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'Best in Show' or farting fiasco? It's the day of the big dog show and all is going really well for Fred - he's jumping and tumbling and performing amazing tricks. There is just one problem - he can't stop his sudden urge to fart! Will Fred hold it in or will the judges be blown away? Age range: 2-6 years Word count: 100 words
The first (and maybe last, depending on sales) anthology of the hugely popular website CollegeHumor.com! Since 1999, CollegeHumor.com has been home to some of the best comedy online. From its humble, dorm room origins, CollegeHumor has grown to attract over ten million monthly visitors, making it far more popular than any magazine except the one published by the AARP (different demographic). It employs dozens of young comedy writers and performers who, having grown tired of competing with online pornography, have agreed to commit their work to paper in this book. CollegeHumor. The Website. The Book. compiles the staff's favorite articles from the first decade of the site's existence, plunging the depths of the archive to bring you the very best of the very funny, including such favorites as: Drunk-O-Vision Great Historical Pickup Lines Honest Cyber Sex Where I Hide My Porn The Riddler Gets Lazy Instant Messaging with Mom Introducing Google Smartass And hundreds more that don’t have catchy enough titles for the back cover!
In 1974, despite having a young wife and three very young children, Basil suggested that he would like to take a year out and drive, with his family, some 30,000 miles, to India and back. This is the story of part of that incredible journey and of a group of young people they met and travelled with. A journey that would be impossible today. Three times held up by gunmen, in what the author describes as the badlands between Turkey and India. Witness to a ritual stoning to death in Ghazni. Locked up for a killing in Afghanistan. And accused of smuggling in Pakistan. The book is written with great humour and honesty. It is a story of a time before e-mails and mobile phones, a time before cash machinesa time when it was possible for your whereabouts to be unknown for weeks or months at a time. A story of dangerous mountain passes and dangerous people. But above all, it is a story of deep friendships quickly formed, of trust and of belief, and of the joy of being young, when, for you the extraordinary becomes ordinary, and the impossible becomes possible.
Fred doesn't want to get up. Mainly because it's a holiday he doesn't like, but also because the girl next door insists on a kiss. He soon finds himself running away but not before visiting all the beautiful landmarks in the world. Our gas carries us Up the Eiffel Tower. Then past the Arc de Triomphe With full fart power. Share this new funny story for Valentine's Day or any day of the year to learn all about famous landmarks and world travel. Adults are permitted to laugh too. The children's book series, Farting Adventures, celebrates the value of laughter. The Farting Adventures book series is geared to kids and adults ages 0-100. Check out all the Farting adventures books: Taylor the Tooting Turkey, Frank the Farting Flamingo, Artsy Fartsy the Farting Penguin, Fairy the Farting Unicorn, and Fritz the Farting Reindeer.
This impolite, aromatic, and incredibly erudite flatulence compendium will astound you with: • The recent discovery of the world’s oldest joke, a proverb from the Old Babylonian period, that turned out to be—that’s right, folks—a fart joke. • A new reading of Emily Dickinson’s poetry that “reveals” the true meaning behind “They Have a Little Odor.” • A harrowing account of Apollo astronauts getting inner-space gas from hydrogen bubbles in their drinking water on their way to the moon. • The other Tiger Woods scandal—this one involving a mysterious cheek-squeak recorded while Tiger sized up an approach shot at the 2009 Buick Open. • A scientist who built the world’s biggest whoopee cushion and lived to tell about it . . . . . . and many more wacky but true tales from the fart historian who brought you the best-selling Who Cut the Cheese? and its combustible sequel, Blame It on the Dog. In this incomparable collection you’ll experience firsthand the Jungian implications of farting, the environmental import of “flatulence cards” in the carbon-offset market, and the brutally honest social commentary of a man whose office chair broadcasts his farts on Twitter. After reading this book you’ll proudly proclaim, “I fart, therefore I am.”
Top Gift For 2020! Did you know that snowmen fart? It's true! Follow Freddie the Farting Snowman to learn the hysterical kinds of farts that are a part of snowman life. The Arctic Blast, the Farticle Collider and many more will have you bursting with laughter! This book is appropriate for ALL AGES who don't mind silly toot humor (that is not overly gross). Words used include: toot, fart, gas, booty, rump, and bum. Grab this new release in time for the holiday gift giving season! 8.5" x 8.5" Premium glossy cover Hilarious collection of fart names and situations Full color, professional illustrations An easy quick gift for the kids (and kids at heart) on your gift list
The first biography of F W Paterson, radical barrister and Communist Party MLA for Bowen from 1944 to 1950, when his electorate was gerrymandered out of existence by the ruling Labor Party. Detailed index.
