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​When straight men talk to each other about their sex lives, they often boast about sexual exploits and brag about the hot women they have slept with. Yet this competitive bluster covers up deep-seated anxieties about measuring up to impossibly virile cultural ideals of masculinity. So how do straight men really feel about sex, women, and manhood--and how do those feelings clash with their public performance of manliness? This landmark sociological study emerges from in-depth interviews with nearly one hundred straight American men aged 20 to 68 from a variety of socioeconomic and ethnic backgrounds. Getting It, Having It, Keeping It Up examines how these men use sex with women as a way of affirming their manhood--and how they view themselves as failures when they are unable to "score." It also explores the effects of aging and erectile dysfunction on the men's self-image. However, the life stories collected here are not just about performance anxiety, as this research reveals ways that some straight men have resisted masculine cultural scripts to form mutually nurturing relationships with women.
As a man ages, a slow decline takes root that, day to day, is imperceptible. Sometime around age 30, levels of the male hormone testosterone begin to drop each year. One morning he looks in the mirror and sees someone who he doesn't recognize. He's tired-looking, lacks motivation, his belly is sagging over his belt, his mind is foggy and maybe even his sex drive has evaporated. What happened? "Oh, you're just getting older," people tell him--even his doctor! Endocrinologist Florence Comite, MD, doesn't believe we should accept aging as is. She believes any man can restore his body, mind, and energy; prevent disease; and feel strong, confident, and in control once again. Keep It Up will show you how to quantify your own health and then make key changes that will reduce your belly fat and risk of diabetes, revitalize your sex drive and strengthen your erections, and give you more muscle and greater mental agility. Because testosterone affects all of the above aspects of a man's vitality, Dr. Comite shows readers how the cutting edge science of hormone optimization is an effective way to prevent the disorders of aging. "Testosterone optimization can absolutely change a man's life," Dr. Comite says. It can reduce fat, build lean muscle and reverse disease but the most important benefit, she says, "is the feeling of being 'recharged'-feeling more focused, more vigorous, more masculine, more alive." Key chapters in Keep It Up include: - The Metabolic Tests - The Hormone Tests - The Sleep and Stress Connection - Great Sex, Your Second Act - Building a High-Performance Body - The Truth about Hormone Therapies - Advanced Diagnostics - The Future of Medicine, Today
Scholars and social critics are looking at gender and sexuality, as well as masculinity, in new ways and with more attention to the way cultural ideologies affect men’s and women’s lives. With the rise of an online “incel” (involuntarily celibate) community and the perpetration of acts of violence in their name, as well as increased awareness about the complexities of sexual interaction brought to the fore by the #metoo movement, it has become critical to discuss how men’s sexuality and masculinity are related, as well as the way men feel about the messages they get about being a man. Prior research on masculinity and masculine sexuality has examined the experiences of adolescent boys. But what happens to boys as they become men and as many move away from homo-social environments into sexual relationships? What happens when they no longer have a crowd of peers to posture or perform for? How do their sexual experiences and sexual selves change? How do they prove their masculinity in a society that demands it when they are no longer surrounded by peers? And how do they cultivate sexual selves and sexual self-confidence in a culture that expects them to always already be knowledgeable, desiring sexual subjects? In Getting It, Having It, Keeping It Up, Beth Montemurro explores the cultivation of heterosexual men’s sexual selves. Based on detailed, in-depth interviews with a large, diverse group of heterosexual men between the ages of 20 and 68, she investigates how getting sex, having sex, and keeping up their sex lives matters to men. Ultimately, Montemurro uncovers the tension between public, cultural narratives about hetero-masculinity and men’s private, sexual selves and their intimate experiences.
