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Welcome. Come amuse yourself in the company of slime-dripping vagina jaws, Aboriginal ABBA tribute bands and Deliverance-quoting parrots. This trio of politically incorrect comedies, which bleakly focus on male inadequacy and misogyny, will introduce you to a bunch of chronic misfits kicking around Wales, Australia and South Korea. But be warned - you may grow to like some of them. Just make sure you don't leave this little encyclopaedia of dysfunction on your maiden aunt's chair... Book 1: Looking For Sarah Jane Smith Marty's living in a Welsh town he hates, doing a job he's lost interest in and so bored he can't even be bothered with sex. But a new life beckons in Australia. It's also a chance to get away from his stupid mates, the loveable loser John and the ultra-macho Wasp Boy. Maybe he'll even meet an exquisite girl like his Doctor Who heroine, Sarah Jane Smith, and live happily ever after... Looking for Sarah Jane Smith - For anyone who suspects life's a bit rubbish. Part road trip and part celebration of idiotic male friendship, Looking for Sarah Jane Smith is sure to strike a chord with those who appreciate The Inbetweeners, Peep Show and Bill Hicks. Book 2: Manic Streets of Perth Perth. It's thousands of miles from anywhere, it's got a rubbish Bell Tower and not enough of the laidback locals are being eaten by sharks. Well, that's what expat reporter Paul Lewis thinks, but after a lonely Manic Street Preachers fan reveals her disastrously unlucky life suddenly nothing's the same... Manic Streets of Perth - Where a snake-wielding robber is just the start of your troubles. Gentler and warmer than Dave Franklin's other novels, Manic Streets of Perth is an easy to read comedy. Book 3: English Toss on Planet Andong Every year thousands of people travel to faraway lands to teach English as a foreign language. The fools. One such expat is Paul Taylor, a heartbroken Aussie looking for a fresh start in a South Korean classroom. The lack of training isn't much of a help, but it's the baffling natives and unhinged flatmates that really start to convince him he's crash-landed in another galaxy... Packed with over the top characters, English Toss is a demented sitcom of a novel that revels in the extremes of expat dislocation. Total length: 240,000 words.
A foul-mouthed comedy that follows one man's search for the perfect woman. Marty's living in a Welsh town he hates, doing a job he's lost interest in and so bored he can't even be bothered with sex. But a new life beckons in Australia. It's also a chance to get away from his stupid mates, the loveable loser John and the ultra-macho Wasp Boy. Maybe he'll even meet an exquisite girl like his Doctor Who heroine, Sarah Jane Smith, and live happily ever after... Looking for Sarah Jane Smith - For anyone who suspects life's a bit rubbish. Part road trip and part celebration of idiotic male friendship, Looking for Sarah Jane Smith is sure to strike a chord with those who appreciate Withnail & I, Peep Show and Bill Hicks. "...if there's one thing that stands out about this, it's how bloody funny it is. I actually packed Looking for Sarah Jane Smith for a long-haul flight and such a page-turner did it prove to be that I finished it within a couple of hours." - Living Abroad Magazine "While not in any means a Doctor Who book, Looking for Sarah Jane Smith is a good example of how Doctor Who has infiltrated the national psyche, as well as portraying how humans relate to fantasy figures... A post-modern laddist cult classic." - Kasterborous (Doctor Who website) "...A bitter, crude, but funny book... These boys are not particularly likeable, but their story is raw, honest, unsophisticated and rooted in bittersweet reality." - Post Newspapers "Franklin's prose combines the earthiness of Irvine Welsh with the biting sarcasm of a young Kingsley Amis as he chronicles the adventures and mishaps of Marty and his two loser mates." - Community Newspaper Group "An agreeably raucous and politically incorrect novel that touches on Dr Who and men behaving badly. Its strong language and adult scenes make it the perfect Christmas gift for that younger brother or impressionable nephew." - The West Australian (This story is also available as part of the bargain-priced anthology, Evil Arse Soup: Three Ultra-Dark Comedies).
Ancient forces guarding a walled African city have been disrupted. People are getting sick, crops are failing and disaster looms. Is it connected to the arrival of a mysterious child? This story can also be found in the anthology A Promise of Pain: A Collection of Dark Psychological Writing.
