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A biting black comedy that centres on three hopeless expat teachers in South Korea. Every year thousands of people travel to faraway lands to teach English as a foreign language. The fools. One such expat is Paul Taylor, a heartbroken Aussie looking for a fresh start in a South Korean classroom. The lack of training isn't much of a help, but it's the baffling natives and unhinged flatmates that really start to convince him he's crash-landed in another galaxy... Packed with over the top characters, English Toss is a demented sitcom of a novel that revels in the extremes of expat dislocation. 'The author has an excellent ear for dialogue and some of his set-pieces are laugh out loud funny.' - Groove Korea magazine 'Startlingly different.' - Australian Crime Fiction '...the writing has pace, and is hilarious in places. An expose on Korean culture on and ESL teaching this book is not. But as a simple black comedy, English Toss is worth reading.' - The Korea Herald
Welcome. Come amuse yourself in the company of slime-dripping vagina jaws, Aboriginal ABBA tribute bands and Deliverance-quoting parrots. This trio of politically incorrect comedies, which bleakly focus on male inadequacy and misogyny, will introduce you to a bunch of chronic misfits kicking around Wales, Australia and South Korea. But be warned - you may grow to like some of them. Just make sure you don't leave this little encyclopaedia of dysfunction on your maiden aunt's chair... Book 1: Looking For Sarah Jane Smith Marty's living in a Welsh town he hates, doing a job he's lost interest in and so bored he can't even be bothered with sex. But a new life beckons in Australia. It's also a chance to get away from his stupid mates, the loveable loser John and the ultra-macho Wasp Boy. Maybe he'll even meet an exquisite girl like his Doctor Who heroine, Sarah Jane Smith, and live happily ever after... Looking for Sarah Jane Smith - For anyone who suspects life's a bit rubbish. Part road trip and part celebration of idiotic male friendship, Looking for Sarah Jane Smith is sure to strike a chord with those who appreciate The Inbetweeners, Peep Show and Bill Hicks. Book 2: Manic Streets of Perth Perth. It's thousands of miles from anywhere, it's got a rubbish Bell Tower and not enough of the laidback locals are being eaten by sharks. Well, that's what expat reporter Paul Lewis thinks, but after a lonely Manic Street Preachers fan reveals her disastrously unlucky life suddenly nothing's the same... Manic Streets of Perth - Where a snake-wielding robber is just the start of your troubles. Gentler and warmer than Dave Franklin's other novels, Manic Streets of Perth is an easy to read comedy. Book 3: English Toss on Planet Andong Every year thousands of people travel to faraway lands to teach English as a foreign language. The fools. One such expat is Paul Taylor, a heartbroken Aussie looking for a fresh start in a South Korean classroom. The lack of training isn't much of a help, but it's the baffling natives and unhinged flatmates that really start to convince him he's crash-landed in another galaxy... Packed with over the top characters, English Toss is a demented sitcom of a novel that revels in the extremes of expat dislocation. Total length: 240,000 words.
Part coming of age story and part exploration of the maddening nature of dreams, Girls Like Funny Boys is a potent mix of sexual obsession, guilt and fame. 'Gina crouched, resting on her haunches to continue the conversation. Her legs were too far apart. There was a hole in her black tights just above the left knee. Johnny felt a hot urge to poke a finger in it. He wished she'd leave him alone. He wished she wasn't wearing tights. He stared at her lopsided mouth and the way her fat lower lip jutted out. It was so red it bordered on purple, the colour of strawberries on the turn.' Meet Johnny Goodwin. He's grown up in a quiet Brisbane suburb with loving parents, a faithful dog and an unrequited yearning for his teenage sweetheart, Angie Everson. Now in his last year at school, he's finally caught her eye by starring in a teacher-baiting pantomime. Dreams are already taking shape of a career in entertainment, perhaps with Angie by his side. And all he's got to do is pass his exams, get to uni and keep away from Gina Wood, that weird girl who once let him touch her… "Girls Like Funny Boys wasn't what I expected - and that's simply not fair as Dave Franklin's not meant to be writing to a formula. But I really didn't expect to find this as engaging, involving and emotional as I did. I loved Johnny, rode the waves of his life every step of the way. I laughed out loud at points and found myself sniffing back tears at others... Most of all I just loved this book." - Australian Crime Fiction Length: 115,000 words.
Friends. We all need them. And some of us are happy to go to extraordinary lengths to find them... This ebook contains a bonus story, The Dead Belong With The Dead. Both stories can be found in the dark fiction anthology, Begin The Madness: The Straitjacket Blues Trilogy.
How many Blue Oyster Cult references can you spot? Set in the Australian outback, this elegiac novella can also be found in the dark fiction anthologies Riders on the Storm and Other Killer Songs & Begin The Madness: The Straitjacket Blues Trilogy.
Inspired by the epic John Miles song, Dave Franklin's blood-soaked novella follows a well-respected gentleman onto the streets of Whitechapel. This story can also be found in the murder-infused anthology, Riders on the Storm and Other Killer Songs.
From emotional vampires and insane killers to religious ecstasy and suicide, Dave Franklin cordially invites you on a journey into the darkest corners of the human heart. This anthology gathers together horror, supernatural, dark fantasy and psychological stories from the Straitjacket Blues series, including the full-length novel, The Goodreads Killer. It contains strong adult content and is not for the easily offended.
Thomas Ultorem's burning obsession to make it as a writer has broken him. And in the chaotic world of his disintegrating psyche, someone’s got to pay… The Goodreads Killer – Talk is cheap, but murder costs nothing. This very violent, blackly comic novel collects together all three parts of The Goodreads Killer.
An atheist professor and a Muslim boy find themselves on a collision course.
A humiliated teacher, a desert rendezvous, and a little boy who makes a new friend... The pleasure of your company is requested for a final stroll into emotional quicksand. Contains Brief Meetings, Maintaining A Certain Image, Then Came The Last Days Of May & The Goodreads Killer (Part 3).