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Approaching his middle forties, Gavin Boyter wondered what his life was all about. A Scot living in London, single and with no kids, he was living for the job and the dwindling hope of a career in film. He had been a club runner all his life, pretty good but not at the front all that often. He was what he called an ordinary runner and he came to wonder just what an ordinary runner might be capable of. How about John O'Groats to Land's End, the longest linear run in Britain, and how about making a film of it? And how about writing a book? As usual, Gavin was neither the first nor the quickest but Downhill from Here is his real triumph, written in such an engaging and witty voice the reader accompanies him every step of the way.
This collection of quotes, trivia, and exclusive behind-the-scenes material, focused on everyone’s favorite bad guy—the violent, foul-mouthed, and charismatic psychopath Negan—is an essential guide for all fans of both the AMC television show The Walking Dead and the original comic book series. The Walking Dead is a cultural phenomenon that has infected the minds of zombie-loving fans worldwide. Whether you’re familiar with the hit television show, the comic book series, or both, one of the most memorable characters is Negan—the barbed-wire baseball-bat-wielding leader of the Saviors. Now, in The Quotable Negan, you can discover fun and fascinating trivia, his most bad-ass quotable moments, and much more. This is the perfect gift for any fan of The Walking Dead’s most infamous villain.
A masterfully updated edition of The F-Word which renders a comprehensive portrait of English's most notorious and colorful word. No word has generated more uses, more creative euphemisms, and more strong opinions than fuck. Jesse Sheidlower's historical dictionary, now in print for over 25 years, charts the uses of fuck and its many permutations, from absofuckinglutely to zipless fuck. It illustrates every sense of every entry with quotations, from the earliest that can be found to a recent example, showing exactly how the word has been used throughout history. This new edition is not just a minor update but a comprehensive revision of Sheidlower's groundbreaking text for the internet age. Major new discoveries push back the known history of fuck by almost two hundred years. Sheidlower also considers rapidly changing attitudes towards the use of fuck in public discourse. The volume includes over 1,000 new quotations; over 100 antedatings (earlier examples of existing entries, improving our understanding of the word's development); and many dozens of new entries, including high-profile recent uses such as AF 'as fuck', fuckboi, and the group of expressions of the sort to give no fucks or zero fucks given.
Watch a video The fiction debut of the New York Times bestselling author of My Fair Lazy. Told in the uproariously entertaining voice readers have come to expect from Jen Lancaster, If You Were Here follows Amish-zombie-teen- romance author Mia and her husband Mac (and their pets) through the alternately frustrating, exciting, terrifying-but always funny-process of buying and renovating their first home in the Chicago suburbs that John hughes's movies made famous. Along their harrowing renovation journey, Mia and Mac get caught up in various wars with the homeowners' association, meet some less-than-friendly neighbors, and are joined by a hilarious cast of supporting characters, including a celebutard ex- landlady. As they struggle to adapt to their new surroundings- with Mac taking on the renovations himself- Mia and Mac will discover if their marriage is strong enough to survive months of DIY renovations.
“We should start our own religion.” One simple sentence, one really bad idea. But to chronic underachievers Danny Welles and Walter James, starting a new religion sounded like the best idea they'd ever had. Those six little words would inspire them to write their own dogma, ensnare a gullible Hollywood star to be their spokesman, hijack the nation’s highest-rated TV talk show and create the Church of OK, a religion based on “positivity and permissiveness” that would fuel a media firestorm rocketing them to fame – and infamy. Holy Crap is a funny, satirical look at our modern culture, following its characters as they take on religion, Hollywood, television, the tabloids and each other with the goal to enrich lives – as well as their own bank accounts. It’s a journey filled with religious zealots, 7-Eleven hot dogs, Caddyshack as a Christian allegory, Kama Sutra with cats, a certain amount of substance abuse, and heartfelt sex on playground equipment.
