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You Will Have Fun. Or Else. Nowhere in the world is there a more bizarre theme park than Happy Fun Land. Nick "Nike" Farmington's twelve years of thrill-seeking and roller coaster riding has brought him to exotic locales like Perth, Australia, Kaatsheuvel, Netherlands, and Santa Claus, Indiana. He's marathoned a roller coaster for ten consecutive hours and conquered the world's tallest and fastest. Yet nothing has prepared him for the insanity of Happy Fun Land and it's mind blowing attractions. China's amusement park industry is booming and the newest themed entertainment mecca is about to come online. In order to ensure a successful launch, they're looking to build world-wide buzz through any and all means. Nike is roped into becoming the crash-test dummy of a humongous drop tower ride with no mechanical brakes, a wooden roller coaster that goes upside down, and a death simulator (yes, you read that right). What could possibly go wrong? Follow Nike on his hilarious misadventure through China during the Chinese New Year holiday to attend the grand opening of Happy Fun Land, the world's craziest theme park. Who Should Read Happy Fun Land? Anyone who wants to read a funny story. Those looking for thoughts from a Westerner on what it's like to travel to China and what to expect. Disney theme park fans or anyone interested in theme park design or themed entertainment. If you call yourself a roller coaster enthusiast you might pick up some of the inside jokes. "It's like Jurassic Park meets Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory meets...something completely new, original, and ridiculous."
Three friends spend an enjoyable day at the amusement park, riding roller coasters, driving bumper cars, and eating cotton candy.
What tough man would a nip-cat trap if a nip-cat kid-napped man? I know what you’re thinking: “What’s a nip-cat? Who’s the man?” The man is Sammy McGuinness, a professional businessman who prefers suits to shorts and ties to lies. I’m sure you know the type: He’s the guy who makes your boss sweat because his efficiency is more boss than your actual boss. He’s the man who makes you look like a time thief because you stopped by the watercooler for a minute. Yeah, you know Sammy. You’ve probably dealt with Sammy. Maybe you hate Sammy. But, perhaps, Sammy also hates Sammy because Sammy has a secret that he cannot shake, one that makes him very angry, very angry indeed. Can the happiest place in all the land make him happy again? Or will the nip-cat push him over the edge? Amusement is the story of lies and justice, of cats and men, and of class battles at their most absurd. In a world where one powerful theme park rules the people, and knock-off brand names demand their unquestionable trust, just remember, no matter who you are, or why you’re there, nothing at this park is ever free, and Happy Fun Land will always find a way to make you pay. “Welcome to Happy Fun Land!”
Glenn Beck, the New York Times bestselling author of The Great Reset, tackles some of our country’s biggest problems in this funny, outrageous, and entertaining book. Glenn Beck believes that the reason why some of our biggest problems never seem to get fixed is simple: the solutions just aren’t very convenient. And as the host of a nationally syndicated radio show and a prime-time television show on CNN Headline News, Glenn Beck doesn’t care much about convenience; he cares about common sense. Take the issue of poverty, for example. Over the last forty years, America’s poorest cities all had one simple thing in common, but politicians will never reveal what that is (or explain how easy it would be to change). Global warming is another issue that’s rife with lies and distortion. How many times have we heard that carbon dioxide is responsible for huge natural disasters that have killed millions of people? The truth is, it’s actually the other way around: as CO2 has increased, deaths from extreme weather have decreased. But that would never be shown in an Al Gore slide show. Combining honesty with a biting sense of humor, An Inconvenient Book contains hundreds of these "why have I never heard that before?" types of facts that will leave readers wondering how political correctness, special interests, and outright stupidity have gotten us so far away from the common sense solutions this country was built on.
"If you've missed Laymon, you've missed a treat " --Stephen King The Funland Amusement Park provides more fear than fun these days. A vicious pack known as the Trolls are preying on anyone foolish enough to be alone at night. Folks in the area blame them for the recent mysterious disappearances, and a gang of local teenagers has decided to fight back. But nothing is ever what it seems in an amusement park. Behind the garish paint and bright lights waits a horror far worse than anything found in the freak show. Step right up The terror is about to begin
As a doctor, Kathleen Wooton strongly believes that laughter is the best medicine; she also believes that the best way for her to administer that â¿¿medicineâ¿¿ is by being a humorist, which allows her to give the kind of â¿¿shot in the armâ¿¿ that so many of us needâ¿¿a good belly laugh on a daily basis. As a mother, Kathy believes that ever y day she manages to sur vive motherhood without personal injury or criminal charges is a blessing. â¿¿That Girlâ¿¿s Not Rightâ¿¿ is a delightful romp through the mind and musings of Kathleen Wooton. Her hilarious commentary provides a unique and often quirky look at what other wise might be mundane life situationsâ¿¿from the entirely relatable â¿¿Why Does Water Need a Child-Proof Cap?â¿¿ to the all-too-true â¿¿Sleep Deprivation and the Exhausted Mom,â¿¿ â¿¿That Girlâ¿¿s Not Rightâ¿¿ speaks to all of us through the universal language of laughter. Whether poetry or proseâ¿¿and Wooton offers a healthy dose of eachâ¿¿the homespun humor in this collection is just what the doctor ordered.
Words have their own lives independent from their function as describers of ‘real’ worlds. They hold time and place but also can help us imagine new worlds. They preserve our experience against the dismantling force of death ... This is why I’m fascinated with words. As well as a writer, I am a painter and a poet. I teach college art and film classes and work at a variety of tasks looking for satisfaction.
Surrounded daily by people with enhanced abilities, I’m well aware I’m nothing special. Fortunately, we all have our strengths. Mine happen to be less thrilling than superhuman abilities. Data analysis and being a great match-maker—for anyone except myself—are where I shine. (Cue sad trombone noises.) All of which made it all the more confusing when my routine lab tests came back showing anomalies. Me? Enhanced? There had to be a mistake. And I’m not only one who thought so. I wanted to catch the attention of my delicious, sex-on-a-stick office mate, Andrew Hicks. But not like this... Now, tasked with partnering with Andrew to track down other undocumented Enhanced, I’m faced with two gut-wrenching decisions. Do I risk heartbreak by acting on the attraction brewing between Andrew and I? More importantly, am I doing what’s right by forcing other Enhanced out of hiding? Data Sets is approximately 54k words and is book one in a MM light sci fi/spec fic romance series, with a HFN/HEA ending.
Glenn Beck, the New York Times bestselling author of The Great Reset, provides the ultimate handbook for tackling and winning life’s most important arguments. FUNNY. FRIGHTENING. TRUE. The #1 New York Times bestseller that gives you the right answers when idiots leave you speechless! It happens to all of us: You’re minding your own business, when some idiot* informs you that guns are evil, the Prius will save the planet, or the rich have to finally start paying their fair share of taxes. Just go away! you think to yourself—but they only get more obnoxious. Your heart rate quickens. You start to sweat. But never fear, for Glenn Beck has stumbled upon the secret formula to winning arguments against people with big mouths and small minds: knowing the facts. And this book is full of them. The next time your Idiot Friends tell you how gun control prevents gun violence, you’ll tell them all about England’s handgun ban (see page 53). When they insist that we should copy the UK’s health-care system, you’ll recount the horrifying facts you read on page 244. And the next time you hear how produce prices will skyrocket without illegal workers, you’ll have the perfect rebuttal (from page 139). Armed with the ultimate weapon—the truth—you can now tolerate (and who knows, maybe even enjoy?) your encounters with idiots everywhere! *Idiots can’t be identified through voting records; look instead for people who hide behind stereotypes, embrace partisanship, and believe that bumper sticker slogans are a substitute for common sense.