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Madison Spencer, the liveliest and snarkiest dead girl in the universe, continues the afterlife adventure begun in Chuck Palahniuk’s bestseller Damned. Just as that novel brought us a brilliant Hell that only he could imagine, Doomed is a dark and twisted apocalyptic vision from this provocative storyteller. The bestselling Damned chronicled Madison’s journey across the unspeakable (and really gross) landscape of the afterlife to confront the Devil himself. But her story isn’t over yet. In a series of electronic dispatches from the Great Beyond, Doomed describes the ultimate showdown between Good and Evil. After a Halloween ritual gone awry, Madison finds herself trapped in Purgatory—or, as mortals like you and I know it, Earth. She can see and hear every detail of the world she left behind, yet she’s invisible to everyone who’s still alive. Not only do people look right through her, they walk right through her as well. The upside is that, no longer subject to physical limitations, she can pass through doors and walls. Her first stop is her parents’ luxurious apartment, where she encounters the ghost of her long-deceased grandmother. For Madison, the encounter triggers memories of the awful summer she spent upstate with Nana Minnie and her grandfather, Papadaddy. As she revisits the painful truth of what transpired over those months (including a disturbing and finally fatal meeting in a rest stop’s fetid men’s room, in which . . . well, never mind), her saga of eternal damnation takes on a new and sinister meaning. Satan has had Madison in his sights from the very beginning: through her and her narcissistic celebrity parents, he plans to engineer an era of eternal damnation. For everyone. Once again, our unconventional but plucky heroine must face her fears and gather her wits for the battle of a lifetime. Dante Alighieri, watch your back; Chuck Palahniuk is gaining on you.
Pandora Walker unwittingly unleashes cyber Armageddon on her 17th birthday and must play a virtual reality game in order to save the world. By the author of the Tempest series and the co-author of The International Kissing Club (under the pseudonym Ivy Adams).
To his fellow conservatives, John Derbyshire makes a plea: Don't be seduced by this nonsense about "the politics of hope." Skepticism, pessimism, and suspicion of happy talk are the true characteristics of an authentically conservative temperament. And from Hobbes and Burke through Lord Salisbury and Calvin Coolidge, up to Pat Buchanan and Mark Steyn in our own time, these beliefs have kept the human race from blindly chasing its utopian dreams right off a cliff. Recently, though, various comforting yet fundamentally idiotic notions of political correctness and wishful thinking have taken root beyond the "Kumbaya"-singing, we're-all-one crowd. These ideas have now infected conservatives, the very people who really should know better. The Republican Party has been derailed by legions of fools and poseurs wearing smiley-face masks. Think rescuing the economy by condemning our descendents to lives of spirit-crushing debt. Think nation-building abroad while we slowly disintegrate at home. Think education and No Child Left Behind. . . . But don't think about it too much, because if you do, you'll quickly come to the logical conclusion: We are doomed. Need more convincing? Dwell on the cheerful promises of the diversity cult and the undeniable reality of the oncoming demographic disaster. Contemplate the feminization of everything, or take a good look at what passes for art these days. Witness the rise of culturism and the death of religion. Bow down before your new master, the federal apparatchik. Finally, ask yourself: How certain am I that the United States of America will survive, in any recognizable form, until, say, 2022? A scathing, mordantly funny romp through today's dismal and dismaler political and cultural scene, We Are Doomed provides a long-overdue dose of reality, revealing just how the GOP has been led astray in recent years–and showing that had conservatives held on to their fittingly pessimistic outlook, America's future would be far brighter. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to embrace the Audacity of Hopelessness.
