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“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.
A road map for building strong and secure relationships for those who struggle with anxiety in their romantic connections. An estimated 47 million Americans identify as having an anxious attachment style, which can make being in relationships turbulent and emotionally taxing for them. According to groundbreaking research in the field of attachment, anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviors that get in the way of finding and sustaining love. In Anxiously Attached, seasoned psychotherapist and couples counselor Jessica Baum guides readers through understanding their attachment style at its core and building the inner strength and self-love that will lead them to more secure and satisfying relationships. Developed over ten years in private practice, Baum’s signature Self-full® Method has helped her clients get off the toxic roller coaster of anxious attachment and discover the secure and mutually supportive relationships they deserve. In this book readers will learn how to: Create boundaries to safeguard their sense of self-sovereignty in relationships Communicate to their partners what they need to feel safe and secure in the relationship Develop a secure sense of self-worth and emotional stability Learn the true meaning of a healthy/interdependent relationship and how to establish one with their partner or future partner. Discover a compassionate path towards healing through experiences like mediation practices where they can start to develop more insight into their internal landscape. Attain a deep understanding of the anxious-avoidant dance that is extremely common in intimacy struggles. Anxiously Attached offers a practical and holistic approach for overcoming anxious attachment issues to discover happier, more fulfilling relationships.
The book is dedicated to people with anxious attachment, and they keen to turn their anxiety into security in relationships.
Has your romantic partner called you clingy, insecure, desperate, or jealous? No one wants to admit that they possess these qualities; but if you find yourself constantly on the alert, anxious, or worried when it comes to your significant other, you may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment that is often rooted in early childhood experiences. In Insecure in Love, you'll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way—rather than beating yourself up. You’ll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialog between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness. If you suffer from anxious attachment, you probably know that you need to change, and yet you have remained stuck. With compassionate self-awareness, you can successfully explore old anxiety-perpetuating perceptions and habits without being overwhelmed or paralyzed by them. By understanding the psychological factors at the root of your attachment anxiety, you will learn to cultivate secure, healthy relationships to last a lifetime. If you’re ready to stop getting stuck in the same hurtful relationship patterns and finally break the cycle of heartache, this book can show you how to get the love you deserve—and keep it!
The concluding chapter reflects on the key issues addressed, considers the deeper philosophical implications of current work in the field, and identifies pivotal directions for future investigation."--BOOK JACKET.
Cultivate the self-awareness and understanding needed to earn your own secure attachment—so you can approach your life and your relationships with an open heart, a curious mind, and a joyful soul. Do you feel insecure, jealous, or anxious in your relationships? Do you have a deep fear that people will abandon you? Have you ever stayed in a toxic situation because you didn’t believe you deserved better? If so, you may have an anxious attachment style—a way of coping with difficult situations or emotions that is often rooted in an adverse childhood experience (ACE), such as neglect or abuse. Fortunately, there are ways to heal this anxious attachment, and even transform it into an earned secure attachment. In this holistic guide, therapist Jennifer Nurick offers a trauma-informed approach grounded in neuroscience, mindfulness, and polyvagal theory to help you feel more secure in who you are; cultivate self-worth, self-trust, and confidence; and approach your life and relationships from a place of calm, clarity, and connectedness. You’ll also learn to release your anxious fear of abandonment, move past reactivity and critical self-talk, and curb the negative impulses that sabotage healthy connections with others and keep you trapped in unhealthy relationships and situations. An insecure, anxious attachment style often springs from an unmet need for security, calm, and understanding in childhood. But you don’t have to let your past define you. You can build healthy self-awareness, trust, and empathy; as well as the ability to regulate your emotions, respond to stress, solve problems, and form secure and trusting relationships with others. This book will guide you in doing just that.
How traumatic events can break our vital connections—and how to restore love, wholeness, and resiliency in your life From our earliest years, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our daily emotional landscape, our relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. And in the wake of a traumatic event—such as a car accident, severe illness, loss of a loved one, or experience of abuse—that attachment style can deeply influence what happens next. In The Power of Attachment, Dr. Diane Poole Heller, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution, shows how overwhelming experiences can disrupt our most important connections— with the parts of ourselves within, with the physical world around us, and with others. The good news is that we can restore and reconnect at all levels, regardless of our past. Here, you’ll learn key insights and practices to help you: • Restore the broken connections caused by trauma • Get embodied and grounded in your body • Integrate the parts of yourself that feel wounded and fragmented • Emerge from grief, fear, and powerlessness to regain strength, joy, and resiliency • Reclaim access to your inner resources and spiritual nature “We are fundamentally designed to heal,” teaches Dr. Heller. “Even if our childhood is less than ideal, our secure attachment system is biologically programmed in us, and our job is to simply find out what’s interfering with it—and learn what we can do to make those secure tendencies more dominant.” With expertise drawn from Dr. Heller’s research, clinical work, and training programs, this book invites you to begin that journey back to wholeness.
"Permanently stop fear and anxiety from smothering the way you live your life, and stop settling for relationships that aren't right for you. Written by a behavioral relationship expert, Overcoming Insecure Attachment provides actionable steps on how to overcome insecure attachment styles and the problems they spawn with self-value, self-awareness and self-responsibility. Going beyond what traditional attachment theory books focus on, readers will follow eight proven steps that they can customize and organize in the way that best suits their unique needs, all the while being bolstered and championed by Tracy Crossley's friendly, bold tone"--Publisher's website.
A contemporary, culturally inclusive, and easy-to-digest relationship book for the modern age Today’s generation is changing the rules about committed relationships—and looking to create more meaning within their lives. We are more selective before getting married, with more diverse families and family structures, and we’ve seen a significant drop in divorce rates. In this new environment, what couples need more than ever are effective, flexible tools to communicate, navigate hard times, and create deeper connections with each other. Renowned Gottman therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents her most timely and proven steps for relationship success. “We’re in a cultural moment,” she says, “where people are hungry to absorb the principles for healthy relationships. This book answers that call.” Here, couples will learn how to work with the three challenges they must tackle to repair and strengthen their relationships: conflict, healing, and connection. In a supportive and relatable voice, Elizabeth simplifies complex concepts and provides core insights, exercises, and reflections to take these tested principles from the page and into real life. Culturally tuned in, LGBTQIA+ friendly, and written for both married and unmarried couples, this new paperback edition of I Want This to Work brings us an accessible guide to relationship healing and creating enduring intimacy.