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A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of men and women caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair reaches into their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She gives readers everything they need to cut through the thickets of fear, hurt and confusion to find their ways to happier, more solid relationships with the person who's right for them. For example, Kirshenbaum identifies seventeen types of affairs, helping readers figure out which type they're in and what it means. Is it a: --"See-if" affair? --Ejector-seat affair? --Distraction affair? --Unmet-needs affair? --Panic affair? Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as: --What am I missing in my marriage? --How do I decide between two people when it's like comparing an apple to an orange? --How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both? She leads readers through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity. When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair.
"A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
Exploring in depth the affair and its often painful consequences, "Love Affairs" crafts an understanding of why people become involved in extramarital affairs, and offers ways to lessen the marital damage an affair can cause. In practical, nonmoralistic ways, intensely intimate issues are examined such as love and marriage, the ethics of having love affairs, fidelity, and more.
"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships"--
"When Brian told me of his affair, my whole world was shattered. Since the affair, and since the difficult recovery period, I have excelled in amazing ways in every area of my life. I look and feel better than I did when I was in my twenties. I have more energy, more zeal and more enthusiasm for life. Since I have gotten over my insecurities, I experience far better relationships with my husband, children and others. I also have more fun. No matter what tragedies happen in our lives, we always have a choice, not a choice over what will happen to us, but a choice over how we will react to it. Will we become bitter or better? I chose to become better, and now my greatest tragedy has also become my greatest personal victory." – Anne Bercht "Would I want to go back to our marriage before the affair? Not a chance! Would I have liked to have gotten to this point some other way? Absolutely! Would I recommend an affair to others so they can reach a greater love and better marriage? Absolutely not! If you have experienced an affair, is rebuilding your marriage worth it? You bet it is! As long as you love each other and are willing to do the work." – Brian Bercht
"He rocked my foundation! Greg Baer touched me deeply. He's got the answer to finding happiness in life."—Tony Trupiano, Talk America Why do most of us search our entire lives for loving and happy relationships but rarely find them? What is the "secret something" that all relationships need in order to thrive? Dr. Greg Baer found the answers to these questions while working with thousands of individuals and couples. In Real Love, he shares his enlightening and practical blueprint for creating successful relationships and reveals the secret to finding and keeping what he calls "Real Love." In Real Love, you'll discover: · The difference between Imitation Love and Real Love · How to eliminate conflicts with spouses, children, parents, friends and colleagues · How to put an end to destructive “Getting” and “Protecting” behaviors · How Real Love can eliminate anger, resentment, and fear · The four steps to finding Real Love With Real Love as your guide you can begin to heal the wounds of your past and create rewarding and fulfilling relationships in every area of your life.
It is possible to find true love through dating. In True Love Dates, Debra Fileta encourages singles not to "kiss dating goodbye" but instead to experience a season of dating as a way to find real love. Through powerful, real-life stories and Fileta's personal journey, this book offers profound insights from the expertise of a professional counselor. Christians are looking for answers to finding true love. They are disillusioned with the church that has provided little practical application in the area of love and relationships. They're bombarded by Christian books that shun dating, idolize courting, fixate on spirituality, and in the end, offer little real relationship help. True Love Dates provides honest help for dating by providing a guide into vital relationship essentials. Debra is a professional Christian counselor who reaches millions with her popular blog, Truelovedates.com, and her book offers sound advice grounded in Christian spirituality. She delivers insight, direction, and counsel when it comes to entering the world of dating and learning to do it right the first time around. Drawing on the stories and struggles of hundreds of young men and women who have pursued the search for true love, Fileta helps readers bypass unnecessary pain while focusing on the things that really matter in the world of dating.
“Follow the advice of the top romance specialist, and you can’t go wrong.” —Woman’s World “She’s interviewed with Oprah and Phil Donahue, Time, the New York Times, USA Today, the Washington Post, Redbook and Cosmopolitan. Clearly Dr. Kate engages in no false advertising—she’s a nationally acclaimed relationship expert.” —Chicago Tribune Let’s face it, making a relationship work takes patience, perseverance, energy, and an unflagging commitment to maintain a happy healthy relationship. And sometimes, it takes a little help from a wise and knowledgeable friend. Written by celebrated psychologist-matchmaker, Dr. Kate Wachs, Relationships For Dummies is a source of inspiration and ideas on how to find and keep a healthy relationship. Whether you’ve just started dating or have been together with that special someone for years, Dr. Kate can help you: Tell the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship Have a more loving, fun-filled relationship Enjoy a more vibrant and satisfying sex life Work through most relationship problems Find the positive and the fun in every relationship stage Dr. Kate explodes common relationships and compatibility myths that cause people grief, and with the help of insightful quizzes, case studies, and real-life America Online letters Dr. Kate covers all the bases, including: Finding that special someone and knowing if it’s really Mr. or Ms. Right Pacing and nurturing intimacy in the early stages of a relationship When, where, how, and with whom to have sex when dating Knowing when and if it’s time to move in together When and if to get married Keeping psychological and emotional intimacy alive Keeping physical and sexual intimacy alive From compatibility to communication, commitment to connecting in the bedroom, Relationships For Dummies is your total guide to having the relationships you want and deserve.