Funny, poignant, and deeply moving, The Line Tender is a story of nature's enduring mystery and a girl determined to find meaning and connection within it. Wherever the sharks led, Lucy Everhart's marine-biologist mother was sure to follow. In fact, she was on a boat far off the coast of Massachusetts, collecting shark data when she died suddenly. Lucy was seven. Since then Lucy and her father have kept their heads above water--thanks in large part to a few close friends and neighbors. But June of her twelfth summer brings more than the end of school and a heat wave to sleepy Rockport. On one steamy day, the tide brings a great white--and then another tragedy, cutting short a friendship everyone insists was "meaningful" but no one can tell Lucy what it all meant. To survive the fresh wave of grief, Lucy must grab the line that connects her depressed father, a stubborn fisherman, and a curious old widower to her mother's unfinished research on the Great White's return to Cape Cod. If Lucy can find a way to help this unlikely quartet follow the sharks her mother loved, she'll finally be able to look beyond what she's lost and toward what's left to be discovered. ★"Confidently voiced."—Kirkus Reviews, starred ★"Richly layered."—Publishers Weekly, starred ★"A hopeful path forward."—Booklist, starred ★"Life-affirming."—BCCB, starred ★"Big-hearted." —Bookpage, starred ★“Will appeal to just about everyone.” – SLC, starred ★"Exquisitely, beautifully real."—Shelf Awareness, starred
Love never dies in this novel by “a writer of addictive emotional thrillers” (The Independent). Told from three perspectives A Particular Man is about love, truth and the unpredictable consequences of loss. When Edgar dies in a Far East prisoner of war camp it breaks the heart of fellow prisoner Starling. In Edgar’s final moments, Starling makes him a promise. When, after the war, he visits Edgar’s family to fulfill this promise, Edgar's mother Clementine mistakes him for another man. Her mistake allows him access to Edgar’s home and to those who loved him, stirring powerful and disorientating emotions, and embroiling him in a web of deceit. The loss has driven his sister Aida to seek solace in the arms of a series of men—but the meeting with Starling sparks a complex connection, fueled by their mutual longing for Edgar. Meanwhile Clementine, also grieving for Edgar, has secrets of her own… “One of Britain’s finest novelists.” —The Sunday Telegraph “[Glaister] commands respect for writing novels which are not just dark and mysterious but also emotionally satisfying.” —The Times Literary Supplement “An expert plotter.” —The Scotsman
DISCOVER:: Kid's or Children's Book that is Highly Entertaining, Humorous, Great for Early Readers, and a Great Bedtime Story This Children's Short Story has it all Great for ages 4-12 Zach and Fred are best friends. They always have fun no matter where they go. Fred can be a little stinky sometimes, and he always eats way too much, but he is the greatest friend a kid could have. When Zach is happy, Fred farts, sings, and wiggles. When Zach is shy, Fred farts for giggles. Fred is an invisible dinosaur that burps, farts, and sneezes. Zach is the boy he loves to pieces. Fred's name is long, like his never-ending tail. He can only be seen by Zach, Emily, and Dale. Zach is lucky to have a friend like Leo McStinky Fluffy Farty Fat Fred. Download Your Copy of My Dinosaur Farts Today, and Read for FREE on Kindle Unlimited! tags: dinosaur, dinosaurs, dinosaur books for kids, kids books, children's books bedtime stories for kids, bedtime storybook collection, bedtime storybook, kids stories, bedtime stories for children, bedtime reading, Children's books, short stories, kids stories, stories for kids, stories for children, kids ebooks, short stories, bedtime stories, kids stories, stories for kids, short stories for kids, short stories, stories for kids, jokes, kids stories, childrens stories, kids books, childrens books, books for kids, bedtime stories, kids books, ebooks, books for kids, jokes, kids, hilarious, children, kid, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book about animals, elementary, kids book, books for kids, childrens book, book, kindle book, kindle ebook, comedy,books for kids, books for children, humor, early reader, beginning reader, kids comedy, bedtime stories, stories for kids, preschool, ages 3-5, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, preteen, beginning readers, beginner reading, kids stories, children stories