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Everyone who plays golf-and many who don't-have something to say about the game.Now, Most Outrageous Golf Quotes Ever captures the best and the brightest, the worst and the most wicked words describing one of the most challenging games ever invented. Golf legends such as Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, and Tiger Woods weigh in, but so do a host of unlikely duffers from Winston Churchill to Bill Clinton. They're all here, and so are their unforgettable words on golf.
This funny golf book contains quotes from pros, amateurs and duffers who simply love the game. Lee Trevino, Gary Player, Bob Hope, Arnold Palmer, Chi Chi Rodriguez, Dave Barry, and Sam Snead--they're all here, spouting outrageous quotes about golf from the first tee to the 19th hole.
For us rabbits the game of golf is a constant battle between fantasy and reality. The great hopes and ambitions that accompany us on the first tee quickly evaporate by a combination of mother nature, gravity and the cruelest of luck. One of the charms of the Great Game is that we are constantly chasing what is, in theory, attainable but in reality highly elusive. It is a perpetual series of occasions for hope. David Feherty summed it up when he said; "Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle." It is astonishing how long the occasional miracle can remain in the memory to the total eclipse of all else. Golf is a game whose hook is baited with hope. This book is a compendium of quotes from players who have been similarly troubled by the journey from great hopes to cruel reality. I hope you enjoy their reflections.
God Loves Golfers Best is the ultimate collection of golf jokes, quotes, and cartoons sure to tickle the funny bone of any avid duffer. A perfect gift or self-purchase for the golf fan in your life! Examples from God Loves Golfers Best: Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green, and end up in the hole. What should you do if lightning strikes during your round? Walk around holding a 1-iron, because even God can't hit a 1-iron! A man is getting married and is standing by his bride at the church. Standing beside him are his golf clubs and bag. His bride whispers, "What are your golf clubs doing here?" The groom replies, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?" In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
Whether readers are relatively new to the game of golf or old hands with impressive handicaps, most golfers share an unbridled enthusiasm for the game as proven by the blockbuster success of the first Chicken Soup for the Golfer's Soul. Due to popular demand, the coauthors have compiled this follow-up filled with more stories to celebrate the foibles, feats and famous people on the fairway.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER "Reilly pokes more holes in Trump's claims than there are sand traps on all of his courses combined. It is by turns amusing and alarming."-- The New Yorker "Golf is the spine of this shocking, wildly humorous book, but humanity is its flesh and spirit." -- Chicago Sun-Times "Every one of Trump's most disgusting qualities surfaces in golf." -- The Ringer An outrageous indictment of Donald Trump's appalling behavior when it comes to golf -- on and off the green -- and what it reveals about his character. Donald Trump loves golf. He loves to play it, buy it, build it, and operate it. He owns 14 courses around the world and runs another five, all of which he insists are the best on the planet. He also claims he's a 3 handicap, almost never loses, and has won an astonishing 18 club championships. How much of all that is true? Almost none of it, acclaimed sportswriter Rick Reilly reveals in this unsparing look at Trump in the world of golf. Based on Reilly's own experiences with Trump as well as interviews with over 100 golf pros, amateurs, developers, and caddies, Commander in Cheat is a startling and at times hilarious indictment of Trump and his golf game. You'll learn how Trump cheats (sometimes with the help of his caddies and Secret Service agents), lies about his scores (the "Trump Bump"), tells whoppers about the rank of his courses and their worth (declaring that every one of them is worth $50 million), and tramples the etiquette of the game (driving on greens doesn't help). Trump doesn't brag so much, though, about the golf contractors he stiffs, the course neighbors he intimidates, or the way his golf decisions wind up infecting his political ones. For Trump, it's always about winning. To do it, he uses the tricks he picked up from the hustlers at the public course where he learned the game as a college kid, and then polished as one of the most bombastic businessmen of our time. As Reilly writes, "Golf is like bicycle shorts. It reveals a lot about a man." Commander in Cheat "paints a side-splitting portrait of a congenital cheater" (Esquire), revealing all kinds of unsightly truths Trump has been hiding.
In James Patterson's follow-up to I Funny, middle schooler Jamie Grimm is ready for the national comedy semi-finals. . . but when his family and friends need his help, will he have to put his dreams on hold? In this follow up to the #1 New York Times bestseller I Funny, middle schooler Jamie Grimm has big dreams of being the best stand-up comic in the world-and he won't let the fact that he's wheelchair-bound stand in his way. After winning the New York state finals in the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic Contest, Jamie's off to Boston to compete in the national semi-finals. But when one of his best buddies runs into trouble at school and a sudden family health scare rears its head, Jamie has to put his comedic ambitions on hold and stand by the people he cares about. Can Jamie pass up the big competition for the sake of his friends and family?
This book was written for all the weekend hackers who are hopelessly addicted to chasing a little white ball all over God's green earth. These are just some of the best excuses that I have heard and used for terrible shots.