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New York Times bestseller Introduction by New York Times bestselling author and famous minor television personality John Hodgman One of my dad’s favorite jokes about getting older was: “I went out for coffee when I was twenty-one and when I got back I was fifty-eight!” I get what he meant now. Time flies. My first book, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a "B" Movie Actor, was published back in 2001 and it chronicles the adventures of a “mid-grade, kind of hammy actor" (my words), cutting his teeth on exploitation movies far removed from mainstream Hollywood. This next book, an “Act II” if you will, could be considered my “maturing years” in show business, when I began to say “no” more often and gravitated toward self-generated material. Taking stock in the overall quality of my life, I fled Los Angeles and moved to a remote part of Oregon to renew, regroup and reload. If that sounds tame, the journey from Evil Dead to Spider-Man to Burn Notice was long, with plenty of adventures/mishaps along the way. I never pictured myself hovering above Baghdad in a Blackhawk helicopter, facing a pack of wild dogs in Bulgaria, or playing an aging Elvis Presley with cancer on his penis - how can you predict this stuff? The sheer lunacy of show business is part of the fun for me and I hope you'll come along for the ride. – Bruce “Don’t Call Me Ash” Campbell
If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor Here we are together in the digital universe. Somehow, you've clicked yourself to this page. If you came here of your own free will and desire, you and I are going to get along just fine. Life is full of choices. Right now, yours is whether or not to download the autobiography of a mid-grade, kind of hammy actor. Am I supposed to know this guy? you think to yourself. No-and that's exactly the point. You can download a terabyte of books about famous actors and their high-falootin' shenanigans. I don't want to be a spoilsport, but we've all been down that road before. Scroll down to that Judy Garland biography. You know plenty about her already-great voice, troubled life. Scroll down a little further to the Charlton Heston book. Same deal. You know his story too-great voice, troubled toupee. The truth is that though you might not have a clue who I am-unless you watch cable very late at night-there are countless working stiffs like me out there, grinding away every day at the wheel of fortune. If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor documents my time in blue-collar Hollywood, where movies are cheap, the hours are long, and the filmmaking process can be very personal. To keep up with the times, I've digitized Chins. It was originally published in hardcover/analog fifteen years ago, which is a vast amount of time in the evolution of books and technology, and it was time to get current. The advance of technology is great for a book like this, which is jammed full of pictures. When it came out originally, the photographs all had to be black and white and moderately sized on the page. Now, any photo that was originally taken in color can strut its stuff. Overall, the resolution of the images is off-the-charts better than the first go-around. This is one "sequel" that I'm happy to be a part of, since we could make so many technical improvements. The process was very similar to restoring an old movie. Since I knew that it was going to be reissued, I also had a look at the story being told and decided to condense, move, or clarify some chapters, all or in part. I also tried to add a hint of historical context, since it has been a decade and a half since Chins first came out. I hope you enjoy it. Regards, Bruce Campbell
What you're reading right now is known as the "cover copy," or “flap copy.” This is where the 84,951 words of my latest book are cooked down to 350 words or less to capture your imagination/download. I pondered how to do that. Should I cut to the chase and reveal pivotal plot points like the one at the end of the book where the little girl on crutches points an accusing finger and shouts, "the killer is Mr. Porter"? No. I have too much respect for you as an intelligent consumer to attempt such an obvious ruse. But let's not play games here. You clicked your way to this page, so you either: A. Know who I am. B. Like the cool smoking jacket I'm wearing on the cover. Or: C. Thought this was a secret link to Ashley Madison. Is it a sequel to my autobiography If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor? Sadly, no, which made it much harder to write. Is it an "autobiographical novel"? Yes. I am the lead character in the story (coincidentally an actor), and I am a real person, and everything in the book actually happened - except for the stuff that didn't. The action revolves around my preparations for a pivotal role in the A-list relationship film, Let's Make Love! My Homeric attempt to break through the glass ceiling of B-grade genre fair is hampered by a vengeful studio executive and a production that becomes infected by something called the "B-movie virus" - symptoms of which include excessive use of cheesy special effects, slapstick, and projectile vomiting. From a violent fistfight with a Buddhist to a life-altering stint in federal prison, this novel has it all. And if the 84,951 words are too time-consuming, there are lots and lots of cool graphics – all of which have been upgraded to vibrant color since the first publication. I hope you enjoy the book – and if you learn anything at all about making love, please share it with me! Regards, Bruce "Go Ahead and Call Me Ash" Campbell
The Cool Side of My Pillow is a collection of essays by actor, cult icon and New York Times bestselling author Bruce Campbell, sharing some of his experiences and observations outside of the entertainment industry.In Campbell's own words, "What's it about? Mostly, things that matter to me, like putting in the effort, being honest and not treating the environment like it's the enemy. Is it self-help? I hope not, but you will find musings about fame, mysterious carvings, UFOs and my general disdain of loud noises. Is it political? If it is, I'll refund your money. There are no conspiracy theories in The Cool Side of my Pillow, just snarky humor and a sincere desire for us all to find peace on earth."
