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'Great two-fisted writing from the far side of hell.' - John Birmingham, bestselling author of He Died with a Felafel in his Hand 'A unique look at a gritty game. Relentlessly funny and obsessively readable.' - Phillip Noyce, director of The Quiet American and Clear and Present Danger Paul Carter has been shot at, hijacked and held hostage. He's almost died of dysentery in Asia and toothache in Russia, watched a Texan lose his mind in the jungles of Asia, lost a lot of money backing a mouse against a scorpion in a fight to the death, and been served cocktails by an orang-utan on an ocean freighter. And that's just his day job. Taking postings in some of the world's wildest and most remote regions, not to mention some of the roughest oil rigs on the planet, Paul has worked, gotten into trouble and been given serious talkings to in locations as far-flung as the North Sea, Middle East, Borneo and Tunisia, as exotic as Sumatera, Vietnam and Thailand, and as flat out dangerous as Columbia, Nigeria and Russia, with some of the maddest, baddest and strangest people you could ever hope not to meet. Strap yourself in for an exhilarating, crazed, sometimes terrifying, usually bloody funny ride through one man's adventures in the oil trade. When not getting into trouble on the rigs Paul lives a quiet life in Sydney.
He's back on the rigs and back in trouble. Picking up right where he left off, Paul Carter pulls out more tall tales of a mad, bad and dangerous life in the international oil trade. Starting with action and mayhem galore This Is Not A Drillsets an unrelenting pace that just doesn't let up, as Paul almost drowns when the Russian rig he's working on begins to capsize; is reunited with his Dad - another adrenaline junkie; gets married; hangs out with his rig pig buddies in exotic locations; gets hammered on vodka in Sakhalin; and spends a couple of interesting weeks in Afghanistan with some mates who run an outfit that just happens to contract out mercenaries for hire . . . This is the next fast, furious and very funny book from Paul Carter, the author of the best selling Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs, She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse.
This book describes my life and experiences as a Fly In Fly Out (FIFO) worker in the oil and gas industry, from trainee to fifteen-year veteran. My career - so far - has included stints on four offshore facilities and one major onshore LNG (Liquefied Natural Gas) project. I currently work on the World's largest floating object which I helped build in South Korea over a three year period. These experiences have been unique in many ways, but are conveyed in a very human way; I was not interested in writing a technical book, a history of the industry, or an environmental tome of monumental importance. This is just a story of my life as a FIFO worker during one of the busiest and most interesting times in the industry, particularly Australia. For example, my current facility was the first floating LNG plant ever designed, and is a game changer for the industry, but the process is described in laymen's terms, easy to understand. We have also seen major upheaval caused by the Covid-19 pandemic; border restrictions, enforced separation and isolation, falls in oil prices and increased Unionism. In short, this is a description of a unique way of working and living. It involves a cast of hundreds of characters, places and events, most of them amusing, some of them sad or possibly even exciting, a lot of them are things that are small in their own way but have never been presented in a book, with the possible exception of "Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs, She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse ". It is what we do on a day-to-day basis when we are at work, and I believe that a large amount of "normal" people are very interested in this lifestyle, apart from the 150,000 plus FIFO workers based in Australia, Canada and elsewhere. It also openly and honestly describes my descent into depression, sometimes so bad I wanted to suicide. FIFO can be hard. FIFO is a different life altogether, it comes with its own issues and problems, from distances travelled, the method of getting there, fatigue, dangerous conditions, depression, anxiety, separation from family and The World, huge relationship hurdles, as well as the concept of being trapped by the lifestyle and the large salaries, the Golden Handcuffs as we call it. In fact, this book is a study of Australian working culture in many ways with all its blemishes. The lifestyle is not for everyone, especially offshore, and many people have crashed and burned in the time I have been in the job. We do a minimum of 12 hour days, 7 days a week, up to 28 days straight, sometimes longer when storms hit or choppers fail. At the same time a lot of us get paid well and we get decent breaks where we spend that money we earn. And we work with some of the best people on the planet, even if the Companies and their management structures leave a lot to be desired. I hope you enjoy it and find it interesting.
From the two defining personalities of post-cyberpunk SF, a brilliant collaboration to rival 1987's The Difference Engine by William Gibson and Bruce Sterling
A take no prisoners' approach to life has seen Paul Carter heading to some of the world's most remote, wild and dangerous places as a contractor in the oil business. Amazingly, he's survived (so far) to tell these stories from the edge of civilization, and reason.
Attempting 300 kph on an untested experimental motorcycle could be considered a perfect way to kill yourself, but Paul Carter is still, well, Paul Carter and danger at high speed is his second name. Whether discovering that being dyslexic means delivering your lines to camera back to front in the midst of filming a TV series, or starting a new business and travelling the world, or dealing with life's more sober moments like the birth of a son or the loss of a father, Paul Carter is still the funniest man in the bar and the nicest alpha male you'll ever meet as he risks all for the sake of a good story. So strap yourself in and brace yourself for his fourth book - we all remain hopeful that he will not be institutionalised before completing his fifth.
Captain Rob Anderson spills the beans on a lifetime of incidents, accidents and shenanigans of every type, in every ocean of the world, during an era when the seas were largely unregulated and more like the Wild West than anything witnessed on land. Since he first went to sea at 15 Captain Rob has been a magnet for trouble but, somewhat preposterously, as matter, he has more often been the one responsible for keeping each enterprise afloat and picking up the pieces when the ships hit the fan. Whether it's stashing a headless body in the freezer, losing another body before a sea burial, accidentally sabotaging the annual Roebuck Bay Hotel Race in Broome, nearly losing his scrotum in a Japanese spa, or catapulting a mate off the roof of his truck when racing from the dock for last orders...it was all part of the job for Captain Rob. No wonder, when it eventually came time to 'swallow the anchor' he got as far inland as he practically could!
All through his growing-up years, John Danalis's family had an Aboriginal skull on the mantelpiece; yet only as an adult after enrolling in an Indigenous Writing course did he ask his family where it came from and whether it should be restored to its rightful owners. This is the compelling story of how the skull of an Aboriginal man, found on the banks of the Murray River more than 40 years ago, came to be returned to his Wamba Wamba descendants. It is a story of awakening, atonement, forgiveness, and friendship. ""It is as if a whole window into Indigenous culture has blown open, not jus.
Oi, mate, is that monstrosity diesel? From the author of the bestsellers Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs, She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse and This Is Not a Drill, this is the eagerly awaited next instalment of Paul Carter's rollicking life. Take one mad adventurer and a motorbike that runs on bio fuel (cooking oil i.e. chip fat to you and me) and send them with one filmmaker on a road trip around Australia just to see what happens. What you get is a story full of outback characters, implausible (but true) situations, unlikely events and unfortunate breakdowns, all at a breakneck pace. Never one to sit still for long, this is what Paul Carter did next. Whether you've been shocked, delighted, entertained, horrified -- or all of the above -- by Paul's stories whether from oil rigs or the road, one thing is for sure, they are always high octane adventures.
On 28 June 1915, young James Martin sailed from Melbourne aboard the troopship Berrima – bound, ultimately, for Gallipoli. He was just fourteen years old. Soldier Boy is Jim's extraordinary true story, the story of a young and enthusiastic school boy who became Australia's youngest known Anzac. Four months after leaving his home country he would be numbered among the dead, just one of so many soldier boys who travelled halfway around the world for the chance of adventure. This is, however, just as much the story of Jim's mother, Amelia Martin. It is the heartbreaking tale of the mother who had to let him go, of his family who lost a son, a brother, an uncle, a friend. It is about Amelia's boy who, like so many others, just wanted to be in on the action.