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When Santa becomes stuck in Molly's chimney, she helps deliver the rest of his gifts.
This book is about answering the impossible questions that children ask parents. At sometime in life a child will ask one of those questions and we as parents need to be able to answer as honestly as possible. If that question is impossible to answer and most likely it will be, do as I did. WING IT!!!
This week only, save 10% to 40% on the boxed sets, Claus Boxed (Volume 1 and Volume 2)… In the early 1800s, Nicholas Santa discovered an ancient race of elven. Short, fat and hairy, they have lived peacefully on the North Pole since the Ice Age but Nicholas is quickly swept into the colony’s first and only fracture. The elven known as the Cold One has divided his people. His name is Jack. And Jack’s tired of hiding. Why should they live in a shrinking ice cap when humans occupy the rest of the world? It’s just not fair. There’s no stopping Jack from world domination until Nicholas Santa, the only human to enter the elven colony, joins helium-bladder reindeer, artificially-intelligent snowmen, and a merry band of big-footed elven to bring peace back to the North Pole. And becomes a legend. REVIEWS FOR THE CLAUS UNIVERSE “Amazing rewrites that will astound you!” –Ruth Jackson, Reviewer“Best Santa Story Ever!” – Bob, Reviewer“Simply lovely.” –jl, Amazon Reviewer“MY HEART GREW THREE SIZES…” – Reviewer“Couldn’t Put It Down.” – Reviewer“Fantasy at it’s [sic] finest.” –Carol, Reviewer“Absolutely phenomenal!” –JayFly, Reviewer“A++” –TKJ 131, Reviewer“Absolutely Awesome.” –Dee greusel, Reviewer“I absolutely love this series…” –Kara McCabe, Reviewer“Tony is an excellent story teller!” jjjlake, Reviewer“I want MORE!” –J. Bunch, Reviewer“Awesomely engaging!” –Janice Everett, Reviewer
We all know Santa Claus: fat, jolly, omniscient, swift. Lives in a nice home in the Arctic, with the missus and a pack of elves. Well, forget what you know. Santa Claus is from Greenpoint, Brooklyn, as it turns out, and he's not as fat as he used to be. Here's something else you didn't know: he's been dabbling in some futuristic technology, and has found myriad ways to make his job possible. How can Santa know who's been naughty and nice? Simple: implant listening devices into your ornaments. How can he make it to every house Christmas Eve? That's nothing a little cloning and some wormholes can't solve. And he has plenty of other tactics: quantum entanglement, organ replacement, drug-induced hibernation, and unmanned aerial vehicles, to name just a few. In this fantastically illustrated, affectionate, and hilarious book, Gregory Mone uses science and technology to overturn the assumption that Santa can't be real. Drawing on the work of accomplished scientists and researchers, Mone gives us a whole new portrait of this remarkable man and the miracles he makes happen every year. With imaginative artwork and an eye-catching package, this book makes an outstanding Christmas gift for just about anyone.
A wonderful 'Who¿s behind the door¿ book with a surprise on every page. See old Fred, Rodney¿s cat and many more delightful characters in the hilarious search for Santa! What you see might not be what you expect!
Dear Santa all I want is a fat bank account & a skinny body. Santa dont mix it up again. Whether you are a vegan, meat eater, or have a sweet tooth, help Santa Claus get it right this time with this themed Funny Dear Santa Dont Mix It Up Xmas Gift notebook planner. High quality finish printed in the USA & fulfilled by Amazon, this is a perfect funny gag gift journal or diary gift for men and women who love to crack jokes around the holidays feasts and festivities. Combine with a shirt or hoodie for extra oomph. Check out the author's expanded journal diary gift collection. Blank lined 20 lines per page, 120 pages, 6x9 inches, matte-finished cover, and white paper. Check out the author's expanded journal diary gift collection.
A satire of traditional Christmas stories and noir. A hardboiled elf is framed for murder in a North Pole world that plays reindeer games for keeps, and where favorite holiday characters live complex lives beyond December. Fired from his longtime job as captain of the Coal Patrol, two-foot-three inch 1,300-year-old elf Gumdrop Coal is angry. He's one of Santa's original elves, inspired by the fat man's vision to bring joy to children on that one special day each year. But somewhere along the way things went sour for Gumdrop. Maybe it was delivering one too many lumps of coal for the Naughty List. Maybe it's the conspiracy against Christmas that he's starting to sense down every chimney. Either way, North Pole disillusionment is nothing new: Some elves brood with a bottle of nog, trying to forget their own wish list. Some get better. Some get bitter. Gumdrop Coal wants revenge. Justice is the only thing he knows, and so he decides to give a serious wakeup call to parents who can't keep their vile offspring from landing on the Naughty List. But when one parent winds up dead, his eye shot out with a Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model BB gun, Gumdrop Coal must learn who framed him and why. Along the way he'll escape the life-sucking plants of the Mistletoe Forrest, battle the infamous Tannenbomb Giant, and survive a close encounter with twelve very angry drummers and their violent friends. The horrible truth lurking behind the gingerbread doors of Kringle Town could spell the end of Christmas-and of the fat man himself. Holly Jolly!
Some of today's leading women writers speak out on the subject of weight and the obsession with body image in a collection of essays that includes Caroline Leavitt's writings on eating and grief, Whitney Otto on having a mother who was a Weight Watchers lecturer, and works by Joyce Maynard, Laurie Notaro, Ann Hood, Kate Harding, and others. Original. 30,000 first printing.
All great writers in history were smokers but now smoking had been banned globally effective New Year’s Day 2009. The Act of Cessation was launched during the transition between the Bush and Obama administrations with dire implications because of the rampant rumor of Obama being a closet-smoker. This book is a parody about a brilliant writer who lives two lives – one in the media industry interfacing with celebrities, a number of whom make cameo appearances. The other is his secret life as the last smoker on earth. Facilitated by nicotine stimulation, the protagonist is on a mission to return literature to society as a closet-smoker, writing the great American novel in his surreptitious sojourns to the underground. If apprehended by the anti-tobacco police he will be incarcerated in a place called the Midnight Express and never heard from again.