A frisky, feminine, funny, and profoundly genuine essay collection on relationships, sex, motherhood, and finding yourself, by the editor of New York Magazine's Sex Diaries. Alyssa Shelasky has a lot to tell you. In this hilarious and intimate essay collection, Alyssa navigates life as a wild-hearted woman and her thrilling career as a sex, relationship, and celebrity writer in New York City. From double-booking an interview with Sarah Jessica Parker and an abortion appointment and unsuccessfully quitting sex and men entirely to have a baby via an anonymous sperm donor, to hooking up with a hot musician while eight months pregnant and then finding her life partner but vowing to never get married, Alyssa's essays paint a deeply genuine, romantic, and uproarious portrait of a woman who craves both love and lust, and refuses to settle or sacrifice her fierce inner-spirit, sometimes to her own regret and detriment. And she's not afraid to give you every single beautiful, messy, embarrassing, and emotional detail of her bleeding heart and busy bedroom. This Might Be Too Personal is like having (several) drinks with your best friend who has seen, heard, and done everything. Literally, everything. Told in a refreshing candor with jolts of humor, undeniable relatability, and irresistible energy, Alyssa’s book is the ultimate meditation on living an authentic life with big feelings, hard decisions, and the small victories and painful mistakes of motherhood, womanhood, and profound independence.
In a country torn between left and right, two politicians are about to make history. How? By working together! In a nutshell, that's the premise of this book.House Divided is a political satire, but it's really a political fantasy, because it takes two opposing candidates, who wouldn't normally be caught dead together, and challenges them to spend a weekend in the remote Oregon desert - hiking together, camping together, even getting wasted together!Having lived in rural Oregon for over twenty years, I can assure you that the characters presented in this fictional book are almost all based on actual people. In the Oregon backcountry, almost anything goes, so the idea that a "far-right" veteran and a "far-out" hippie might run for the same county commissioner seat is not as absurd as you might think.While this book was not written to solve the country's political problems, I do think we need to have a laugh at both sides and everything in-between - it's time to put the party back into politics!
“Will hit all the high notes for theater and mystery fans alike.” —Kirkus Reviews Better Nate than Ever meets Love Sugar Magic in this spooky middle grade novel from Hamilton and Broadway star Mandy Gonzalez about a group of young thespians who must face the ghost haunting their theater. Twelve-year-old Monica Garcia has arrived in NYC with her grandmother and a few suitcases to live her dream on Broadway. She’s been chosen as understudy to the star of Our Time, the famed Ethel Merman Theater’s last chance to produce a hit before it shutters its doors for good. Along with her fellow castmates—a.k.a. “the squad”—Monica has a big and very personal reason to want this show to succeed. But rumors of a long-running curse plague the theater. And when strange and terrible things start to threaten their hopes for a successful opening night, Monica and the rest of the squad must figure out how to reverse the curse before their big Broadway debuts. With the help of her new friends, her family, and a little magic, can Monica help save the show—and save their dreams? From Broadway and television star Mandy Gonzalez comes a story about what it means to dream, be yourself, and be fearless.
B-movie megastar Bruce Campbell of Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, and Bubba Ho-Tep fame comes to comics with this adaptation of his upcoming feature film. With more talent than you could fit in his freakishly large chin, Campbell not only co-wrote the film with David Goodman, but directed and starred in it as well. However, in order to see his vision realized unadulterated by budgetary constraints, Campbell put the version of the script he wanted to shoot into the hands of artists Rick Remender and Hilary Barta. Man with the Screaming Brain tells the story of a wealthy American businessman determined to exploit the crippled economy of a former Soviet state torn between communist roots and capitalist greed. But when Campbell's character hits on the wrong gypsy girl, he soon finds himself in the grip of a mad scientist with a twisted brain-transplant scheme worthy of Dr. Frankenstein.
“Confessions of a Puppetmaster is a fast, funny, wild ride through some wild times. Plus, Charlie compares me to Harrison Ford, so I’m all in!” —Bill Maher Renowned producer, director, and “B movie” showman Charles Band takes readers on a wild romp through Hollywood’s decidedly un-Oscar-worthy underbelly, where mayhem and zombies reign supreme, and cheap thrills and entertainment are king "This book is a blast. It made me want to stay up all night and watch terrible movies." —Peter Sagal "One of the most entertaining film bios ever." —Larry Karaszewski "Reads like a Tarantino film written by Hunter S. Thompson." —Booklist Zombies, aliens, a little skin, lots of gore—and even more laughs—the cinematic universe of Charles Band is legendary. From the toilet-invading creatures of Ghoulies to the time-travelling bounty hunter in Trancers to the pandemic-crashed Corona Zombies, Band has spent four decades giving B-movie lovers exactly what they love. In Confessions of a Puppetmaster, this congenial master of Grindhouse cinema tells his own story, uncut. Born into a family of artists, Band spent much of his childhood in Rome where his father worked in the film industry. Early visits to movie sets sealed young Charlie’s fate. By his twenties he had plunged into moviemaking himself and found his calling in exploitation movies—quick, low-budget efforts that exploit the zeitgeist and feed people’s desire for clever, low-brow entertainment. His films crossed genres, from vampire flicks to sci fi to erotic musical adaptations of fairy tales. As he came into his own as a director, he was the first to give starring roles to household names like Demi Moore, Helen Hunt, and Bill Maher. Off set, Band’s life has been equally epic. Returning to his beloved Italy, he bought both Dino De Laurentiis’s movie studio and a medieval castle. After Romania’s oppressive communist regime fell, he circumvented the U.S. State Department to shoot films in Dracula’s homeland. He made—and then lost—a moviemaking fortune. A visionary, Band was also at the vanguard of the transition to home video and streaming, making and distributing direct-to-video movies long before the major studios caught on. In this revealing tell-all, Band details the dizzying heights and catastrophic depths of his four decades in showbiz. A candid and engaging glimpse at Hollywood’s wild side, Confessions of a Puppetmaster is as entertaining as the movies that made this consummate schlockmeister famous.
Provides classroom strategies and applications based on Gardner's "Theory of Multiple Intellgences."