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THE HILLS ARE ALIVE...WITH THE SOUND OF SUCKING Maria von Trapp is sweet, innocent, and can sing like an angel. Oh, and she's also a bloodthirsty vampire. When Maria is kicked out of the zombie-infested abbey where she's been residing for the past 612 years, she's forced to take care of the family Von Trapp, a rowdy clan in need of some serious discipline... or vampirification. After Maria turns the Von Trapp children into children of the night and marries the Von Trapp patriarch, the family seems destined for eternal (really, really eternal) bliss. But the Nazi Undeath Squads are on the march, intent on ridding Europe of bloodsuckers. And Maria will have to do everything in her power—supernatural or otherwise—to save her vampire brood. Sixteen going on seventeen members of our legal team have instructed us to tell you, even though it should be obvious, that My Favorite Fangs was not prepared, authorized, licensed, approved, or endorsed by any person or entity involved in the creation or production of The Sound of Music film, or any version of the stage musical. That seventeenth wouldn't take our call because he was too busy drinking his tea—a drink with jam and bread—to weigh in.
The first in the Half-Moon Hollow series is “wry, delicious fun” (Susan Andersen, New York Times bestselling author) as it follows a librarian whose life is turned upside down by a tempestuous and sexy vampire. Maybe it was the Shenanigans gift certificate that put her over the edge. When children’s librarian and self-professed nice girl Jane Jameson is fired by her beastly boss and handed twenty-five dollars in potato skins instead of a severance check, she goes on a bender that’s sure to become Half Moon Hollow legend. On her way home, she’s mistaken for a deer, shot, and left for dead. And thanks to the mysterious stranger she met while chugging neon-colored cocktails, she wakes up with a decidedly unladylike thirst for blood. Jane is now the latest recipient of a gift basket from the Newly Undead Welcoming Committee, and her life-after-lifestyle is taking some getting used to. Her recently deceased favorite aunt is now her ghostly roommate. She has to fake breathing and endure daytime hours to avoid coming out of the coffin to her family. She’s forced to forgo her favorite down-home Southern cooking for bags of O negative. Her relationship with her sexy, mercurial vampire sire keeps running hot and cold. And if all that wasn’t enough, it looks like someone in Half Moon Hollow is trying to frame her for a series of vampire murders. What’s a nice undead girl to do?
Sebastian Young must find a way to help his brother Rhys when he breaks his one rule and saves the life of a mortal woman, which leads to a sensual encounter that makes him forget that he is a vampire. Original.
Nigel Mullet isn't your typical teenager . . . he's a vampire. But unfortunately, when Nigel transformed he didn't become all broody and interesting, and as for super strength and speed . . . well, forget it! Instead he's got acne, a voice that squeaks, a tendency to break out in a rash (not sparkles!) when exposed to the sun, and absolutely no idea how to talk to girls. When a beautiful new girl moves into the neighborhood, Nigel is determined to win her heart but first he's got to figure out how. In the meantime, he writes about her in his diary and composes really bad love poetry that he will recite to her one day, if he can work up the courage to tell her the truth. Can Nigel win the girl and the respect of his family--or is he destined to be a totally lame vampire forever?
Moments before he is executed, the killer of famed Vietnam War hero-pilot Hub Walker's daughter makes a startling allegation: the real murderer is Walker's close friend, a prominent U.S. defense contractor. Walker wants to hire somebody willing to spend a few days hunting up information that will refute the convicted killer's groundless but widely reported claims, and help restore his friend's good name. That somebody, as fate would have it, is sardonic civilian flight instructor, would-be Buddhist and retired military assassin Cordell Logan. Thus begins one of the year's most suspenseful mystery-thrillers. A Medal of Honor recipient married to a former Playmate of the Year, Walker resides in the swanky San Diego enclave of La Jolla, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Logan is convinced that working for Walker will be little more than a paid vacation - a chance to rub shoulders with a living legend while rekindling Logan's relationship with his own enticing ex-wife, Savannah. But after flying to San Diego in his beloved aging Cessna, the Ruptured Duck, Logan is quickly drawn into a vexing and deadly jigsaw puzzle. The deeper he digs, the murkier the truth appears, and the more in danger he finds himself. Who really killed the war hero's daughter, and why? Somebody in "America's Finest City," wants to stop Logan from asking questions, and will stop at nothing to silence him.
The third book in the “funny, sexy, and lively” (Publishers Weekly) romance series about a paranormal dating service called Midnight Liaisons. From the supernatural dating capital of the world, it’s the Midnight Liaisons Dating Game! Let’s meet our eligible bachelors… ​“Cold hands, warm heart” applies to Bachelor #1. He believes that nighttime is the right time. Welcome, Bert the vampire! Bachelor #2 is an old soul—four hundred years old, to be exact. If you want someone to spend eternity with, choose Andre the vampire! Dying to snuggle up with a strong, sexy were-cougar? Bachelor #3 is a real cat(ch) who will tail the woman of his dreams until his irresistible charm melts her heart. He’s Joshua Russell! Who’s our lucky bachelorette? Professional matchmaker Marie Bellavance has hooked up hundreds of were-things, harpies, faeries, and vamps. Now it’s her turn. This alluring human’s not afraid to break the rules. But when nature takes over, a forbidden romance could be her only chance to live a full, healthy life. If there’s a trick to getting turned, she needs to find it…fast.
For a woman married to the vampire of her nightmares, the honeymoon’s over—and reality bites… Pia’s dream of being married has come true. But her husband is straight out of her nightmares. Pia Thomason is torn between two Dark Ones and feeling like a fool, considering she doesn’t know where either of them are. Alec was no doubt broken-hearted over finding out that Pia was mated to his best friend, Kristoff. And hubby Kristoff believes she has ties to the group trying to destroy his people. So Pia goes back to her humdrum Seattle life determined to forget about Kristoff—but fate has other plans. With Alec missing, something truly evil threatening her ghostly charges, and the vampire community hunting both Kristoff and her for crimes they didn’t commit, Pia realizes that if they’re going to be shackled together for better or worse, she may as well start to enjoy it…
Fashion's greatest secret is about to become undone. Since togas were haute couture, supernatural beings have been relegated to the fashion industry by an ancient curse. You can blame deep v-necks on the vampires and Uggs on the werewolves. Assembly lines? Zombies. Silly Bandz? For 2,000 years, these secrets have been kept. Until now.
After changing from lame to super-attractive over school break, vampire Nigel acquires a girlfriend, Chloe, and starts the new term as one of the most popular students at school, but then a new student sets his sights on Chloe and Nigel must compete for her affections.
As if being a teenager doesn't suck enough. Erin has been bitten by a vampire, twice. As she starts slipping into the dark side, horrible things start happening, like pizza doesn't taste good anymore. Worse, she gets outed as a vampire during a dodge ball game at school. Her friends and family learn one more bite will turn her Undead forever, so they arm themselves with stakes and garlic to protect her from the vampires that want to turn her into a coffin sleeper forever. "I loved this book, fangs and all," New York Times best-selling author James Rollins. "Fantastically funny," BookLoons "This book sucks, in a most delightful way," Shane Gericke, national best-selling author. FANG FACE made me laugh, and I'm not a Teen. Or perhaps I am, but I'm trapped in a grown-up's body," Raymond Benson, best-selling author. ..".genuinely funny," Tallesin - The Vampire's Lair. Five Starred by Amazon top reviewer Harriet Klausner.