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"Divorce planning for clients at midlife or beyond"--
In Gray Divorce Stories, 18 men and women who've gone through a divorce over age 50 talk about what they experienced in their marriages, their divorces, and their recoveries. Telling their own stories in their own words, each describes the good times and bad, their successes and failures, their regrets and their desires. And because they're anonymous, they do it with complete candor.Hundreds of thousands of Americans will go through a Gray Divorce this year. And they all have questions like, Are my feelings normal? What can I do to recover? What will my future be like? And so many more... The personal stories in this book can help answer those questions, as well as provide tips and guidance to make the divorce and recovery process go more smoothly. And, because so many of the interviewees have come through their divorces so well, the book can also offer inspiration and hope. In addition to those going through a Gray Divorce, common sense suggests plenty of long-married Over 50's must be considering it. Each is seeking to answer the one big question: Will I be better off if I get out? The stories in this book can provide that Divorce Curious (or "Di-Curious") reader a tremendous amount of useful information for reaching that decision.Among those who offer their stories: * Donna - She felt like a single mother during periods of her two decade marriage, knowing for years she wanted out. Finally she made the move, even though she was scared about struggling financially. Her advice to other women: You can do it. * Wendy - A successful corporate type, she was the breadwinner throughout her marriage. Though she did everything possible to support her struggling husband, she felt abandoned by him in every possible way. She was prepared to stick it out until her youngest left home, but then she met a man at a business conference... * Roger - He endured a 26 year marriage with a demanding, verbally abusive wife. The financial crash of '08 delayed his departure, but when real estate values bounced back, he got out. Roger expected to be emotionally wracked by the divorce; instead, he's thrilled to be in his apartment, golfing when he wants, with no yard work to do. * Gayla - Her long marriage was marked by poor communication and sex that felt like a chore. Finally divorced once her youngest graduated college, she spent a year working on herself before beginning to date again. Once she did, she discovered a world of sexuality unlike anything she'd ever imagined before. Any divorce is difficult and painful, but a Gray Divorce offers its own set of particular challenges. Anyone going through a divorce over 50, or considering one, can benefit from reading the first-hand experiences offered by Gray Divorce Stories.
Adult children are often overlooked and forgotten when their parents divorce later in life, but in these pages they will find comfort and understanding for the many feelings, frustrations, and challenges they face. For more than two decades, a silent revolution has been occurring and creating a seismic shift in the American family and families in other countries. It has been unfolding without much comment, and its effects are being felt across three to four generations: more couples are divorcing later in life. Called the “gray divorce revolution,” the cultural phenomenon describes couples who divorce after the age of 50. Overlooked in the issues that affect couples divorcing later in in life are the adult children of divorcing parents. Their voices open this book, and they are the voices of men and women, 18 to 50 years old. Some of them are single; some are married. Some have children of their own. All of them are in different stages of shock, fear, and sudden, dramatic change. In Home Will Never Be the Same: A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce, Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenburg share their deep understanding gained during the innumerable hours they have spent with these women and men in their clinical practices. The result is a valuable resource for these too often forgotten adult children, many of whom find that, whenever they express their feelings and experiences, the most important people in their lives frequently ignore and dismiss them. As the divorce rate for older adults soars, so too does the number of adult children who are experiencing parental divorce. Yet, these adult children frequently say that they are the only ones who are aware of what they are going through, no one understands what they are experiencing, and they feel painfully alone.
This highly anticipated second edition of Splitting includes new chapters on abuse, alienation, and false allegations; as well as information about the four types of domestic violence, protective orders, and child custody disputes. Are you divorcing someone who’s making the process as difficult as possible? Are they sending you nasty emails, falsifying the truth, putting your children in the middle, abusing you, or abusing the system? Are they “persuasive blamers,” manipulating and fooling court personnel to get them on their side? If so, you need this book. For more than ten years, Splitting has served as the ultimate guide for people divorcing a high conflict person, one who often has borderline or narcissistic (or even antisocial) personality disorder. Among other things, it has saved readers thousands of dollars, helped them keep custody of their children, and effectively guided them through a difficult legal and emotional process. Written by a family law attorney and therapist, and the author of Stop Walking on Eggshells, Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a persuasive blamer: someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and/or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). This second edition includes new information about antisocial personalities; expanded information about domestic violence, child abuse, alienation, and false allegations; how to approach protective orders and deal with child custody disputes; and a new chapter on how to successfully present your case to decision makers. Turn to this guide to help you: Predict what your spouse may do or say in court Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking Choose a lawyer who understands your case Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you If you need help navigating a high-conflict divorce from a manipulative spouse, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way.