Keeping Up, Moving Ahead, and Getting the Career you want
The National Book Critics Circle Award–winning author delivers a collection of essays that serve as the perfect “antidote to mansplaining” (The Stranger). In her comic, scathing essay “Men Explain Things to Me,” Rebecca Solnit took on what often goes wrong in conversations between men and women. She wrote about men who wrongly assume they know things and wrongly assume women don’t, about why this arises, and how this aspect of the gender wars works, airing some of her own hilariously awful encounters. She ends on a serious note— because the ultimate problem is the silencing of women who have something to say, including those saying things like, “He’s trying to kill me!” This book features that now-classic essay with six perfect complements, including an examination of the great feminist writer Virginia Woolf’s embrace of mystery, of not knowing, of doubt and ambiguity, a highly original inquiry into marriage equality, and a terrifying survey of the scope of contemporary violence against women. “In this series of personal but unsentimental essays, Solnit gives succinct shorthand to a familiar female experience that before had gone unarticulated, perhaps even unrecognized.” —The New York Times “Essential feminist reading.” —The New Republic “This slim book hums with power and wit.” —Boston Globe “Solnit tackles big themes of gender and power in these accessible essays. Honest and full of wit, this is an integral read that furthers the conversation on feminism and contemporary society.” —San Francisco Chronicle “Essential.” —Marketplace “Feminist, frequently funny, unflinchingly honest and often scathing in its conclusions.” —Salon
Discover how your differences can become the strength of your marriage in this real-life guide to both living with and loving your spouse. It is true that opposites attract--for a while. But often as the years go by in our marriages, opposites may also begin to attack. The habits and characteristics we once found endearing about our significant other are the exact things that drive us crazy years later! Whether you and your spouse disagree about finances, parenting, or how to load the dishwasher, your differences don't need to divide you. They can actually bring you closer together--and closer to God. In Keep Showing Up, Karen Ehman shows you . . . How to play to each other's strengths as you work on your own weaknesses The difference between having a soul mate and having a sole mate How to become a faithful forgiver who also forgets Strategies for avoiding the social media comparison trap Why it's dangerous to mimic a friend's marriage How to unearth the magic in the mundane Why a spouse who drives you crazy can drive you straight to Jesus Throughout Keep Showing Up, Karen also includes ideas to implement in your marriage right now, such as powerful statements to speak to your spouse, date-night-on-a-shoestring suggestions, and discussion starters.
My Misspent Youth is an incisive collection that marked the start of a new millennium and became a cult classic, from the editor of Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed and the author of The Unspeakable An essayist in the tradition of Joan Didion, Meghan Daum is one of the most celebrated nonfiction writers of her generation, widely recognized for her fresh, provocative approach with which she unearths the hidden fault lines in the American landscape. From her well remembered New Yorker essays about the financial demands of big-city ambition and the ethereal, strangely old-fashioned allure of cyber-relationships to her dazzlingly hilarious riff in Harper's about musical passions that give way to middle-brow paraphernalia, Daum delves into the center of things while closely examining the detritus that spills out along the way. With precision and well-balanced irony, Daum implicates herself as readily as she does the targets that fascinate and horrify her.
Hyacinth Bucket - pronounced Bouquet - star of the BBC1 comedy series, Keeping Up Appearances, imparts her personal views on protecting one's social standing. There are sections on etiquette in the home, entertaining, social obligations, how to strike up an acquaintance with members of the aristocracy, and improving the mind. They all give an insight into Hyacinth's philosophy of life, developed through years of candle-light suppers and charity sub-committee meetings.
"Meeting a huge demand, Peg Dawson and Richard Guare (authors of the bestselling Smart but Scattered books focusing on kids and teens) now provide a state of the art resource specifically geared to adults. Drs. Dawson and Guare offer expert guidance for boosting executive skills--the core brain based abilities needed to get more done with less stress. Readers will be drawn in by realistic examples, self quizzes, and science based tools for strengthening time management, organization, emotional control, and more. And what you can't change, you can work around! The book is packed with simple yet effective strategies for maintaining focus, conquering clutter, staying on top of work demands, and taming the chaos of family life. Numerous worksheets and forms (which purchasers can download and print in a convenient 8
Named one of "22 new books…that you should consider reading before the year is out" by Fortune "This practical and empathetic guide to taking the high road is worth a look for workers lost in conflict." — Publisher's Weekly A research-based, practical guide for how to handle difficult people at work. Work relationships can be hard. The stress of dealing with difficult people dampens our creativity and productivity, degrades our ability to think clearly and make sound decisions, and causes us to disengage. We might lie awake at night worrying, withdraw from work, or react in ways we later regret—rolling our eyes in a meeting, snapping at colleagues, or staying silent when we should speak up. Too often we grin and bear it as if we have no choice. Or throw up our hands because one-size-fits-all solutions haven't worked. But you can only endure so much thoughtless, irrational, or malicious behavior—there's your sanity to consider, and your career. In Getting Along, workplace expert and Harvard Business Review podcast host Amy Gallo identifies eight familiar types of difficult coworkers—the insecure boss, the passive-aggressive peer, the know-it-all, the biased coworker, and others—and provides strategies tailored to dealing constructively with each one. She also shares principles that will help you turn things around, no matter who you're at odds with. Taking the high road isn't easy, but Gallo offers a crucial perspective on how work relationships really matter, as well as the compassion, encouragement, and tools you need to prevail—on your terms. She answers questions such as: Why can't I stop thinking about that nasty email?! What's behind my problem colleague's behavior? How can I fix things if they won't cooperate? I've tried everything—what now? Full of relatable, sometimes cringe-worthy examples, the latest behavioral science research, and practical advice you can use right now, Getting Along is an indispensable guide to navigating your toughest relationships at work—and building interpersonal resilience in the process.