I told a judge I was engaged to my best friend. Now we’re faking it. How hard can it be? My life has room for exactly two women: my daughter Rusty and my best friend Charlotte — known to everyone as Charlie. One is a feisty, tomboyish firecracker. The other is my seven-year-old. I can’t imagine life without either. So when my ex springs a custody hearing on me, I find myself telling the judge that I’m engaged to Charlie. The only problem? I’m not. Time to fake an engagement. Pretending we’re a couple will be no big deal. We’ve been friends for years. We used to sneak cigarettes behind the bleachers. We turned cans of hairspray into flamethrowers. We got drunk on stolen malt liquor. She’s beautiful, vivacious, spontaneous, and she loves my daughter to death. It’s the perfect answer: we fake it for a few months, then go back to our lives. Until we touch, and sparks fly. Until I can’t take my eyes off her. Until I can’t stop thinking about what she’s got on under her coveralls. It takes one kiss. One touch. One shared secret and suddenly, I’m not pretending anymore. I want her, I need her in ways I didn’t know I could. But there’s a lifetime of friendship between us, and falling in love with Charlie could mean risking everything. Best Fake Fiance is the second book in the Loveless Brothers series, and can be read as a total standalone. It's for fans of high-heat, low-angst romantic comedies and anyone who loves a single dad who gets fake engaged. This one's got tons of sibling banter, a big family, an adorable kid who never gives her dad a break, all the friends-to-lovers swoon you can handle, and a small town where everyone knows everything. It's steamy, hilarious, and it's got an HEA. (And yes, it bangs.) This series is for fans of Karla Sorenson, Meghan Quinn, Melanie Harlow, Cate C Wells, and Pippa Grant.
Tessa Lane is a unicorn and proud of it. Sure, the delightfully chunky 30 year old might be a mess, but at least she’s a hot mess. And she knows she’s exactly what a ton of couples are looking for: a bi woman who wants a couple… but also wants to keep it casual. To keep things from getting serious, Tessa has a list of rules that helps her go from hellos to hell-yeahs as efficiently as possible when she meets a new couple on her dating app: One-and-done. Always get a hotel room. And never, ever stay the night. But there’s a lot more to this unicorn than meets the eye. When Tessa’s mother calls to invite her to an anniversary party in her hometown, the tangle of secrets that she’s been keeping begins to unravel. Forced to confront her family’s expectations, unwelcome feelings for her brother’s best friend, and a couple that has her rethinking her list of rules, can Tessa face a series of unexpected events and her own buried insecurities without compromising what she wants… even if she discovers that what she wants isn’t necessarily what she needs? With a cast of quirky and lovable characters, a curvy body-positive main character, and a ton of sass, The Unicorn Confessions is the first in a series of books that walk the line between steamy, scorching romance and witty women’s fiction as Tessa explores the ways love and romance can exist outside traditional couples.
These 23 stories take us on a twisted fun ride into some future times and parallel universes where characters as diverse as a one-legged International Actuarial Forensics specialist, a pharmaceutical guinea pig, and a far-sighted fetus engage in their own games of the survival of the fittest. From a new short story by William Gibson in which a teen disassociated from his body haunts his neighborhood through the decades, to Douglas Coupland’s balls-out satire of a slightly futuristic Survivor, to Sheila Heti's meditative romp about beleaguered physicists and Oracle of Delphi-like Blackberrys, Darwin’s Bastards is a fast-moving, thought-provoking reading extravaganza.
Sequel to Everyday Vampire My name is Silas. I don't need a last name. I don't use one except to establish a new identity in a new city. All part of being a vampire. I'm not complaining. I love my life. And there's nothing that can make me change. Until the man who turned me into a vampire forces me into a dangerous game of vampire politics, where we out vampires to the world slowly but surely. As I begin to live with a vampire family, I start to appreciate other things -- like a local human grocer named Oliver. I don't know how this is going to end. I've lived for a long time, but I've never lived through a worldwide shift where people learn of the existence of vampires. Being the face of the movement makes one thing certain -- the past is going to come back to bite me. NOTE: This book contains extreme horror scenes that may be triggering. Reader discretion is advised.
Perhaps while reading Shakespeare you've asked yourself, What exactly is Hamlet trying to tell me? Why must he mince words and muse in lyricism and, in short, whack about the shrub? But if the Prince of Denmark had a Twitter account and an iPhone, he could tell his story in real time--and concisely! Hence the genius of Twitterature. Hatched in a dorm room at the brain trust that is the University of Chicago, Twitterature is a hilarious and irreverent re-imagining of the classics as a series of 140-character tweets from the protagonist. Providing a crash course in more than eighty of the world's best-known books, from Homer to Harry Potter, Virgil to Voltaire, Tolstoy to Twilight and Dante to The Da Vinci Code. It's the ultimate Cliffs Notes. Because as great as the classics are, who has time to read those big, long books anymore? Sample tweets: From Hamlet: WTF IS POLONIUS DOING BEHIND THE CURTAIN??? From the Harry Potter series: Oh man big tournament at my school this year!! PSYCHED! I hope nobody dies this year, and every year as if by clockwork. From The Great Gatsby: Gatsby is so emo. Who cries about his girlfriend while eating breakfast...IN THE POOL?