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We're often faced with uncomfortable situations where we're at a loss for words. A friend calls to tell you she's lost her job. A colleague's test results confirm it: he has cancer. The neighbors-who are like family-are moving. Your best friend's mother has Alzheimer's. Your spouse's father suddenly dies; she didn't get to say goodbye. Can you help? Should you help? What would be useful? What kinds of boundaries do we respect or lower? How do we pause to listen between the lines of silence to comfort someone who is afraid or in pain? Can we ask for what would comfort us when we are the one having a rough time? And are we able to receive it with grace? Healing Conversations enables us to provide or ask for a new level of support when facing life's inevitable challenges, transitions, and losses-at work, at home, and in our community. It is a practical guide to help you step into someone else's shoes so that you can offer, ask for, or receive comfort. Reflections at the end of each chapter help you think more deeply about how to incorporate the principles of healing conversations and intentional kindness into your life.
How is it that someone can be healed of mental illness through talking with another person? This is what Neville Symington examines in this book. He believes that a person in their innermost being registers the essential character of the other person. The senses detect the outer contours of the personality but a deeper form of knowledge connects directly to the other person's inner being. Healing comes about if the inner world of the one is guided by principles that transcend the particular and this fosters a giving-ness in the one and the other. The egoism in each is then subsumed into a higher unity which results in a new subjective understanding. Personal understanding is a sign that a new ordering of the inner ingredients of the personality has taken place; that the form of being in the one has the capacity to generate in the other this new way of being. The author explores this fundamental reality that underlies human communication and teases out how this brings about healing.
Brings to life the seven elements of how to have deep and fulfilling interactions so that people can connect in a world with many conversational obstacles. Conversation is the way human beings connect. Great friendships are defined by the way one speaks, listens, and flows through the joy of effortless conversation. As the divisions in culture deepen due to politics, generational misunderstanding, the complexity of gender, the struggle to be politically correct, and every other possible human condition, conversation is becoming more and more dangerous. Most people feel an ever-increasing need to be careful with their words. It may be good to be thoughtful of language, but this is a new kind of carefulness. The anxiety of culture is leading people to communicate less and that leads to isolation and divisiveness. Healing Conversations is a simple way to revolutionize communication. It offers practical help to allow readers to talk their way out of conflict and loneliness. Within Healing Conversations, Dave Roberts helps readers to learn, gain perspective, grow, accomplish real work, come together for a greater good, but even more, helps them to feel intimately connected to the people around them again through the power of conversation. “Roberts, lead pastor of Montrose Church in Montrose, Calif., explores in this insightful . . . debut a type of conversation called relational talking, which is characterized by the goals of hospitality, openness, and an eagerness to understand others.” —Publishers Weekly “Profound and practical! Healing Conversations is a chance to learn how to invite people to share their truest selves with us without our self-focused agendas and any need to be right.” —Debbie Payne, Producer, Director Cumulus Media
Unfinished Conversations is a story of profound grief and the journey to healing that followed. Based on a journal Robert Lesoine kept during the two years following the suicide of his best friend, Unfinished Conversations will help readers through the process of reflecting on and affirming the raw immediacy of survivors’ emotions. Each short chapter focuses on a different aspect of the author’s experience as he transforms his anger and guilt to understanding and forgiveness. Licensed psychotherapist Marilynne Chöphel brings her professional background to Robert Lesoine’s deeply personal story to create an accessible path to self-directed healing based on mindful awareness and sound clinical practices. Readers work through their own grieving and healing process with end-of-chapter exercises and activities. An appendix and website, unfinishedconversation.com, provide additional resources to survivors. The tools and techniques in Unfinished Conversations will help readers release past trauma, honor their relationship with their lost loved one, and find greater perspective, meaning, and well-being in their lives.
Following the release of his mind-blowing first book, Playing with Fire, Theo Fleury joins forces with world-renowned therapist Kim Barthel in a new book, Conversations with a Rattlesnake, coming out November 2014. The book is a raw and honest conversation, loaded with personal insights and cutting-edge information about healing from trauma and abuse. Fleury calls Barthel the "Wayne Gretzky of therapy" and within their emotionally safe relationship he bares his soul so that others can learn from his mistakes, triumphs and new learnings. Fleury's story will inspire not only those overcoming their own trauma but friends, parents, teachers, coaches, therapists and health practitioners--anyone who is in the critical position of supporting someone who needs to share their own story. Co-author Kim Barthel provides an in-depth explanation of early childhood attachment and addiction that ties into the reasoning behind our behaviours and the science of how our brains work. Barthel explains how understanding groundbreaking scientific and psychological research can eliminate the unnecessary and damaging shame that so often accompanies abuse and trauma. Her dialogue with Fleury illuminates self-awareness, mindfulness and the power of relationships. Fleury's life experiences and Barthel's informed interpretation combine to provide a unique look at the healing process that is easy to read, entertaining and transformational.