Think adolescence is hell? You have no idea... Welcome to Dante's Inferno, by way of The Breakfast Club, from the mind of American fiction's most brilliant troublemaker. "Death, like life, is what you make out of it." So says Madison, the whip-tongued 11-year-old narrator of Damned, Chuck Palahniuk's subversive homage to the young adult genre. Madison is abandoned at her Swiss boarding school over Christmas while her parents are off touting their new film projects and adopting more orphans. Over the holidays she dies of a marijuana overdose--and the next thing she knows, she's in Hell. This is the afterlife as only Chuck Palahniuk could imagine it: a twisted inferno inspired by both the most extreme and mundane of human evils, where The English Patient plays on repeat and roaming demons devour sinners limb by limb. However, underneath Madison's sad teenager affect there is still a child struggling to accept not only the events of her dysfunctional life, but also the truth about her death. For Madison, though, a more immediate source of comfort lies in the motley crew of young sinners she meets during her first days in Hell. With the help of Archer, Babette, Leonard, and Patterson, she learns to navigate Hell--and discovers that she'd rather be mortal and deluded and stupid with those she loves than perfect and alone.
An obituarist opens his archive to celebrate the obscure and the eccentric. In Doomed and Famous, an obituarist opens his archive in celebration of the most marginal and improbable characters, creating a meta-fiction of extinction and obscurity. For many decades Adrian Dannatt tracked and dredged the dead, with a macabre disregard for the etiquette of mortality. His specialty, much in demand among even the most mainstream publications, was to memorialize those whose eccentricity or criminality made them unlikely candidates for the fleeting immortality of a newspaper necrology. Dannatt maintained a veritable lust, perverse certainly, for capturing and celebrating such wayward existences. This book is a selection of some of the best—meaning most improbable—of these miniature biographies. Here are arranged an almost fictive cast of characters including an imaginary Sephardic count in Wisconsin, a sadomasochist collector of the world's rarest clocks, a discrete Cuban connoisseur of invisibility, an alcoholic novelist in Rio, a Warhol Superstar gone wrong, a leading downtown Manhattan dominatrix, a conceptual artist who blew up a museum, and many others. Dannatt terminates this volume with his own putative extinction, performing the difficult if not dangerous task of penning his personal life history and ultimate end.
I wish that someone had warned me. I wish that we would have met sooner, and I'd wished that we had never met at all. I was doomed the day I met him, whether I ever realized it or not, and in more ways than one. I was seventeen years old and had never been kissed, the picture of pure, sarcastic innocence-my sweatpants-clad ass so at odds with those of the girls I was forced to sit next to in English class. I just didn't fit. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for what would happen next-my lips untrained against his, warms hands on my skin. We weren't supposed to fit. The boy from the so-called wrong side of the tracks, with black hair that ended in ringlet curls halfway down his back. Good falling for so-called bad. We weren't supposed to fit, but we did.
Fasten your seatbelts. Mission Earth is approaching climax . . . And it will rock your world! Who will control Voltar? What is Earth’s ultimate fate? And what is the big mystery? The wait is over. Powerful forces are on the move. Entire planets hang in the balance. The moment of truth is finally at hand—and it’s a real blast! In the middle of it all stands Royal Officer of the Fleet, Jettero Heller, a man determined to save both Voltar and Earth from extinction. Together with an outlaw emperor and an army one hundred thousand strong, Heller lays siege to Palace City, which has fallen into the depraved and diabolical hands of Lombar Hisst. But the success of Heller’s great adventure is far from a sure thing. For in order to achieve victory, he will not only have to break the laws of Voltar—but defy the laws of physics. Here is your ticket to travel beyond the boundaries of space and time. Experience the unfolding mysteries, the violent pleasures and the biting, inescapable truths you can only find in the final reckoning of THE DOOMED PLANET. “Marvelous satire by a master of adventure.” —ANNE MCCAFFREY
A complicated and much-hated Tudor queen tells her side of the story in this engaging novel of Anne Boleyn. Anne Boleyn was born without great beauty, wealth, or title, but she has blossomed into a captivating young woman—and she knows it. Determined to rise to the top, she uses her wiles to win the heart of England’s most powerful man, King Henry VIII. Not satisfied with the king’s heart, however, she persuades Henry to defy everyone—including his own wife—to make her his new queen. But Anne’s ambition would prove to be her fatal flaw. Named a New York Public Library Book for the Teen Age, among other honors, Doomed Queen Anne is part of the historical fiction Young Royals series that has illuminated the youthful lives of Europe’s most compelling—and sometimes, infamous—queens and princesses.