Perth. It's thousands of miles from anywhere, it's got a rubbish Bell Tower and not enough of the laid-back locals are being eaten by sharks. Well, that's what expat reporter Paul Lewis thinks, but after a lonely Manic Street Preachers fan reveals her disastrously unlucky life suddenly nothing's the same... Manic Streets of Perth - Where a snake-wielding robber is just the start of your troubles. Gentler and warmer than Dave Franklin's other novels, Manic Streets is an easy to read comedy. "The storytelling is deft, sweet and funny; Brookmyre-esque without the gore, and is recommended. Manics fans, especially Richeyites, will enjoy the frequent references to the band, and the recurring theme of Kim's obsession with Small Black Flowers." - Forever Delayed (Manic Street Preachers website) "Franklin crafts the central players with great ease to such an extent that the hot and mundane Perth streets are secondary. In fact, this enthralling tale could be set in any Australian town or city." - Quest Newspapers "The title may make Dullsville sound exciting, but the protagonist of Manic Streets of Perth is defiantly less than flattering about our fair city. Still, if you like fiction offbeat and on the edgy side, there's plenty of humour, pathos and plain speaking." - Scoop magazine "I loved Manic Streets - there was a great story underlying a slightly madcap series of events and characters that really pulled the reader through. There are some great characters in this story - the self-pitying, slightly idiotic journalist Paul, Kim's father (sans both legs), the support group for people with very unfortunate names, and Kim herself. Kim's just fabulous - real - strong - vivid." - Australian Crime Fiction (This story is also available in the anthology, Evil Arse Soup: Three Ultra-Dark Comedies).
A bare-chested Charlton Heston sitting on a horse staring up at the Statue of Liberty. Naked high school girls frolicking in a locker room a moment before transforming into an unholy chanting mob of plug-it-up nastiness. Scorpio dementedly forcing a busload of kidnapped kids to sing nursery rhymes. And an ever so slightly chubby Kansas farm girl telling us there’s no place like home... Movies, eh? What would we do without ’em? Probably watch more TV shows for a start. Anyhow, this is a book for politically incorrect cinephiles, its collection of reviews, articles and drunken ramblings showcasing my love of mid to late twentieth century movies.
From emotional vampires and insane killers to religious ecstasy and suicide, Dave Franklin cordially invites you on a journey into the darkest corners of the human heart. This anthology gathers together horror, supernatural, dark fantasy and psychological stories from the Straitjacket Blues series, including the full-length novel, The Goodreads Killer. It contains strong adult content and is not for the easily offended.
Inspired by the epic John Miles song, Dave Franklin's blood-soaked novella follows a well-respected gentleman onto the streets of Whitechapel. This story can also be found in the murder-infused anthology, Riders on the Storm and Other Killer Songs.
How many Blue Oyster Cult references can you spot? Set in the Australian outback, this elegiac novella can also be found in the dark fiction anthologies Riders on the Storm and Other Killer Songs & Begin The Madness: The Straitjacket Blues Trilogy.
Friends. We all need them. And some of us are happy to go to extraordinary lengths to find them... This ebook contains a bonus story, The Dead Belong With The Dead. Both stories can be found in the dark fiction anthology, Begin The Madness: The Straitjacket Blues Trilogy.
Part coming of age story and part exploration of the maddening nature of dreams, Girls Like Funny Boys is a potent mix of sexual obsession, guilt and fame. 'Gina crouched, resting on her haunches to continue the conversation. Her legs were too far apart. There was a hole in her black tights just above the left knee. Johnny felt a hot urge to poke a finger in it. He wished she'd leave him alone. He wished she wasn't wearing tights. He stared at her lopsided mouth and the way her fat lower lip jutted out. It was so red it bordered on purple, the colour of strawberries on the turn.' Meet Johnny Goodwin. He's grown up in a quiet Brisbane suburb with loving parents, a faithful dog and an unrequited yearning for his teenage sweetheart, Angie Everson. Now in his last year at school, he's finally caught her eye by starring in a teacher-baiting pantomime. Dreams are already taking shape of a career in entertainment, perhaps with Angie by his side. And all he's got to do is pass his exams, get to uni and keep away from Gina Wood, that weird girl who once let him touch her… "Girls Like Funny Boys wasn't what I expected - and that's simply not fair as Dave Franklin's not meant to be writing to a formula. But I really didn't expect to find this as engaging, involving and emotional as I did. I loved Johnny, rode the waves of his life every step of the way. I laughed out loud at points and found myself sniffing back tears at others... Most of all I just loved this book." - Australian Crime Fiction Length: 115,000 words.