Whether it's the loss of a job, a marriage, or a life, in today's 24/7 world we're increasingly faced with uncomfortable situations where we don’t know what to say yet we're called upon to quickly respond -- online or in person. We may fumble, avoid contact, or simply walk away perplexed, thinking we have done a bad job of responding to our friends, family, neighbors, clients, and co-workers. How do we pause, listen, and offer comfort in those hard moments? Filled with touching stories, this practical guide helps us step into someone else's shoes so that we can empathetically learn how to respond in times of need. The revised compact edition includes a new introduction, index and short reflections at the end of each chapter to help readers become more comfortable and effective when offering or accepting comfort in their demanding lives.
Racism complicates our relationships, even when we reject it and seek to walk a better path. In this book, four experts in psychology and social work present a Scripturally-grounded model for building and deepening cross-race relationships. These insights and practices will help Christians grow in Christlikeness and follow his example.
The most important moments in life involve big decisions, big events, and big opportunitiesand those involve other people. Relationships make our lives work, and as it turns out, they improve our health and happiness as well. When we have good ones, they help pick us up when we stumble and fall, but they dont just happen. Carol Ann Lloyd-Stanger, who has built a career helping people build personal and professional relationships that create success, shares steps and strategies so you can: start conversations that lead to meaningful relationships; take a positive approach to the people in your life; listen effectively and understand others and their ideas; adapt your conversation style to increase connections; and manage difficult conversations to achieve positive outcomes. Any conversation can be the one that changes everything, but you need to know how to navigate them. Take the first step to enjoying game-changing relationships and build the life you wantone conversation at a time.
Many of us live at a pace that is impossible to keep. Unrelenting busyness might feel necessary, but it can lead to chronic stress and burnout that hinders our love for God and others. Instead of adding more to our long to-do list, counselors Eliza Huie and Esther Smith guide readers in how to think biblically about their whole life. They give Christians a framework for biblical self-care that will help them live for Christ by stewarding the spiritual, emotional, relational, and physical aspects of life. The Whole Life: 52 Weeks of Biblical Self-Care outlines a balanced life of stewardship, offering practical strategies for Christians to grow in honoring God and caring for others. The authors focus on six key areas: faith, health, purpose, community, work, and rest. Each chapter addresses a specific topic and guides readers in thinking biblically about their whole life. Breaking down the misconceptions that self-care is not biblical, The Whole Life reveals that caring for yourself doesn’t mean you are being selfish or lazy. Instead, it’s a way of stewarding every part of your life for God’s glory and the good of others. Contrary to what our culture might lead us to believe, exhaustion and burnout are not unavoidable pitfalls of a faithful Christian life. Instead, they are warning signs that we need to turn to God for daily help. This book will reorient readers to the core value of resting their heart, mind, and strength in Christ.
"We use "mortal time" in our work to mean the experience of human beings confronting the prospect of death. This confrontation can stimulate intense feelings, a flurry of thoughts, and erratic or unusual behavior. In the broadest sense, mortal time is entered whenever death comes near, and that can happen either directly or vicariously. Hearing the words, "you have cancer," and signing a medical consent form where death is a possible medical "complication," are direct experiences of mortal time. Learning of a loved one's cancer diagnosis, losing a family member in an automobile accident, or reading about a missing child are vicarious experiences of mortal time. The power of tragedy in the theatre can brings us into the experience of mortality. King Lear's madness in the face of betrayal propels him toward an untimely death. The focus in this book is on the particular and powerful experience of entering mortal time when someone receives a diagnosis of cancer, a life-threatening illness. As we noted in our introduction to this second edition, the experience of mortal time in cancer medicine has changed with new treatments. A cancer diagnosis could mean an illness where rapid progression toward death is looming, or where there is only the distant possibility of death. Now there is a third option: the prospect of longer survival with metastatic disease due to the promise of additional therapies, facilitated by next generation genome sequencing. This means, a lengthier period of mortal time and uncertainty for many cancer patients. MORTAL TIME: HOW LONG DOES IT LAST? There are, of course, many instances in which people far exceed their statistically predicted life span. This holds true whether it be the prediction of a physician in the midst of treating an illness or the projected life span of an insurance life-expectancy table. In Part II we give an example of how misleading statistics can be when we discuss the idea of false hope. When mortal time looms with the diagnosis of cancer, it may stretch from days to years, with patients encountering both helpful treatments that lead to periods of remission and recurrences of disease requiring additional treatment. Some patients may never experience a time when it is apparent that they are dying until the last days. The interval between living and dying that we are concerned with here is not primarily chronological time, measured in days, weeks, and months. The hallmark of mortal time is the person's unique biological, psychological, social, and spiritual experience of the prospect and meaning of death, a prospect that confronts their caregivers as well. Mortal time is "kairos" time, the ancient Greek word meaning the time of decisions. When someone enters mortal time directly, their caregivers enter the same time zone vicariously. What they do together in mortal time, especially how they speak and listen to each other, affects the quality and meaning of life for all involved, in the moment and beyond"--