selling himself to seal the deal with this sentient novel, but can he give his ass away without giving a piece of his heart, as well?
From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Da Vinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Inferno and the “master of smart thrills” (People) comes a “rocket-fast thriller” (Vince Flynn) about an astonishing NASA discovery that unravels a deadly conspiracy that leads all the way to the White House. When a NASA satellite spots evidence of an astoundingly rare object buried deep in the Arctic ice, the floundering space agency proclaims a much-needed victory—one that could have profound implications for US space policy and the impending presidential election. With his re-election hanging in the balance, the President sends White House Intelligence analyst Rachel Sexton to the Milne Ice Shelf to verify the authenticity of the find. Accompanied by a team of experts, including the charismatic academic Michael Tolland, Rachel uncovers the unthinkable: evidence of scientific trickery. Before she can contact the President, she and Michael are attacked by a deadly team of assassins controlled by a mysterious power broker who will stop at nothing to hide the truth. Fleeing for their lives in an environment as desolate as it is lethal, their only hope for survival is to find out who is behind this masterful ploy. The truth, they will learn, is the most shocking deception of all in this “taut, fast-paced, barn-burner of a book” (St. Petersburg Times).
There is no denying that food and sex go hand in hand, and never has that been more apparent than with Chuck Tingle's sizzling erotic collection Handsome Sentient Food Pounds My But And Turns Me Gay. Collected within are the most mouth watering tales of gay food and drink that you will ever indulge in, including eight short stories, as well as Chuck's famous recipes for spaghetti and chocolate milk. Featuring... CREAMED IN THE BUTT BY MY HANDSOME LIVING CORN GLAZED BY THE GAY LIVING DONUTS SLAMMED UP THE BUTT BY MY HOT COFFEE BOSS OPPRESSED IN THE BUTT BY MY INCLUSIVE HOLIDAY COFFEE CUPS TURNED GAY BY THE LIVING ALPHA DINER BIGFOOT SOMMELIER BUTT TASTING SLAMMED IN THE BUTT BY THE LIVING LEFTOVER CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES FROM MY KITCHEN CABINET SHARED BY THE CHOCOLATE MILK COWBOYS
When it comes to dating, romance and all things sensual, few figures are quite as revered as Dr. Chuck Tingle; erotica author, cultural icon, and now self-help guru. As the generation's leading voice on the subject of sex, Dr. Tingle has blown the lid off of dating in modern times, revealing his hard earned tips and tricks for navigating the waters of single life and beyond. With Dr. Chuck Tingle's Complete Guide To Romance, readers now have a glimpse into the mysterious world of Tingle, covering relationship advice for all four datable creatures: Dinosaurs, unicorns, bigfeet and living objects. Chuck also provides his wisdom on unconventional relationships, like submissive, domineering, open relationships, ghost relationships and more. For readers with a culinary or wizardly bent, Chuck includes his signature recipe for spaghetti and chocolate milk, as well as a spell book geared specifically towards romance. Ladies and gentlemen, the doctor is in. Warning: This book includes graphic depictions of gay sexuality. Reader discretion is advised.
"What corporations fear most are consumers who ask questions. Naomi Klein offers us the arguments with which to take on the superbrands." Billy Bragg from the bookjacket.
With his genre-defining work, Space Raptor Butt Invasion, Chuck Tingle proved that even gay dinosaur erotica could be nominated for a Hugo Award, the most prestigious honor in science fiction. Nobody could have expected what would happen when the story continued. Collected here is the entire trilogy of Chuck Tingle's history making Space Raptor Butt series.SPACE RAPTOR BUTT INVASIONSpace can be a lonely place, especially when you're stationed by yourself on the distant planet Zorbus. In fact, Lance isn't quite sure that can last the whole year before his shuttle pod arrives, but when a mysterious visitor appears at Lance's terraforming station, he quickly realizes that he might not be so alone after all. Soon enough, Lance becomes close with this mysterious new astronaut, a velociraptor. Together, they form an unlikely duo, which quickly begins to cross the boundaries of friendship into something much, much more sensual. It's not gay if it's a man and a dinosaur, is it? SPACE RAPTOR BUTT REDEMPTIONAfter a year stationed on planet Zorbus, astronaut Lance Tanner and his raptor lover Orion return home to find that they are not greeted as heroes, but as villains. Unbeknownst to Lance, his space travels have been funded by the villainous Scoundrels Inc, a corporation that has deep ties to the illegal trade of unicorn tears and a destructive mining project at the core of the earth. Now Lance is on trial for a number of false charges; from having connections to the wicked Scoundrels, to being too strange for space. The opposing lawyer argues that space is only for serious astronauts, and that love between a raptor and a man is giving space travel a bad name. Lance is arguing that there's room to be weird in space. More importantly, Lance is arguing for the idea of love itself; that just because something comes out of darkness doesn't mean it can't become a beacon of light. Of course, this all culminates in a hardcore dinosaur on astronaut pounding that will have your jaw on the courtroom floor! SPACE RAPTOR BUTT ASCENSIONSoon after blasting off on their mission to find refuge for the people of Earth 1 on the dinosaur inhabited Earth 2, Orion and his space raptor lover Lance find a spaceship stow away, the notorious CEO of Scounrels Inc, Vam Dox. Vam claims that his intentions are pure, but it's hard to trust such a sad, strange man. After landing in Hugona, the planet capital of Earth 2, our heroes restrain Vam Dox and head off to secure an important diplomatic relationship with the pterodactyl president, but that's when all hell breaks loose. Soon, Vam Dox is storming the capital with a band of rabid dogs, and Lance and Orion are wrongly taking the blame! Fortunately, Lance and Orion know that the only cure for evil this strong is to prove their love in a hardcore gay encounter at the steps of the capital building. When the smoke clears, will Vam Dox be revealed as the super villain that he claims to be, or a meek, lonesome manbaby who is starved for attention?
What would you do if you could never pound another butt? How far would you go? For Pupper, an unassuming 9-to-5 office wizard from Billings, Montana, the answer is "as far as it takes." When Pupper and a handful of Unicorn Butt Cops leave town on an errand for Mayor Fancy, they encounter a demon unlike anything they have ever seen. The group returns home to find the populace of several major cities across the United States have been systematically kidnapped by devilmen, and they set out to find the one responsible, Ted Cobbler. Now our hero, his unicorn lover, and a bad boy dinosaur wizard find themselves on a trek across this apocalyptic America, complete with ravenous mutant asses and flying cocks with scalding hot loads. Brought to you by the master of sensuality, Chuck Tingle, this erotic novel of gay romance and hardcore ass pounding will leave you breathless and begging for more! Death and Taxes Magazine raves, "Once in a generation, a literary mind comes along who's able to express the zeitgeist of the current age with inimitable, earth-shattering clarity. The '20s had F Scott Fitzgerald, the '70s had Hunter S. Thompson, the '80s had Don Delillo, and now, like a beacon shining on the horizon, comes a talent of truly ass-stounding proportions. I am speaking, of course, of bestselling e-book author Dr. Chuck Tingle." Lit Reactor says, "Chuck blurs the line between erotica, post-modernism, and meta-fiction. He is D.H. Lawrence, Paul Auster, and Dennis Cooper, all rolled into one and wrapped in a gi. Don't believe me? Read on, and try to resist... the Tingle."