Seventy now-adult children of divorce give their candid and often heart-wrenching answers to eight questions (arranged in eight chapters, by question), including: What were the main effects of your parents' divorce on your life? What do you say to those who claim that "children are resilient" and "children are happy when their parents are happy"? What would you like to tell your parents then and now? What do you want adults in our culture to know about divorce? What role has your faith played in your healing? Their simple and poignant responses are difficult to read and yet not without hope. Most of the contributors--women and men, young and old, single and married--have never spoken of the pain and consequences of their parents' divorce until now. They have often never been asked, and they believe that no one really wants to know. Despite vastly different circumstances and details, the similarities in their testimonies are striking; as the reader will discover, the death of a child's family impacts the human heart in universal ways.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
The complex, deeply binding relationship between mothers and daughters is brought vividly to life in Katie Hafner’s remarkable memoir, an exploration of the year she and her mother, Helen, spent working through, and triumphing over, a lifetime of unresolved emotions. Dreaming of a “year in Provence” with her mother, Katie urges Helen to move to San Francisco to live with her and Zoë, Katie’s teenage daughter. Katie and Zoë had become a mother-daughter team, strong enough, Katie thought, to absorb the arrival of a seventy-seven-year-old woman set in her ways. Filled with fairy-tale hope that she and her mother would become friends, and that Helen would grow close to her exceptional granddaughter, Katie embarked on an experiment in intergenerational living that she would soon discover was filled with land mines: memories of her parents’ painful divorce, of her mother’s drinking, of dislocating moves back and forth across the country, and of Katie’s own widowhood and bumpy recovery. Helen, for her part, was also holding difficult issues at bay. How these three women from such different generations learn to navigate their challenging, turbulent, and ultimately healing journey together makes for riveting reading. By turns heartbreaking and funny—and always insightful—Katie Hafner’s brave and loving book answers questions about the universal truths of family that are central to the lives of so many. Praise for Mother Daughter Me “The most raw, honest and engaging memoir I’ve read in a long time.”—KJ Dell’Antonia, The New York Times “A brilliant, funny, poignant, and wrenching story of three generations under one roof, unlike anything I have ever read.”—Abraham Verghese, author of Cutting for Stone “Weaving past with present, anecdote with analysis, [Katie] Hafner’s riveting account of multigenerational living and mother-daughter frictions, of love and forgiveness, is devoid of self-pity and unafraid of self-blame. . . . [Hafner is] a bright—and appealing—heroine.”—Cathi Hanauer, Elle “[A] frank and searching account . . . Currents of grief, guilt, longing and forgiveness flow through the compelling narrative.”—Steven Winn, San Francisco Chronicle “A touching saga that shines . . . We see how years-old unresolved emotions manifest.”—Lindsay Deutsch, USA Today “[Hafner’s] memoir shines a light on nurturing deficits repeated through generations and will lead many readers to relive their own struggles with forgiveness.”—Erica Jong, People “An unusually graceful story, one that balances honesty and tact . . . Hafner narrates the events so adeptly that they feel enlightening.”—Harper’s “Heartbreakingly honest, yet not without hope and flashes of wry humor.”—Kirkus Reviews “[An] emotionally raw memoir examining the delicate, inevitable shift from dependence to independence and back again.”—O: The Oprah Magazine (Ten Titles to Pick Up Now) “Scrap any romantic ideas about what goes on when a 40-something woman invites her mother to live with her and her teenage daughter for a year. As Hafner hilariously and touchingly tells it, being the center of a family sandwich is, well, complicated.”—Parade
Karen and Rob Burrows have always handled just about everything well—but what about divorce? Karen and Rob were always great partners, and together they built a life filled with success, good friends, and a beautiful son, Tommy. But as they each get caught up in the stresses of their careers, they realize they lack one thing—real, enduring love for each other. Can two parents who respect each other manage a pain-free separation? Mr. and Mrs. Burrows will try, even if it means asking their confused son to manage as perfectly as they do. With the insight and compassion of his classic Kramer vs. Kramer, in A Perfect Divorce Avery Corman reveals the raw hurt of a broken family, the effort of building newly separate lives, and the collateral damage even the most amiable divorce can inflict. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Avery Corman including rare images from the author’s personal collection.
Thanks to advances in technology, medicine, Social Security, and Medicare, old age for many Americans is characterized by comfortable retirement, good health, and fulfilling relationships. But there are also millions of people over 65 who struggle with poverty, chronic illness, unsafe housing, social isolation, and mistreatment by their caretakers. What accounts for these disparities among older adults? Sociologist Deborah Carr’s Golden Years? draws insights from multiple disciplines to illuminate the complex ways that socioeconomic status, race, and gender shape the nearly every aspect of older adults’ lives. By focusing on an often-invisible group of vulnerable elders, Golden Years? reveals that disadvantages accumulate across the life course and can diminish the well-being of many. Carr connects research in sociology, psychology, epidemiology, gerontology, and other fields to explore the well-being of older adults. On many indicators of physical health, such as propensity for heart disease or cancer, black seniors fare worse than whites due to lifetimes of exposure to stressors such as economic hardships and racial discrimination and diminished access to health care. In terms of mental health, Carr finds that older women are at higher risk of depression and anxiety than men, yet older men are especially vulnerable to suicide, a result of complex factors including the rigid masculinity expectations placed on this generation of men. Carr finds that older adults’ physical and mental health are also closely associated with their social networks and the neighborhoods in which they live. Even though strong relationships with spouses, families, and friends can moderate some of the health declines associated with aging, women—and especially women of color—are more likely than men to live alone and often cannot afford home health care services, a combination that can be isolating and even fatal. Finally, social inequalities affect the process of dying itself, with white and affluent seniors in a better position to convey their end-of-life preferences and use hospice or palliative care than their disadvantaged peers. Carr cautions that rising economic inequality, the lingering impact of the Great Recession, and escalating rates of obesity and opioid addiction, among other factors, may contribute to even greater disparities between the haves and the have-nots in future cohorts of older adults. She concludes that policies, such as income supplements for the poorest older adults, expanded paid family leave, and universal health care could ameliorate or even reverse some disparities. A comprehensive analysis of the causes and consequences of later-life inequalities, Golden Years? demonstrates the importance of increased awareness, strong public initiatives, and creative community-based programs in ensuring that all Americans have an opportunity to age well.