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From the best-selling author of DON'T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON! The pages are packed with Texas Bix Bender's no-nonsense outlook on life: "Don't get even--get over it." "Never miss a good chance to shut up." "Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone." "Take your 'take home pay' home." "Put off 'til tomorrow what you shouldn't be doing anyway."
A native of Texas, Katherine Bowers now resides in Pennsylvania with husband Robert, two children, Clifton and Michelle, and grandchildren, Caleb, Savannah, Gabriel, Katherine and Luke. Katherine has an associateas degree in aLife in the Pit, a a bacheloras degree in aAmazing Grace, a followed by a masteras degree in aChristas Redeeming Love.a
You’ll never be at a loss for words again with this inspired collection of quotes, from bona fide wits to bona fide dimwits. Bob Hope once said, "I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance--waiting for the bathroom." No doubt, lots of people will be learning to tango and foxtrot while they wait for the rabid readers of Uncle John’s Colossal Collection of Quotable Quotes to emerge from the privy. The Bathroom Readers’ Institute searched high and low for the wittiest, wisest and stupidest things ever said, and collected these remarks in one remarkable volume. With more than 4,000 quotations from 1,600 speakers and writers--from bona fide wits like Oscar Wilde and David Letterman, to bona fide dimwits like Britney Spears (who infamously quipped, "I go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.")--there’s no other book of quotations quite like this one.
Ahh…what a relief it will be to hold this most entertaining, informative, and amusing tome in the palm of your hands. Hours of great bathroom reading await you! Uncle John’s Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader, Uncle John’s all-new 15th edition, sheds a light on everything under the sun and over the moon. From obscure history to classic wordplay to dumb crooks to inspiring quotations, you never know what you’re going to read next! Where else could you learn how the banana peel changed history, how to predict the future by rolling the dice, how the Jivaro tribes shrunk heads, and the science behind love at first sight? Uncle John rules the world of information and humor, so get ready to be thoroughly entertained. Read all about… Homer the Greek versus Homer the Simpson The history of the bicycle When humans become hailstones Alternate definitions for common words Helen Keller’s wisdom The Silly Putty saga And much more!
The smartest and funniest quotations of all time, artfully arranged into witty—and surprising—categories. Every page will entertain, educate, and delight. Uncle John’s dedicated team of quotationeers have scoured the worlds of entertainment, history, literature, politics, sports, and more to bring you this unique collection of utterances that bear repeating. From silly to profound, from Aristotle to Mr. T, you’ll discover insights on such topics as love, sex, conspiracies, boredom, cheese, juggling, and the true meaning of belly-button lint. Here are but a few of the thousands of morsels awaiting you: “Weaseling out of things is good. It’s what separates us from the other animals . . . except the weasel.” —Homer Simpson “All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.” —Gordie Howe “In America, sex is an obsession. In other parts of the world, it’s a fact.” —Marlene Dietrich “With my sunglasses on, I’m Jack Nicholson. Without them, I’m fat and sixty.” —Jack Nicholson “It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase ‘as pretty as an airport’ appear.” —Douglas Adams “If it’s called USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday? Bam! Busted!” —Stephen Colbert “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” —Phyllis Diller
Beauty pageants, bad musicals, bizarre diseases, and more: it’s all covered in this collection of fascinating trivia and full-color pictures! It’s finally here: the book that Uncle John’s fans have been asking for: a full-color, illustrated edition featuring the most entertaining articles from the world’s bestselling bathroom trivia series! Hundreds of eye-popping photographs add a new dimension to Uncle John’s unique blend of trivia, humor, origins, history, science, and oddities. All the reader favorites are included—including dumb crooks, weird news, flubbed headlines, strange lawsuits, quirky quotations—and more. Now they pop off the pages like never before! So stimulate your visual cortexes as you read about . . . •Weird Beauty Pageants •40 Odd Uses for WD-40 •“Bagpiper’s Fungus” and other bizarre diseases •The Wild World of Weird Sports •The “putrified forest” at Tennessee’s Body Farm •The origins of Monopoly, the lava lamp, computer viruses, and B movies •World records that are so risky, Guinness won’t even report them •The all-time dumbest business decisions •Harrowing stories from history, including the 1906 San Francisco earthquake and the Pilgrims’ uncomfortable ride on the Mayflower •The Toxic Travel Guide •How to cook with roadkill, get your TV show on the air, and more •Whatever happened to Nikola Tesla’s death ray? •Real-life superheroes . . . and much, much more!
To Save An Innocent Woman, She Must Break All The Rules Bounty hunter Jinx Ballou’s world is spiraling down the drain. Racked with grief and on a reckless, drunken bender, she has alienated herself from everyone she loves. Only when she’s hired to apprehend a fugitive who is a fellow transgender woman does she pull her act together. After learning her fugitive is being framed by a legal system hostile to trans women, Jinx joins the woman’s biker gang to prove her innocence. But doing so not only further jeopardizes Jinx’s flagging career, but puts her and the bikers in a desperate fight to the death with the actual killer. Can Jinx prove the woman's innocence while also salvaging what's left of her career? A Broken Woman is the third book in the Jinx Ballou Bounty Hunter crime thriller series. If you enjoy page-turning suspense, shocking plot twists, and crime novels where trans women are the heroes rather than the villains, you’ll love Dharma Kelleher’s exciting thrill-ride. Buy A Broken Woman and join Jinx on this thrill-a-minute ride through Arizona's mean streets and unforgiving desert. “Dharma Kelleher’s A Broken Woman delivers a high-octane, blood-pumping story of justice, any way it can be had. Jinx Ballou is three parts ticking explosive, one part tender protector of friends and all those who deserve better than what they’ve been handed.” – Lori Rader-Day, Anthony Award-winning author of The Day I Died “I love a book where crisis after crisis are thrown at the hero and you’ve got that in spades with the latest Jinx Ballou thriller, A Broken Woman.” – Simon Wood, USA TODAY Bestselling Author of The One That Got Away “Dharma Kelleher delivers bad-ass blue-collar crime fiction with a snappy sense of humor and a lot of heart. The struggles of Jinx Ballou as she works the periphery of the imperfect criminal justice system make for compelling reading and top-notch entertainment.” – Thomas Pluck, Anthony-finalist author of Bad Boy Boogie ” A Broken Woman comes swinging out the gates and Kelleher delivers in spades. Engrossing, taut, and kick-your-teeth-in exciting, A Broken Woman needs to be on top of your to-read pile.” – Angel Luis Colon author of Hell Chose Me