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These twenty of the funniest stories on the face of the Earth will keep you laughing all day long!
The author of Fat Girls and Lawn Chairsis back with a funny and poignant new collection of personal stories about growing up a misfit. A collection of stories for anyone who shuddered at the idea of senior prom, Revenge of the Paste Eaters is about the way the experiences of childhood stay with us and shape us into adults. Cheryl Peck applies her signature wit to more personal stories and reflections-about hurting people and getting hurt, about discovering who you are and who you want to be, about feeling "not good enough," and about being bigger-physically and mentally-than many of the people surrounding you. This is a wickedly funny view of what it's like to be a middle-aged woman in middle-America, and what really happened to the kids who were different.
The only way to secure her dream is to marry a handsome stranger . . . When Rose and Jack meet, she has just lost her uncle, and with him her dream of owning a coffee shop. Rose wanted nothing more than to open a café in her uncle’s building. But her uncle’s will is clear – the building goes to Rose’s husband. Not to her. Then, his lawyer, Jack, offers an unusual solution… she can marry him. She’ll get the café and he’ll get the building. For some reason, Rose agrees. It might be a marriage of convenience but it’s anything but simple. Despite it being his idea, Jack is unbearably surly... But then he does something that shows Rose he might just have a softer side. Maybe love can start with a contract… but will Rose still feel that way when she learns the full terms of their deal?
Guns Galore is a thriller based in London during 1970 to 1990. The main markets for weapons dealers are Europe with North America, then they search the world for more surplus guns to buy and sell.Dealing has many risks. Although Guns Galore is mainly a non-fiction work, some dramatisation has been added to highlight the effects of shootings, murder, and kidnapping.Working for Sam Cummings of Interarms fame, the author turns into a dealer with him and his rival Bill Sucher of Century Arms both based in the USA. This leads to a world of international arms dealingInternational armouries must be sourced to find weapons. These hold mainly obsolete WW2 vintage guns. German and American weapons are highly sought after, followed by those of British manufacture. The reader is they come onto the market and become appreciating assets.Fraud of various types is often used by dealers and in-country agents are required to deal with governments. Commissions are paid to gain advantage, some hidden in slush funds. It's a mine field.Security services monitor dealers. Some will be used in secret shipments to hide government involvement with fake end user certificates.In Guns Galore, when Russia invades Afghanistan, President Carter supplies 70,000 WW2 rifles. Russia bans all weapon sales from the Eastern bloc, so other sources of supply must be found.
Hardly hidden even beneath the thick skin of country vernacular Killams keen intellect and droll Yankee wit repeatedly endorse common sense and practicality. His northern New England sense of humor oft comes across with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Little sympathy is shown for business representatives who after utterly failing to address your problem apologetically proceed to ask if there is anything else they can do for you. Focus recurrently pinpoints the lost art of listening, service personnel who fail to provide service and the irony and diffi culty of communicating via modern technology wielding the capacity but not the brainpower. Fun is poked at our current propensity for serving rules and regulations rather than each other. Yet overriding all is an innate concern and compassion for people, particularly for young folk. In this new collection of poems, essays and stories Killam is quick to evoke tears, pathos, laughter; -----to preach or to ridicule; ----- but above all to entertain.
From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Party Crasher and Love Your Life comes “a hilarious tale . . . hijinks worthy of classic I Love Lucy episodes . . . too good to pass up.” (USA Today) “Sophie Kinsella keeps her finger on the cultural pulse, while leaving me giddy with laughter.”—Jojo Moyes, author of The Giver of Stars and The Last Letter from Your Lover Becky Bloomwood has a fabulous flat in London’s trendiest neighborhood, a troupe of glamorous socialite friends, and a closet brimming with the season’s must-haves. The only trouble is, she can’t actually afford it—not any of it. Her job writing at Successful Saving magazine not only bores her to tears, it doesn’t pay much at all. And lately Becky’s been chased by dismal letters from the bank—letters with large red sums she can’t bear to read. She tries cutting back. But none of her efforts succeeds. Her only consolation is to buy herself something . . . just a little something. Finally a story arises that Becky actually cares about, and her front-page article catalyzes a chain of events that will transform her life—and the lives of those around her—forever. Praise for Sophie Kinsella and Confessions of a Shopaholic “Kinsella’s Bloomwood is plucky and funny. . . . You won’t have to shop around to find a more winning protagonist.”—People “If a crème brûlée could be transmogrified into a book, it would be Confessions of a Shopaholic.”—The Star-Ledger “A have-your-cake-and-eat-it romp, done with brio and not a syllable of moralizing. . . . Kinsella has a light touch and puckish humor.”—Kirkus Reviews
A brand-new standalone novel in the New York Times bestselling Briar U series! What I learned after last year’s distractions cost my hockey team our entire season? No more screwing up. No more screwing, period. As the new team captain, I need a new philosophy: hockey and school now, women later. Which means that I, Hunter Davenport, am officially going celibate…no matter how hard that makes things. But there’s nothing in the rulebook that says I can’t be friends with a woman. And I won’t lie—my new classmate Demi Davis is one cool chick. Her smart mouth is hot as hell, and so is the rest of her, but the fact that she’s got a boyfriend eliminates the temptation to touch her. Except three months into our friendship, Demi is single and looking for a rebound. And she’s making a play for me. Avoiding her is impossible. We’re paired up on a yearlong school project, but I’m confident I can resist her. We’d never work, anyway. Our backgrounds are too different, our goals aren’t aligned, and her parents hate my guts. Hooking up is a very bad idea. Now I just have to convince my body—and my heart.
When a technology company can buy your personal freedom Scott is a hacker ready to prove that a single voice can be a powerful weapon.Scott's skills as a surveillance expert are useful when he's breaking down firewalls. But hacktivism isn't enough; he's going after the holy grail-UltSyn's Human Information Drives, human assets implanted with cerebral microchips. After digging deeper into restricted databases, he discovers that those who enlist with UltSyn get far more than they bargained for. Plunged into a world of human trafficking and corporate espionage, Scott is determined to find his sister, no matter the cost. But when the information reveals the people closest to him have been working for UltSyn all along, he has to find her-before UltSyn finds him.
This book will tell all you need to know about British English spelling. It's a reference work intended for anyone interested in the English language, especially those who teach it, whatever the age or mother tongue of their students. It will be particularly useful to those wishing to produce well-designed materials for teaching initial literacy via phonics, for teaching English as a foreign or second language, and for teacher training. English spelling is notoriously complicated and difficult to learn; it is correctly described as much less regular and predictable than any other alphabetic orthography. However, there is more regularity in the English spelling system than is generally appreciated. This book provides, for the first time, a thorough account of the whole complex system. It does so by describing how phonemes relate to graphemes and vice versa. It enables searches for particular words, so that one can easily find, not the meanings or pronunciations of words, but the other words with which those with unusual phoneme-grapheme/grapheme-phoneme correspondences keep company. Other unique features of this book include teacher-friendly lists of correspondences and various regularities not described by previous authorities, for example the strong tendency for the letter-name vowel phonemes (the names of the letters ) to be spelt with those single letters in non-final syllables.
A collection of stories features a pair of centuries-old vampires whose relationship is tested by a sudden fear of flying, a dejected teen who communicates with the universe, and a massage therapist who heals a tattooed veteran by manipulating the imageson his body.